Hi,<\/p>\n
I’m a 15-year-old member of the church. My father has gone into drugs and adulterous relationships. My mother promised me that she would get a divorce and that she thought it was best. I have prayed and studied about this matter for literally weeks. My father has now tried to return to our home as if nothing happened and my mother let him back in at the snap of his fingers. Now she acts as if she isn’t going to go through with the divorce. I’ve ranted long enough, so I must ask how do I convince her to continue with the divorce?<\/p>\n\t
While the answer is clear to you, your mother is having a hard time because this is the man she chose as her lifetime companion. She is hoping against hope that this time he might change. While it seems clear that he has no desire to change, your mother has to fully convince herself that she has lost the man she dearly loves and many people have a hard time with coming to a permanent decision about such things. I suspect she thinks that if she divorces him, then there will no longer be a restraint on his actions and he will get even worse.<\/p>\n
You see things differently. Odds are that you are probably right. However, you can’t\u00a0make<\/em> someone do the right thing. This is why you’ve been losing your cool and arguing with your mother. You are trying to force her into a decision she doesn’t want to face. Angry usually arises when you are attempting to make something happen, which you really don’t have control over.<\/p>\n You’ve made your case. You need to be satisfied that you’ve done your best. However, the actual decision is your mother’s. What you can do is make sure you and your siblings stay safe and are not influenced by your dad’s drug use or sexual sins.<\/p>\n If you ever need someone to talk to, about anything at all, you are welcome to contact me. I’ll do my best to help, even if it is just listening to what is happening in your life.<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Question: Hi, I’m a 15-year-old member of the church. My father has gone into drugs and adulterous relationships. My mother promised me that she would get a divorce and that she thought it was best. I have prayed and studied about this matter for literally weeks. My father has now tried to return to our…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[20],"tags":[66,167,372,1509],"class_list":["post-45187","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-adultery","tag-divorce","tag-drugs","tag-parents"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":37926,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/am-i-wrong-for-moving-on-while-waiting-for-the-divorce-to-happen\/","url_meta":{"origin":45187,"position":0},"title":"Am I wrong for moving on while waiting for the divorce to happen?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"September 13, 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Good evening, Several years ago, my wife left me for another man. She now has a child with this man and has been living with him since then. I waited over a year, trying to reconcile with her, but my attempts failed. I have moved on and have every\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":12707,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/can-a-person-remarry-if-they-divorced-for-more-reasons-than-just-fornication\/","url_meta":{"origin":45187,"position":1},"title":"Can a person remarry if they divorced for more reasons than just fornication?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"October 8, 2007","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Can this person remarry?\u00a0 Her husband committed adultery, was addicted to drugs and became violent.\u00a0 She said the last straw was when he tried to catch their porch on fire and threatened to divorce her and take the kids.\u00a0 She said because of this threat, the adultery, and the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":32277,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/can-a-woman-remarry-if-she-divorced-her-husband-because-of-his-adultery-but-didnt-move-out-immediately\/","url_meta":{"origin":45187,"position":2},"title":"Can a woman remarry if she divorced her husband because of his adultery, but didn’t move out immediately?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"March 25, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I know a young woman who was repeatedly cheated on by her spouse. Yet, she forgave him after the first couple of times for the sake of the family. Later in the marriage, she suspected he was still cheating on her and had sex with a young woman with\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":20304,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/isnt-divorce-a-sin-so-how-can-a-preacher-insist-that-two-people-who-had-divorced-and-remarried-to-get-divorced-before-they-can-be-baptized\/","url_meta":{"origin":45187,"position":3},"title":"Isn’t divorce a sin? So how can a preacher insist that two people, who had divorced and remarried, to get divorced before they can be baptized?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"September 24, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: This one is about marriage and divorce: Everyone is confused about this.\u00a0The problem is a few people have been baptized and before they were baptized they had been divorced and remarried again.\u00a0I have heard preachers telling them to get divorced. I personally do not see how that would be\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":28227,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/do-i-have-to-divorce-my-husband-in-order-to-be-baptized\/","url_meta":{"origin":45187,"position":4},"title":"Do I have to divorce my husband in order to be baptized?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"July 28, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I was married to a man who would not make love, have sex, or be intimate\u00a0with me. He said he preferred to masturbate and fantasize about my sister, neighbors, and the neighbor's mother. This greatly distressed me. He was also abusive, holding a gun up to my head threatening\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":22082,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/if-someone-is-in-an-adulterous-marriage-what-happens-if-his-original-spouse-dies\/","url_meta":{"origin":45187,"position":5},"title":"If someone is in an adulterous marriage, what happens if his original spouse dies?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"February 26, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I've got a scenario concerning divorce and remarriage for you: Jack and Jill are scripturally married. Jack commits adultery, and Jill puts him away for adultery. Both of them remarry, but Jill dies before Jack does. Question: Is Jack's marriage no longer adulterous according to Romans 7:2-3, and\u00a0would this\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/45187","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=45187"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/45187\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=45187"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=45187"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=45187"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}