I wrote to you years ago concerning my ex-wife, who divorced me for desertion while I was stationed in another country while in the military. She has since passed away.<\/p>\n
I’ve been a widower for years now and I’ve met a lady in the church. She has had two previous marriages, both, according to her, ending in divorce for cheating. I’ve no reason to doubt her as public knowledge has proved that out. My questions are:<\/p>\n
Thank you in advance and may God bless you and your work.<\/p>\n\t
Beginning in the late 1960s and into the 1970s, states switched their divorce laws to implement the concept of no-fault divorces. “No-fault divorce laws allow one person to dissolve a marriage without the consent of the spouse.” [“No-fault Divorce Laws May Have Improved Women’s Well-being,” About.com]. Prior to this either both parties in marriage had to agree to the divorce, or the person filing for divorce had to prove just cause to dissolve the marriage over the spouse’s objections. For thousands of years, marriage was viewed as a covenant relationship as taught in the Bible. “Yet she is your companion and your wife by covenant<\/em>” (Malachi 2:14). Today, that covenant can be dismissed at a whim. It is easier today to break a marriage covenant than for a business to cancel its contract. Let me put this bluntly: the no-fault divorce laws in the United States are in direct violation of God’s laws concerning promises, vows, oaths, and covenants.<\/p>\n Not that most people care, but it does cause difficulties for Christians trying to live under God’s laws while everyone does their own thing. The snag comes in trying to resolve what is with what should be. When the Jews, trying to trap Jesus, asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?<\/em>” (Matthew 19:3), notice that no-fault divorce wasn’t under consideration. Even those who thought any reason would do to file for a divorce still understood that some reason ought to be given. Today, a person can file for a divorce for no reason, and since no reason is involved, there is no need to prove that lack of reason is just.<\/p>\n This has caused a quagmire. In the past, the person who thought the other spouse was guilty of violating the marriage covenant would file for a divorce. Evidence would be asked for and examined and then a determination would be made as to whether the marriage should continue. Today, it is easy for the person who wants to break the covenant to file for a divorce. They can remove their spouse from any consideration. There is no compelling reason to solve the problem. A quick divorce is seen as a way to minimize long, drawn-out battles. In far too many cases, the innocent spouse is caught unaware of a problem until he or she receives the divorce papers. Hence, the filing of divorce has shifted from something innocent parties tended to file to something guilty parties tend to file to speed up their misdeeds.<\/p>\n Given this casual view of marriage by the government, it cannot be insisted that sexual immorality be listed on the paperwork regarding the divorce since the government has dropped specific charges for a generic “marital incompatibility” in its records.<\/p>\n In your case, you have her word and it was confirmed by others. Two or three witnesses are needed to establish a truth and you have those. You’ve done proper diligence and that is all that can be expected.<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Question: I wrote to you years ago concerning my ex-wife, who divorced me for desertion while I was stationed in another country while in the military. She has since passed away. I’ve been a widower for years now and I’ve met a lady in the church. She has had two previous marriages, both, according to…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[20],"tags":[167],"class_list":["post-45605","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-divorce"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":34297,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/what-should-a-woman-do-who-suspects-her-husbands-prior-divorce-was-not-for-scriptural-reasons-like-he-originally-claimed\/","url_meta":{"origin":45605,"position":0},"title":"What should a woman do who suspects her husband’s prior divorce was not for scriptural reasons like he originally claimed?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"August 16, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I have a very dear friend of mine who is afraid she may be in an unscriptural marriage. We are both members of the Lord's Church so we both understand what this means. She divorced her first husband due to adultery and remarried her current husband, who is a\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":17263,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-need-a-dumbed-down-version-about-divorce-and-remarriage\/","url_meta":{"origin":45605,"position":1},"title":"I need a dumbed-down version about divorce and remarriage","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"November 30, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I was wondering about a book called A\u00a0Review of Homer Hailey's The Divorced & Remarried Who Come To God\u00a0by Weldon Warnock. Have you read it or know the author? He takes a stand against Homer Hailey's, but I was wondering your opinion on it. I still need the divorce\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":9723,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/dont-consequences-still-follow-after-forgiveness\/","url_meta":{"origin":45605,"position":2},"title":"Don’t consequences still follow after forgiveness?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"May 11, 2007","format":false,"excerpt":"Note: I think this one came in response to a point I made about whether a spouse can claim to have forgiven his or her adulterous spouse, and then divorce him or her at a later time and claim to have the right to remarry. See: \"If a woman accepts\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":89171,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/my-wife-wants-to-separate-and-i-dont-know-what-to-do\/","url_meta":{"origin":45605,"position":3},"title":"My wife wants to separate and I don’t know what to do","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"August 12, 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hi brother Hamilton, I am a member of the church and have been reading the website for answers for a while now. I do appreciate what is asked and answered for things I myself had questions about. I find myself in a difficult marriage situation. My wife of many\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":31739,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/should-i-date-a-woman-who-divorced-her-husband-because-of-his-infidelity\/","url_meta":{"origin":45605,"position":4},"title":"Should I date a woman who divorced her husband because of his infidelity?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"February 12, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: There is a young woman who I'm interested in. Last year she divorced her husband because she found out through the woman he slept with and her friends that her husband was cheating on her. She said he also later confessed to her about sleeping around and that's when\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":24160,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/can-my-wife-or-i-remarry-after-the-divorce\/","url_meta":{"origin":45605,"position":5},"title":"Can my wife or I remarry after the divorce?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"July 30, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: My story: My wife and I are Christians. A few years ago my wife had an affair. I forgave her. But since that time I have been the spouse who has pretty much carried the relationship. I suggested counseling and suggested a closer walk with God. I notified my\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/45605","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=45605"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/45605\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=45605"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=45605"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=45605"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}