{"id":46692,"date":"2015-12-14T21:08:00","date_gmt":"2015-12-15T03:08:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/?p=46692"},"modified":"2022-04-21T21:11:16","modified_gmt":"2022-04-22T02:11:16","slug":"my-boss-isnt-writing-a-reference-as-she-promised-what-do-i-do","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/my-boss-isnt-writing-a-reference-as-she-promised-what-do-i-do\/","title":{"rendered":"My boss isn&#8217;t writing a reference as she promised. What do I do?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\n\t<h2>Question:<\/h2>\n<p>I have been working for an employer part-time, less than 19 hours a week, but I have come across an opportunity to work as a teacher&#8217;s assistant. My boss has always applauded me and said what a great job I was doing, and how I was her best employee basically. Last week I told her I would need a reference so I can apply for this new job and it would be a great opportunity for me to make more money, so I can pay off my student loans and other things. She said it was no problem and she would do the reference, but that was a lie. A week has passed and I have had to ask her every day for the reference before my application expires and I lose the opportunity, but she has just said OK and blown me off, pretty much. I have prayed to God to touch her heart, so she will do it, but she has even started being a little rude to me. I don&#8217;t know if this is God&#8217;s way of telling me that this job is not meant for me or if this is the devil trying to discourage me. I have asked my boss for the reference going on almost two weeks, and I feel it is unfair since I do my job so well.<\/p>\n<p>Please tell me what to do.<\/p>\n\t<h2>Answer:<\/h2>\n<p>This is not to excuse your boss, but I want you to see the conflicting motivations. You are a good employee, but now you&#8217;ve happily told your boss that you are leaving. Thus, she&#8217;s dragging her feet because she thinks you will stay.<\/p>\n<p>You have too much dependence on one reference. Since your boss won&#8217;t supply it, regardless of her reasons, see if you can get a few alternative references, perhaps from co-workers or older adults who know you &#8212; especially someone who is in the field you are looking to get a job. On your application mention that you asked your boss for a reference, but she hasn&#8217;t responded other than saying she will eventually write one.<\/p>\n<p>What you shouldn&#8217;t have done was ask her every day. No one likes to be nagged, especially when they know they are in the wrong. Ask once and perhaps a week or two later give a short polite reminder but after that drop the matter. &#8220;<em>By forbearance a ruler may be persuaded, And a soft tongue breaks the bone<\/em>&#8221; (Proverbs 25:15). You have to show patience with people who are over you.<\/p>\n\t<h2>Response:<\/h2>\n<p>Thank you so much.<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Question: I have been working for an employer part-time, less than 19 hours a week, but I have come across an opportunity to work as a teacher&#8217;s assistant. My boss has always applauded me and said what a great job I was doing, and how I was her best employee basically. Last week I told&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[20],"tags":[246,105,659],"class_list":["post-46692","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-employer","tag-employment","tag-jobs"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":21822,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/my-boss-appears-to-be-a-christian-but-she-is-awful-what-should-i-do\/","url_meta":{"origin":46692,"position":0},"title":"My boss appears to be a Christian, but she is awful. What should I do?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"January 30, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I work for a government agency. My contract expires next year.\u00a0 I have been under the supervision of a woman who has been in her position for over 25 years.\u00a0 She jokes that she will die in her office chair; she has no plans to retire. Her office is\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":24877,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/can-instrumental-music-be-used-for-worshiping-god-on-days-other-than-sunday\/","url_meta":{"origin":46692,"position":1},"title":"Can instrumental music be used for worshiping God on days other than Sunday?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"October 30, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I was also speaking with her regarding instruments in worship. She claimed that since it is only the first-day assembly, which is that worship was done together in one place, then to go to a place where they have instrumental music on a Wednesday night is not sinful. She\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":32327,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/should-i-quit-because-my-boss-insists-that-i-falsify-invoices\/","url_meta":{"origin":46692,"position":2},"title":"Should I quit because my boss insists that I falsify invoices?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"February 20, 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Please, my employer is always asking me to falsify invoices against my will, and I feel guilty about this. Please should I quit the job because of this? Please, I need your assistance. Answer: The simple answer is that Christians are not allowed to lie. It doesn't matter what\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":9036,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/why-did-jesus-ignore-the-canaanite-woman\/","url_meta":{"origin":46692,"position":3},"title":"Why did Jesus ignore the Canaanite woman?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"March 17, 2007","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: In reference to Matthew 15:22-28, this passage talks about a woman who approaches Jesus asking for help for her daughter. It appears from what she says that she was quite aware of who He was by referring to Him as the Son of David. My question - Why did\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":35637,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/is-it-wrong-to-divorce-my-wife-if-she-moves-out\/","url_meta":{"origin":46692,"position":4},"title":"Is it wrong to divorce my wife if she moves out?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"November 1, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I found out less than six months ago that my wife of two years was seeing another man. My wife and I had been together for over five years before I asked her to marry me.\u00a0 Before we were married she was in a short relationship with her boss\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":42943,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/how-do-i-assure-my-girlfriend-that-im-the-right-man-for-her-despite-what-her-prophet-said\/","url_meta":{"origin":46692,"position":5},"title":"How do I assure my girlfriend that I&#8217;m the right man for her, despite what her prophet said?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"June 13, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I'm a 28 years old guy who is dating a 22 years old girl, who just graduated with her bachelor's degree. We have been dating for nine months. I'm a Christian. We don't attend the same church. At the moment she is not getting along with me and she\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/46692","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=46692"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/46692\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=46692"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=46692"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=46692"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}