{"id":47938,"date":"2016-04-21T20:21:00","date_gmt":"2016-04-22T01:21:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/?p=47938"},"modified":"2022-05-31T20:25:15","modified_gmt":"2022-06-01T01:25:15","slug":"my-girlfriend-is-distancing-herself-from-me-but-she-says-nothing-is-wrong","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/my-girlfriend-is-distancing-herself-from-me-but-she-says-nothing-is-wrong\/","title":{"rendered":"My girlfriend is distancing herself from me, but she says nothing is wrong"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\n\t<h2>Question:<\/h2>\n<p>What does it mean when your fiancee suddenly seems to have lost interest in you? She no longer texts as often as she used to and whenever I ask her if anything is wrong she says no. I&#8217;ve told her it&#8217;s all right if she doesn&#8217;t love me anymore, tell me, but she insists that I am seeing things that are not there. She used to text a lot and we would talk a lot, but she has just suddenly grown cold and quiet. I love her a lot, but she has grown overly cold. If I don&#8217;t text her first, she doesn&#8217;t make an effort to text me. I think the most painful part is that she is acting distant, and when I ask, she plainly denies it and says that I am seeing things that are not there and that she is still interested in marrying me. I&#8217;ve even observed that sometimes when we have plans to meet, she sometimes finds a very clever way not to meet: &#8220;my battery died&#8221; or &#8220;I had to do my hair.&#8221; I am in a state of utter confusion. What should I do?<\/p>\n\t<h2>Answer:<\/h2>\n<p>Last night in Bible class we were discussing the church in Laodicea. &#8220;<em>I know your works, that you are neither cold nor hot. I could wish you were cold or hot. So then, because you are lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will vomit you out of My mouth<\/em>&#8221; (Revelation 3:15-16). Your relationship serves as a good illustration of what Jesus was talking about.<\/p>\n<p>We prefer for a relation to have some zeal, some fire, to it. We want people to be excited to see us and be with us. While we don&#8217;t want relationships to end, a clean break is easier to deal with than being pulled along by false hopes that are repeatedly dashed.<\/p>\n<p>Now, in any relationship, high excitement can&#8217;t be maintained. It takes too much energy. But it should settle down into quiet confidence in where you stand with each other. You&#8217;ve told her that you have noticed things dying down, but she has done nothing to answer your concerns. Either that means she is taking you for granted &#8212; assuming you will always be there without effort on her part &#8212; or she has found someone else whom she is more interested in, but she isn&#8217;t ready to make the jump yet.<\/p>\n<p>One of the problems you are having is that you want her to decide to end the relationship. In a way, you are both being indecisive. Dating is about two people working together toward a goal of eventual marriage. If you don&#8217;t think things are working out, if you don&#8217;t want to be married to a woman who distances herself from you, then the best thing you can do is gently and politely call it off.<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Question: What does it mean when your fiancee suddenly seems to have lost interest in you? She no longer texts as often as she used to and whenever I ask her if anything is wrong she says no. I&#8217;ve told her it&#8217;s all right if she doesn&#8217;t love me anymore, tell me, but she insists&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_seo_schema_type":"","footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[20],"tags":[149,662,1475],"class_list":["post-47938","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-dating","tag-engagement","tag-girls"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":35637,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/is-it-wrong-to-divorce-my-wife-if-she-moves-out\/","url_meta":{"origin":47938,"position":0},"title":"Is it wrong to divorce my wife if she moves out?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"November 1, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I found out less than six months ago that my wife of two years was seeing another man. My wife and I had been together for over five years before I asked her to marry me.\u00a0 Before we were married she was in a short relationship with her boss\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":25684,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/should-i-apologize-or-move-on\/","url_meta":{"origin":47938,"position":1},"title":"Should I apologize or move on?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"January 20, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I'm 19 and I was in a relationship with a girl. I love her so much, but I do not know if she is the right girl for me. I believed that God sent me this girl because no matter what happened, we stayed together for more a year\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":25168,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-found-a-woman-whom-i-really-like-but-she-says-she-isnt-interested-in-me-what-do-i-do\/","url_meta":{"origin":47938,"position":2},"title":"I found a woman whom I really like, but she says she isn&#8217;t interested in me. What do I do?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"December 8, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hi. I'm wondering if you can please help me with a struggle I've had regarding a desire for a particular woman. There is a young Christian woman who I really like, but she had told me a while ago that she doesn't have a romantic interest in me. Since\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":23434,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/how-do-i-start-being-a-good-parent\/","url_meta":{"origin":47938,"position":3},"title":"How do I start being a good parent?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"June 18, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hello, I am a babe in Christ. I was just baptized last month. My life has changed very much since then, and I have no desire to go back to the way I was. I still have struggles, but I am trying to live a Christian life. A major\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Adolescence&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Adolescence","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/parenting\/adolescence\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3774,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/should-i-marry-a-woman-who-refuses-to-submit-to-me\/","url_meta":{"origin":47938,"position":4},"title":"Should I marry a woman who refuses to submit to me?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"March 27, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hi, How are you? I am a born again, 28-year-old young man. I have read many of your posts, and I find them very helpful and always in line with the word of God. I have a bit of a challenge. I have my girlfriend, who I have been\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":34909,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-moved-in-with-my-girlfriend-for-financial-reasons-but-lately-she-is-seeing-another-boy-what-do-i-do\/","url_meta":{"origin":47938,"position":5},"title":"I moved in with my girlfriend for financial reasons, but lately, she is seeing another boy. What do I do?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"September 23, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I have been in a relationship with this girl for about a year and a half now and now it's starting to fall apart. First, let me lay out the facts: She was born and raised Christian, but in High School had a falling out since her Grandma died.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/47938","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=47938"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/47938\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=47938"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=47938"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=47938"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}