{"id":44865,"date":"2015-03-16T11:48:00","date_gmt":"2015-03-16T16:48:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/?p=44865"},"modified":"2025-04-04T10:03:52","modified_gmt":"2025-04-04T15:03:52","slug":"if-i-marry-the-man-im-living-with-ill-lose-half-my-benefits","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/if-i-marry-the-man-im-living-with-ill-lose-half-my-benefits\/","title":{"rendered":"If I marry the man I&#8217;m living with, I&#8217;ll lose half my benefits"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\n\t<h2>Question:<\/h2>\n<p>I married at 15 to get away from an abusive father. That husband had an affair with our friend. I forgave him and took him back. He did it again. I divorced him for adultery.<\/p>\n<p>I later married an older man who was divorced, who committed adultery many times. I finally divorced him.<\/p>\n<p>Fifteen years later I met a man, had a church wedding, and all of the glitter. After two years I found out he was still married and that meant I wasn&#8217;t married to him.<\/p>\n<p>I raised my children, raised grandchildren with autism, and took care of my mom until she died. It was over thirty years between the man I thought I married and the time mom died. I was single the whole time. After mom died, I almost did too. In a dream, my mom told me to get on with my life.<\/p>\n<p>Later I met this wonderful man who had been married to one woman till she died. Now we are living together and I believe it&#8217;s sin. I&#8217;m 60 and he&#8217;s 55, but he says God brought us together, and He blessed our union. If we marry we will lose over half our benefits and cannot live on what&#8217;s left. If I continue living with him, am I going to hell, am I going anyway because of fornication, or is there a way to marry in God&#8217;s eyes and not lose our benefits? I really was lonely or would have never slept with him, but if I&#8217;m going to hell anyway then I have nothing to lose except heaven. Tell me what I need to do.<\/p>\n\t<h2>Answer:<\/h2>\n<blockquote><p>&#8220;<em>Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge<\/em>&#8221; (Hebrews 13:4).<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;<em>Woe to those who call evil good, and good evil; Who put darkness for light, and light for darkness; Who put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter!<\/em>&#8221; (Isaiah 5:20).<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>I&#8217;m not impressed by a man who claims God approves of what God has stated is evil. I&#8217;m not impressed by a couple who values money over righteousness. &#8220;<em>Better is a little with righteousness, than vast revenues without justice<\/em>&#8221; (Proverbs 16:8). Nor is it impressive for a person to contemplate lying to the government.<\/p>\n<p>The simple answer is to stop sinning. Either marry this man or move out, but sinning is never an option.<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Question: I married at 15 to get away from an abusive father. That husband had an affair with our friend. I forgave him and took him back. He did it again. I divorced him for adultery. I later married an older man who was divorced, who committed adultery many times. I finally divorced him. Fifteen&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[1711,1572,655],"class_list":["post-44865","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-cohabitation","tag-fornication","tag-living-together"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":23910,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-married-a-man-who-was-divorced-because-of-his-adultery-is-our-marriage-ok\/","url_meta":{"origin":44865,"position":0},"title":"I married a man who was divorced because of his adultery. Is our marriage ok?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"June 30, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: What do you do if you are a Christian, have a second marriage, and realize only too late that it was not the will of God?\u00a0 My spouse was a called man of God, but he committed adultery in his first marriage.\u00a0He is no longer preaching, and I am\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":31558,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-committed-adultery-divorced-my-husband-and-married-my-lover-am-i-still-in-adultery\/","url_meta":{"origin":44865,"position":1},"title":"I committed adultery, divorced my husband, and married my lover. Am I still in adultery?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"February 2, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: My first husband committed adultery in our relationship through pornography. I also committed adultery against him, divorced him, and married the man I committed adultery with. The man I committed adultery with left his spouse to marry me also. My first husband died a few years ago, which I\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":27764,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-committed-adultery-divorced-my-husband-and-married-another-man-what-should-i-do\/","url_meta":{"origin":44865,"position":2},"title":"I committed adultery, divorced my husband, and married another man. What should I do?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"June 14, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I married in my twenties. We remained married for almost twenty years. I was the one who committed adultery and decided to leave my husband and pursue a life alone. However, I met a man, fell in love, and I divorced my husband and remarried. I am a born\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":37910,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-dont-know-if-i-should-marry-the-man-ive-been-living-with-for-the-last-six-years\/","url_meta":{"origin":44865,"position":3},"title":"I don&#8217;t know if I should marry the man I&#8217;ve been living with for the last six years","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"March 20, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I'm a divorced woman in my forties. I'm currently living with a man in his thirties whom I've been in a relationship with for six years. Of those six years, I was still married up until one year ago. During the entire time we were dating he asked me\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":39743,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/if-we-straighten-out-ending-our-past-marriages-would-we-still-be-in-adultery\/","url_meta":{"origin":44865,"position":4},"title":"If we straighten out ending our past marriages, would we still be in adultery?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"July 17, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I have seen you talking about adultery on a website answering questions. I myself have the same issue. I'm living with my boyfriend of\u00a0five years, and we have a child together. He is married to another woman, but they have been separated for ten years and he has not\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":37386,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-divorced-my-husband-because-of-his-drug-use-how-will-i-know-if-he-has-died-even-his-family-has-lost-track-of-him\/","url_meta":{"origin":44865,"position":5},"title":"I divorced my husband because of his drug use. How will I know if he has died? Even his family has lost track of him","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"February 26, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: OK, so my first marriage ended in divorce because of my husband's adultery. Then my second marriage ended in a divorce, the reason for this was because of my husband's drug use, alcohol addiction, stealing, and pawning everything we owned. I really tried to help him, but he refused\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/44865","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=44865"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/44865\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=44865"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=44865"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=44865"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}