My father is an abusive person: verbally and physically. My mum is a very fragile person with a warm heart. The problem is my father has been giving me a hard time for too long. Right now I am 21 and I still have not finished my education. That is why I am still living under his roof since he pays for my education. He is being violent and aggressive with my mum as well, but, as with many other women, she chooses to stay so as to not harm me and my brother. I have decided to leave, but my heart is aching because of the pain I will cause my mother. She does not support my choice of leaving, so I will have to do it behind her back.<\/p>\n
I am so confused. Should I consider my mum’s feelings and stay for her sake, or should I leave and start my life without humiliation and violence?<\/p>\n\t
Each person is responsible for their own decisions. Your mother currently stays with your father because she believes she is able to protect you and your brother. Your decision to leave is your own to make since you are an adult. Your mother can advise, but the choice remains your own. Perhaps your leaving will encourage her to either take a stand against her husband’s abuse or to also leave. Your staying causes nothing to change.<\/p>\n
Now with the decision to leave comes responsibility. You need to figure out how to live on your own, how to earn an income, and how to finish your education. Once you leave, you will not likely receive any more help from your father. Therefore, make sure you know where you will go next and don’t leave impulsively.<\/p>\n\t
Thank you very much. This helped a lot.<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Question: My father is an abusive person: verbally and physically. My mum is a very fragile person with a warm heart. The problem is my father has been giving me a hard time for too long. Right now I am 21 and I still have not finished my education. That is why I am still…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[20],"tags":[1105,550,1509],"class_list":["post-46787","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-abuse","tag-honor-your-parents","tag-parents"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":43257,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/how-do-i-help-my-mother-who-is-being-abused-by-my-father\/","url_meta":{"origin":46787,"position":0},"title":"How do I help my mother who is being abused by my father?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"July 15, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hello sir, I am 23 and recently finished my schooling. My dad denies Christ, but my mom is a believer. My dad is short-tempered. From the beginning, my mom was treated by him as a servant. He used to beat her, use abusive words over her -- sometimes in\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":31497,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/my-father-is-abusive-and-im-afraid-to-leave-my-mother-to-go-to-college-what-should-i-do\/","url_meta":{"origin":46787,"position":1},"title":"My father is abusive and I’m afraid to leave my mother to go to college. What should I do?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"January 29, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: My mom says that my dad has changed dramatically since they had first married. I\u00a0 don't know how he was before because I wasn't born, but I can't imagine that he was anything like how he is now. 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Though our relationship is based on the Word of God, we have the don't and the do's\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4460,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/how-do-you-honor-an-abusive-parent\/","url_meta":{"origin":46787,"position":3},"title":"How do you honor an abusive parent?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"April 3, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Well, I am not a\u00a0Mormon either.\u00a0(See earlier question.) \u00a0 My father is angry with me because I told him I thought that his buying a 34-year-old woman $209.00 in clothing at Nordstrom's department store\u00a0was not proper.\u00a0 My mother is in a home with Alzheimer and he is spending her\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":30783,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/can-a-daughter-at-18-go-to-college-without-her-parents-permission\/","url_meta":{"origin":46787,"position":4},"title":"Can a daughter at 18 go to college without her parent’s permission?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"November 27, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Would it be a sin to move out at 18 despite your father telling you that you will leave only when he approves? I know a father who will not allow his daughter to leave home until she is married. However, she is mainly confined to her house when\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3542,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/does-honoring-your-mother-and-father-mean-following-their-religious-beliefs\/","url_meta":{"origin":46787,"position":5},"title":"Does “honoring your mother and father” mean following their religious beliefs?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"October 31, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I was just reading\u00a0the essay on your website about \"honoring your father and mother\". I have been doing some research on the meaning of the word \"honor\", and I was wondering if you could answer a question for me, or just give me your opinion? 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