I have been married for fifteen years and I realize that God says if I remarry, we would both be committing adultery. Since my first husband is still alive, I am willing and want to turn from an adulterous life.<\/p>\n
I was wondering, how does someone leave a marriage when everything is in both their names? Do I ask for a divorce that God hates? Do I just leave by gathering my things and just go? Do I sign the house, cars, etc. over to him and then leave? There are loans that are in both our names. How do I handle those debts? Do I leave him with them? Currently, I’m not working and only receive a small retirement check. I have a desire to do what is right. Where do I go with no family that would want me to live with them? I trust God and know He will provide, but do I leave all the responsibilities of the bills on my current husband? I do love him and don’t want to leave, but I can’t go against God whom I know I have to obey. Can you help me make wise choices in this matter?<\/p>\n
I separated myself from my husband and we have our own rooms. He understands my concerns but insists that God has forgiven us. But I think that if we remain in a sexual relationship. we haven’t really repented because to repent of adultery means to stop having sex with anyone other than my first husband.<\/p>\n
Can you answer any of my questions? Thank you.<\/p>\n\t
I am assuming your first marriage did not end because your husband was committing fornication. If so, your current marriage is adulterous because you are still bound by the terms of the covenant that you made with your first husband (Matthew 19:9). A marriage covenant is exclusive, so you can’t enter a second covenant.<\/p>\n
Yes, God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16), but that applies to your original, legitimate marriage. It does not apply to a marriage that should not have taken place. Continued adultery cannot be justified by saying you can’t end a wrongful marriage.<\/p>\n
I can only tell someone what God’s laws state. You got yourself into a sinful state if I understand your situation correctly. The proper answer is to end the wrongful relationship. But the details of how you accomplish that are up to you. Things like how debts and assets are divided are things divorce courts decide.<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Question: I have been married for fifteen years and I realize that God says if I remarry, we would both be committing adultery. Since my first husband is still alive, I am willing and want to turn from an adulterous life. I was wondering, how does someone leave a marriage when everything is in both…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_seo_schema_type":"","footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[20],"tags":[167],"class_list":["post-44792","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-divorce"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":2640,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/is-divorce-only-acknowledged-when-it-is-done-for-fornication\/","url_meta":{"origin":44792,"position":0},"title":"Is divorce only acknowledged when it is done for fornication?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"March 12, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: What do you think about this situation: Bob divorces Mary not for fornication (she gets fat, or ugly, or burns the cornbread). Bob and Mary have three children and she has always been a housewife with limited education. She begs Bob not to leave her, He leaves her and\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":41488,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/my-wife-is-leaving-me-after-only-seven-months-of-marriage-where-does-this-leave-me\/","url_meta":{"origin":44792,"position":1},"title":"My wife is leaving me after only seven months of marriage. Where does this leave me?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"January 8, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I am 19 years old and recently married my high school sweetheart.\u00a0 Now seven months later she wants a divorce, and it's not for adultery. Should I refuse to sign for the divorce?\u00a0 And if she continues with the divorce, without my agreement, and later remarries someone else, where\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":97824,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/is-it-scriptural-to-divorce-your-unbelieving-spouse\/","url_meta":{"origin":44792,"position":2},"title":"Is it scriptural to divorce your unbelieving spouse?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"September 8, 2026","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Dear Brother Jeff. Good day, and God bless. Brother Jeff, you answered me concerning a brother who divorced his wife, without what Matthew 19:9 taught us. This Sunday our brethren replied regarding the divorced couple. They reckon the sister in the picture divorced her first and second husbands because\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":15688,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/why-did-god-require-the-israelites-to-leave-their-non-jewish-spouses\/","url_meta":{"origin":44792,"position":3},"title":"Why did God require the Israelites to leave their non-Jewish spouses?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"July 8, 2008","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Could you explain why Moses gave the certificate of divorce? What I mean to say is when was it that God's people were required to leave their non-Jewish spouses? What were the reasons for this? I am looking to use it for an example of commitment and covenants, such\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2923,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/should-a-husband-leave-a-wife-he-cannot-trust\/","url_meta":{"origin":44792,"position":4},"title":"Should a husband leave a wife he cannot trust?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"July 4, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I have\u00a0written to you several times\u00a0and each time you have given me helpful advice. A little background: I assaulted my wife and later my wife had an affair. I have been trying to move forward in our marriage, but I can't trust her no matter how hard I try.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":18749,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/my-ex-husband-committed-adultery-but-i-didnt-try-to-stop-it-do-i-need-to-leave-my-current-husband-in-hopes-of-remarrying-my-ex-husband\/","url_meta":{"origin":44792,"position":5},"title":"My ex-husband committed adultery, but I didn’t try to stop it. Do I need to leave my current husband in hopes of remarrying my ex-husband?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"May 26, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I was married to my husband for over thirty years. We had both become unhappy, but I didn't know that he planned to leave me the day after Christmas five years ago. I had not been thinking of leaving, I just wanted some problems resolved. He left for a\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/44792","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=44792"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/44792\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=44792"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=44792"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=44792"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}