{"id":44878,"date":"2015-03-17T11:57:00","date_gmt":"2015-03-17T16:57:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/?p=44878"},"modified":"2022-03-13T12:00:06","modified_gmt":"2022-03-13T17:00:06","slug":"i-havent-been-faithful-in-my-marriage-but-i-cant-stop-thinking-about-what-my-wife-did-before-our-marriage","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-havent-been-faithful-in-my-marriage-but-i-cant-stop-thinking-about-what-my-wife-did-before-our-marriage\/","title":{"rendered":"I haven&#8217;t been faithful in my marriage, but I can&#8217;t stop thinking about what my wife did before our marriage"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\n\t<h2>Question:<\/h2>\n<p>My wife cheated on me in the first month of our relationship while we were dating. She confessed to me immediately. I know she was really sorry, though I myself was sleeping around at the time too. I have strong images of her confessions in my mind even after four years after the incident. I have not been faithful to her in our marriage over the last three years. Just recently I had an affair with a married woman I used to date while we were both single. I regretted it and begged God for His forgiveness. I also confessed to my wife who forgave me almost immediately. I had confessed to being unfaithful numerous times.<\/p>\n<p>My pain is that even after all this, I still think about what she did a long time ago even before we got married and I use it against her as much as I can.<\/p>\n<p>Please I need your help to save my marriage.<\/p>\n\t<h2>Answer:<\/h2>\n<blockquote><p>&#8220;<em>Therefore you are inexcusable, O man, whoever you are who judge, for in whatever you judge another you condemn yourself; for you who judge practice the same things. But we know that the judgment of God is according to truth against those who practice such things. And do you think this, O man, you who judge those practicing such things, and doing the same, that you will escape the judgment of God?<\/em>&#8221; (Romans 2:1-3).<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;<em>For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses<\/em>&#8221; (Matthew 6:14-15).<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>Forgiveness is not just some words to be uttered. Forgiveness is releasing a person from any obligation or debt to you. You claim you forgave your wife, but you&#8217;ve been lying since you continue to hold her past sin against her. This excusing of your sins because you see your wife as a sinner is foolish.<\/p>\n<p>If you want to save your marriage, it starts with you changing.<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Question: My wife cheated on me in the first month of our relationship while we were dating. She confessed to me immediately. I know she was really sorry, though I myself was sleeping around at the time too. I have strong images of her confessions in my mind even after four years after the incident.&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[20],"tags":[66,399],"class_list":["post-44878","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-adultery","tag-revenge"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":38963,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/my-husband-returned-to-his-first-wife-and-now-im-confused\/","url_meta":{"origin":44878,"position":0},"title":"My husband returned to his first wife and now I&#8217;m confused","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"May 24, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Good day, I have been separated for over a year from my best friend of over 10 years and my husband for less than a year, though legally we were married for over a year. He had been married once before to a woman who continuously committed adultery with\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":27369,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/am-i-doing-right-in-reconciling-with-my-former-husband\/","url_meta":{"origin":44878,"position":1},"title":"Am I doing right in reconciling with my former husband?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"April 28, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hi, Thank you in advance for reading and answering this question. I have a problem. I got married about 15 years ago to a man I'd been in love with since I was 17 years old. During the marriage, we had several problems, some physical and emotional abuse, and\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":20229,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/since-i-had-sex-with-my-girlfriend-does-this-mean-i-am-married-to-her\/","url_meta":{"origin":44878,"position":2},"title":"Since I had sex with my girlfriend, does this mean I am married to her?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"September 21, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hello brother. Thank you for the good web site and for the questions and answers that you have posted. I have a question and a problem that I want you to help me to solve. I have been dating a girl for three years. She has been really close\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":84250,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/do-i-tell-her-husband\/","url_meta":{"origin":44878,"position":3},"title":"Do I tell her husband?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"February 11, 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I am a married man. A number of years ago, I was dating the woman who eventually became my wife. At that time, I served in the church, but I had inappropriate conversations with a married woman in the same church. She sent me a photo that I asked\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":47618,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/my-wife-had-a-proxy-marriage-when-she-was-young-does-that-mean-we-cannot-be-married\/","url_meta":{"origin":44878,"position":4},"title":"My wife had a proxy marriage when she was young. Does that mean we cannot be married?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"March 11, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hello, I have been married to my wonderful wife for a number of years. We have a beautiful family! Before I met my wife she was in a proxy marriage. This proxy marriage was done so she could gain citizenship. She was a illegal citizen at the time. The\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":22336,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/can-my-girlfriend-and-i-get-married-after-committing-fornication\/","url_meta":{"origin":44878,"position":5},"title":"Can my girlfriend and I get married after committing fornication?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"April 6, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I have some issues I want to share with you so you can pray with me and give me some advice. I was searching the web for some answers on some Christian web sites when I came across your answer to a question that I had, and I am\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/44878","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=44878"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/44878\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=44878"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=44878"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=44878"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}