{"id":47938,"date":"2016-04-21T20:21:00","date_gmt":"2016-04-22T01:21:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/?p=47938"},"modified":"2022-05-31T20:25:15","modified_gmt":"2022-06-01T01:25:15","slug":"my-girlfriend-is-distancing-herself-from-me-but-she-says-nothing-is-wrong","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/my-girlfriend-is-distancing-herself-from-me-but-she-says-nothing-is-wrong\/","title":{"rendered":"My girlfriend is distancing herself from me, but she says nothing is wrong"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\n\t<h2>Question:<\/h2>\n<p>What does it mean when your fiancee suddenly seems to have lost interest in you? She no longer texts as often as she used to and whenever I ask her if anything is wrong she says no. I&#8217;ve told her it&#8217;s all right if she doesn&#8217;t love me anymore, tell me, but she insists that I am seeing things that are not there. She used to text a lot and we would talk a lot, but she has just suddenly grown cold and quiet. I love her a lot, but she has grown overly cold. If I don&#8217;t text her first, she doesn&#8217;t make an effort to text me. I think the most painful part is that she is acting distant, and when I ask, she plainly denies it and says that I am seeing things that are not there and that she is still interested in marrying me. I&#8217;ve even observed that sometimes when we have plans to meet, she sometimes finds a very clever way not to meet: &#8220;my battery died&#8221; or &#8220;I had to do my hair.&#8221; I am in a state of utter confusion. What should I do?<\/p>\n\t<h2>Answer:<\/h2>\n<p>Last night in Bible class we were discussing the church in Laodicea. &#8220;<em>I know your works, that you are neither cold nor hot. I could wish you were cold or hot. So then, because you are lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will vomit you out of My mouth<\/em>&#8221; (Revelation 3:15-16). Your relationship serves as a good illustration of what Jesus was talking about.<\/p>\n<p>We prefer for a relation to have some zeal, some fire, to it. We want people to be excited to see us and be with us. While we don&#8217;t want relationships to end, a clean break is easier to deal with than being pulled along by false hopes that are repeatedly dashed.<\/p>\n<p>Now, in any relationship, high excitement can&#8217;t be maintained. It takes too much energy. But it should settle down into quiet confidence in where you stand with each other. You&#8217;ve told her that you have noticed things dying down, but she has done nothing to answer your concerns. Either that means she is taking you for granted &#8212; assuming you will always be there without effort on her part &#8212; or she has found someone else whom she is more interested in, but she isn&#8217;t ready to make the jump yet.<\/p>\n<p>One of the problems you are having is that you want her to decide to end the relationship. In a way, you are both being indecisive. Dating is about two people working together toward a goal of eventual marriage. If you don&#8217;t think things are working out, if you don&#8217;t want to be married to a woman who distances herself from you, then the best thing you can do is gently and politely call it off.<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Question: What does it mean when your fiancee suddenly seems to have lost interest in you? She no longer texts as often as she used to and whenever I ask her if anything is wrong she says no. I&#8217;ve told her it&#8217;s all right if she doesn&#8217;t love me anymore, tell me, but she insists&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[149,662,1475],"class_list":["post-47938","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-dating","tag-engagement","tag-girls"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":35637,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/is-it-wrong-to-divorce-my-wife-if-she-moves-out\/","url_meta":{"origin":47938,"position":0},"title":"Is it wrong to divorce my wife if she moves out?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"November 1, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I found out less than six months ago that my wife of two years was seeing another man. My wife and I had been together for over five years before I asked her to marry me.\u00a0 Before we were married she was in a short relationship with her boss\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":25684,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/should-i-apologize-or-move-on\/","url_meta":{"origin":47938,"position":1},"title":"Should I apologize or move on?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"January 20, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I'm 19 and I was in a relationship with a girl. I love her so much, but I do not know if she is the right girl for me. I believed that God sent me this girl because no matter what happened, we stayed together for more a year\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":23434,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/how-do-i-start-being-a-good-parent\/","url_meta":{"origin":47938,"position":2},"title":"How do I start being a good parent?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"June 18, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hello, I am a babe in Christ. I was just baptized last month. My life has changed very much since then, and I have no desire to go back to the way I was. I still have struggles, but I am trying to live a Christian life. A major\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Adolescence&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Adolescence","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/parenting\/adolescence\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":37720,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/am-i-sinning-by-seeing-a-woman-who-still-lives-with-her-husband-though-she-says-they-are-separated\/","url_meta":{"origin":47938,"position":3},"title":"Am I sinning by seeing a woman who still lives with her husband, though she says they are separated?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"March 10, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I'm seeing a woman who lives with her husband but is separating and has no relationship with him. She stays together with him for the kids' sake, but this has been going on for two years. Am I committing a sin? I honestly believe her that they are not\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":25168,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-found-a-woman-whom-i-really-like-but-she-says-she-isnt-interested-in-me-what-do-i-do\/","url_meta":{"origin":47938,"position":4},"title":"I found a woman whom I really like, but she says she isn&#8217;t interested in me. What do I do?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"December 8, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hi. I'm wondering if you can please help me with a struggle I've had regarding a desire for a particular woman. There is a young Christian woman who I really like, but she had told me a while ago that she doesn't have a romantic interest in me. Since\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":35061,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/what-do-i-do-about-a-girlfriend-who-is-being-pressured-to-drop-me-because-of-prophecies\/","url_meta":{"origin":47938,"position":5},"title":"What do I do about a girlfriend who is being pressured to drop me because of &#8220;prophecies?&#8221;","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"October 8, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hi, I came across your site while googling about prophets and marriage. I have been a Christian for over 25 years in a Congregational church. I met a beautiful woman on a social network. I wasn't looking to hook up or anything bad. I was actually just looking for\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/47938","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=47938"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/47938\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=47938"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=47938"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=47938"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}