{"id":46611,"date":"2022-04-25T16:17:06","date_gmt":"2022-04-25T21:17:06","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/?p=46611"},"modified":"2022-04-25T16:17:06","modified_gmt":"2022-04-25T21:17:06","slug":"is-it-wrong-to-cut-ties-with-my-father","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/is-it-wrong-to-cut-ties-with-my-father\/","title":{"rendered":"Is it wrong to cut ties with my father?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\n\t

Question:<\/h2>\n

My father is an evil narcissist. I feel my life is in danger if I show up at his home unannounced because he has threatened me and then he apologizes when he feels good and ready. His words are routinely evil, piercing, and hurtful. He has said he doesn’t need a daughter like me. (By the way, I’ve been his caretaker and chauffer for decades.) Everything must be swept under the rug when he says he is sorry.<\/p>\n

He is bedridden and emotionally abusive. I have been yelled at and cursed out because he is frustrated with himself. He always had illusions of grandeur and a God-complex before his disabilities were a thing. I’ve done far more for him than he’s ever done for me as a parent. I don’t respect him as a man. He was always cheap, stingy, and thought the world revolved around him.<\/p>\n

Due to his abusive behavior, all his relatives, his two daughters, and other contacts have deserted him. Social Services checks up on him and takes him to and from clinics, hospitals, etc. I wanted to help him in his old age. I’m saddened by his life. I have repeatedly offered to bring him to church so he can be baptized. He led me to believe he would someday but it was all lies. He will say anything to get his way.<\/p>\n

My last response to his horrible treatment and perpetual gaslighting was to cut all ties with him indefinitely. We live almost two hours apart. I no longer reach out or believe a word he says. None of this feels Christ-like; yet, I cannot help but feel like he is reaping what he has sown. Am I being a bad daughter by not reaching out to him? I’m only asking because he can’t walk. Although he is set up with social services.<\/p>\n

I look forward to hearing from you. Thank you so much for your time. I am a long-time reader here and a member of the church.<\/p>\n\t

Answer:<\/h2>\n

Call him once in a while to make sure he is being cared for properly. If he becomes abusive over the phone, just tell him that since he can’t talk pleasantly, the conversation will end. Then hang up.<\/p>\n

Honoring your parents does not mean you have to take abuse from them. It means that you see to it that they are cared for in their old age. If a parent can’t be nice, then do what you can. Hopefully, over time he might calm down just to be able to stay in contact.<\/p>\n

See\u00a0How do I honor abusive, ungodly parents?<\/a><\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Question: My father is an evil narcissist. I feel my life is in danger if I show up at his home unannounced because he has threatened me and then he apologizes when he feels good and ready. His words are routinely evil, piercing, and hurtful. He has said he doesn’t need a daughter like me.…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[550,1509],"class_list":["post-46611","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-honor-your-parents","tag-parents"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":59016,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/how-do-you-be-around-someone-who-has-done-evil\/","url_meta":{"origin":46611,"position":0},"title":"How do you be around someone who has done evil?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"February 13, 2023","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hi, I've been reading through your website and have found your work interesting. I was wondering if you have some advice for me in a situation relating to my boyfriend and his family. Recently my boyfriend's stepmother filed for divorce against his father. Scripturally, both parties are in the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4460,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/how-do-you-honor-an-abusive-parent\/","url_meta":{"origin":46611,"position":1},"title":"How do you honor an abusive parent?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"April 3, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Well, I am not a\u00a0Mormon either.\u00a0(See earlier question.) \u00a0 My father is angry with me because I told him I thought that his buying a 34-year-old woman $209.00 in clothing at Nordstrom's department store\u00a0was not proper.\u00a0 My mother is in a home with Alzheimer and he is spending her\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":36067,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/do-i-have-to-have-my-abusive-step-father-in-my-life-and-in-my-daughters-life\/","url_meta":{"origin":46611,"position":2},"title":"Do I have to have my abusive step-father in my life and in my daughter’s life?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"December 8, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hello, I hope you can give me some good advice. I am a father of a young girl. My mom divorced my stepdad when I was a young teenager. He gave all of us a pretty hard life, my mom, my brothers, and sisters who are his kids. I\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":51502,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/what-do-i-do-about-my-abusive-father-in-law\/","url_meta":{"origin":46611,"position":3},"title":"What do I do about my abusive father-in-law?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"August 10, 2022","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Good morning! I'm writing you today because I have a question. My father-in-law is a preacher at a church of Christ here. I've known him for over 5 years now. I am really close to my sister-in-law and mother-in-law so they have told me some things that concern me\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3542,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/does-honoring-your-mother-and-father-mean-following-their-religious-beliefs\/","url_meta":{"origin":46611,"position":4},"title":"Does “honoring your mother and father” mean following their religious beliefs?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"October 31, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I was just reading\u00a0the essay on your website about \"honoring your father and mother\". I have been doing some research on the meaning of the word \"honor\", and I was wondering if you could answer a question for me, or just give me your opinion? Let's say that a\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":7869,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/do-we-inherit-sin-but-do-not-inherit-the-punishment\/","url_meta":{"origin":46611,"position":5},"title":"Do we inherit sin, but do not inherit the punishment?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"November 25, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: In light of Ezekiel 18:20, do you feel we are products of our fathers? Can the sin nature be passed down from our fathers to us? 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