Hello,<\/p>\n
Almost two years ago I found out that my husband was having inappropriate conversations with women. I prayed for God to reveal to me what I needed to know. That’s when I spoke to one of the women that my husband was having an affair with last year. He insisted the affair stopped with that particular person but in my heart, spirit, and mind I felt that there was still something going on. I begged and begged for us to go to counseling with our preacher and wife. After a couple of months, he finally agreed.<\/p>\n
We went to counseling and attempted to work out our issues, but again I knew something wasn’t quite right. I asked God again to reveal it and He did. One evening while watching TV my husband was texting someone, but I received the text. These texts suggested that he was talking to another woman. He fell asleep, and I looked through his locked phone after figuring out his pin. I found out from that text and several more that my husband was having another affair, this time with a woman at his job. I confronted him and he admitted to me what had happened. I was so broken, hurt, depressed, unhappy, insecure, angry, etc.<\/p>\n
My question to you is: It has been nine months since I found out about the affair, but I have yet to forgive him. How can I forgive him and not be haunted by his infidelities? Sometimes I want to stay in my marriage, other days I want to run. I know forgiveness is for me and not him, but I find it hard to even do for me.<\/p>\n
Please help me.<\/p>\n\t
“Be on your guard! If your brother sins, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. And if he sins against you seven times a day, and returns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ forgive him<\/em>” (Luke 17:3-4).<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
You mentioned that he admitted his affairs, but you never said whether he asked for forgiveness or is changing his ways. If he is seeking to do right, then you are required to forgive him. “For if you forgive others for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions<\/em>” (Matthew 6:14-15).<\/p>\n
It appears to me that you don’t truly believe he has changed.<\/p>\n
If he is continuing to commit fornication, you have the option of ending the marriage. It is not required, but the option is there if you think he will not change. “And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery<\/em>” (Matthew 19:9).<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Question: Hello, Almost two years ago I found out that my husband was having inappropriate conversations with women. I prayed for God to reveal to me what I needed to know. That’s when I spoke to one of the women that my husband was having an affair with last year. He insisted the affair stopped…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_seo_schema_type":"","footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[20],"tags":[66,1571],"class_list":["post-45446","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-adultery","tag-forgiveness"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":38676,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/how-can-i-forgive-my-husband-for-his-adultery\/","url_meta":{"origin":45446,"position":0},"title":"How can I forgive my husband for his adultery?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"April 28, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I have been married for almost 25 years and found out several weeks ago that my husband has had an affair.\u00a0 I knew something was wrong but was too blind to know what for the past two years and sought Christian counsel to help me.\u00a0 One person asked me\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":29725,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/can-the-adulterer-marry-again-and-that-marriage-be-acceptable-to-god\/","url_meta":{"origin":45446,"position":1},"title":"Can the adulterer marry again and that marriage be acceptable to God?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"October 26, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hello and God bless, I have some questions that I hope you can address.\u00a0 I am a born-again Christian who has suffered through a divorce.\u00a0 This divorce was not my desire, as I absolutely believe in marriage vows and the concept \"until death do us part.\"\u00a0 I want always\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":34575,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-cant-make-up-my-mind-between-my-husband-and-my-lover\/","url_meta":{"origin":45446,"position":2},"title":"I can’t make up my mind between my husband and my lover","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"August 31, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hi I hope you may be able to help. I'm a born-again Christian for the last 10 years. Here is my anguish: I met my husband when we were both near 20 years of age. At the time of meeting him, I was going through an awful time dealing\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":17514,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-just-found-out-my-husband-had-an-affair-eight-years-ago-am-i-free-to-leave-this-marriage\/","url_meta":{"origin":45446,"position":3},"title":"I just found out my husband had an affair eight years ago. Am I free to leave this marriage?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"January 22, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I would like some more information on fornication. My husband confessed to me this morning that he had a physical affair with a co-worker eight years ago. He said it just happened once and he has hated himself for it ever since. His behavior so long ago explains a\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":31023,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/should-i-divorce-my-husband\/","url_meta":{"origin":45446,"position":4},"title":"Should I divorce my husband?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"December 23, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I am married with two children and one on the way. I recently discovered that my husband was having an affair with another woman. I am questioning if divorce is the right decision. 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