We are in a relationship for more than two years. She went back to her home during college vacation. While there she planned to go and meet her ex-boyfriend, who is also a school friend, to remember the old days. She went to his house to meet him, and they had sex together. Later she also told me all these things. She told me that her ex-boyfriend forced her to have sex and that he wanted her back in his life, but she didn’t want to go with him. She wants to continue the relationship with me. What should I do? Please help.<\/p>\n\t
I assume that you and she have been having sex since you say that you are in a “relationship.” If that assumption is wrong, please forgive me for drawing that conclusion, but I have been finding people vague about what constitutes a relationship.<\/p>\n
The core of your question is whether you trust your girlfriend. You know that she claimed that the sex with her old boyfriend was forced, but you aren’t sure.<\/p>\n
The problem is that, while you would like to think of your relationship with her as exclusive, it isn’t. There is no commitment or covenant that obligates the two of you to remain faithful to each other. You and she already violate God’s teachings by having sex without being married. “Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge<\/em>” (Hebrews 13:4). Thus, if she also sins with another boy, there isn’t much difference.<\/p>\n I can’t tell you whether the sex with her former boyfriend was consensual or not. I could see a boy thinking he could prove his love to a girl by a physical action — having sex with her. That sex isn’t love is something many people have a hard time grasping.<\/p>\n If you want a good relationship, then you need to start putting God’s laws into practice in your life. That means the sex has to stop. Then you will be able to focus on getting to know each other as people. It will also give you an opportunity to decide if you can be loyal to each other or whether sex is more important.<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Question: We are in a relationship for more than two years. She went back to her home during college vacation. While there she planned to go and meet her ex-boyfriend, who is also a school friend, to remember the old days. She went to his house to meet him, and they had sex together. Later…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[20],"tags":[149,1572],"class_list":["post-45214","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-dating","tag-fornication"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":38876,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/my-girlfriend-just-told-me-she-had-sex-with-her-ex-boyfriend-what-do-i-do\/","url_meta":{"origin":45214,"position":0},"title":"My girlfriend just told me she had sex with her ex-boyfriend. What do I do?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"May 21, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I am 20, and I am dating a girl since I went to college. She is also 20 now. Two days ago she confessed to me that she lost her virginity over five years ago with her ex-boyfriend. She had sex many times with him but said that she\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":43846,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/am-i-being-selfish-and-covetous-in-marrying-a-woman-who-had-a-child-by-another-man\/","url_meta":{"origin":45214,"position":1},"title":"Am I being selfish and covetous in marrying a woman who had a child by another man?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"November 6, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Greetings, I met my fianc\u00e9e last year and we became friends. We go to the same church. Later we decided to pray and ask God if we should get married and we did get confirmation. So we went to our pastor and told him of our decision. We are\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":16137,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/im-so-confused-my-boyfriend-and-i-broke-up-but-now-he-called-me-and-wanted-phone-sex-with-his-ex-girlfriend-on-the-phone-i-hung-up-but-what-do-i-do\/","url_meta":{"origin":45214,"position":2},"title":"I’m so confused. My boyfriend and I broke up, but now he called me and wanted phone sex with his ex-girlfriend on the phone. I hung up, but what do I do?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"August 23, 2008","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: My relationship with my boyfriend is crumbling. We don't live in the same state. We've never met face-to-face. But I've known him for over a year and I'm in love with him, but he is cutting me off. Officially we broke up, but I don't want it to be\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":5278,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/will-i-be-unhappy-marrying-a-girl-who-is-not-a-virgin\/","url_meta":{"origin":45214,"position":3},"title":"Will I be unhappy marrying a girl who is not a virgin?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"July 4, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Dear Sir, I would like to ask a question about what I should do regarding my relationship. I am having difficulty deciding on a solution. Also, please consider our culture and community's point of view. I have a girlfriend. We are both in our mid-twenties. We have been together\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":17140,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/my-girlfriend-isnt-a-christian-and-i-dont-know-what-to-do\/","url_meta":{"origin":45214,"position":4},"title":"My girlfriend isn’t a Christian and I don’t know what to do","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"January 1, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I have been dating my girlfriend for almost two months. We have now run into some problems with each other. I will admit that she is not a Christian. I wanted to try and bring her to Christ. Her parents are divorced and her mom has a man living\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":28696,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/did-my-fiance-have-a-right-to-divorce-his-first-wife\/","url_meta":{"origin":45214,"position":5},"title":"Did my fiance have a right to divorce his first wife?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"December 18, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hello! I really appreciate your question and answer site. I use it regularly when studying a specific subject. I have a question, and I believe I already know the answer, but I wondered what your response to my question would be. So here it goes ... I divorced a\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/45214","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=45214"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/45214\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=45214"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=45214"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=45214"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}