{"id":44654,"date":"2015-02-11T16:38:00","date_gmt":"2015-02-11T22:38:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/?p=44654"},"modified":"2022-03-13T09:28:40","modified_gmt":"2022-03-13T14:28:40","slug":"if-my-fiance-doesnt-repent-of-his-past-fornication-does-this-mean-ill-become-a-fornicator-if-i-marry-him","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/if-my-fiance-doesnt-repent-of-his-past-fornication-does-this-mean-ill-become-a-fornicator-if-i-marry-him\/","title":{"rendered":"If my fiance doesn’t repent of his past fornication, does this mean I’ll become a fornicator if I marry him?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Question:<\/h2>\n

Hello,<\/p>\n

First, I want to thank you for caring and taking the time to answer questions. My question is kind of half answered and also several in one.<\/p>\n

My fianc\u00e9 and I are divided on the issue of premarital sex. We have never done it, nor have I ever been pressured for it at all. My former reasons and wishes concerning it were respected. He, however, is not a virgin. In recently reading my Bible I have come to believe that sex before marriage is fornication, and that I cannot marry one who is a fornicator unless they have repented of it. Is this correct?<\/p>\n

It sounds strange that the question would only have come up recently; however, I was raised to believe premarital sex was bad but was never taught that it was fornication and had never dug into the issue further.  I have brought up the subject with my fianc\u00e9, and he is struggling with it and is not in agreement. He was raised in a Christian home; however, his father died at a young age and nobody ever talked to him about anything regarding sex. I feel terrible for it is being taken as if I am judging or condemning him for something he knew nothing about. Yet, the fact still stands that at the time he still has not repented of it. I believe that if we marry I will commit fornication. It hurts very much because I care; yet when I try to help, I seem to cause hurt.<\/p>\n

Any advice or thoughts on the situation would be greatly appreciated.<\/p>\n\t

Answer:<\/h2>\n

Fornication is having sex outside the bonds of marriage. See Notes on Sex<\/a> for details on the definitions and verses. Depending on its use, fornication refers to sex before marriage, but it can also include adultery after marriage.<\/p>\n

Fornication will keep a person out of heaven, as will any other sin that is not repented of. “Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God<\/em>” (I Corinthians 6:9-10).<\/p>\n

There is no verse saying you cannot marry someone who has committed fornication. However, marrying someone who thinks there is nothing wrong with having sex with people you are not married to will very likely cause problems in a marriage. It is the lack of restraint and the lack of respect for the marriage covenant that makes such a person a poor choice in a marriage partner.<\/p>\n

“The soul who sins shall die. The son shall not bear the guilt of the father, nor the father bear the guilt of the son. The righteousness of the righteous shall be upon himself, and the wickedness of the wicked shall be upon himself<\/em>” (Ezekiel 18:20). It is your fianc\u00e9 who committed fornication, and it is for his soul’s sake that he needs to turn away from this sin. You marrying him will not cause you to take on his sin — such is not possible. I’m positive that you did not learn this from your Bible.<\/p>\n

I will be happy to sit down and talk with your fianc\u00e9 about sexual matters and the Bible if he is willing to talk to me. I wish to do so because I am interested in his reaching heaven.<\/p>\n\t

Response:<\/h2>\n

Thank you very much for your reply and offer to help. I am still trying to decide what steps to take next and obviously do more biblical research as to what is right. I will let you know if my fiance wishes to discuss the matter along with you or if I have further questions, which is a likely possibility.<\/p>\n

Thank you again for not being afraid to address these types of issues as they are often frowned upon or overlooked by churches.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Question: Hello, First, I want to thank you for caring and taking the time to answer questions. My question is kind of half answered and also several in one. My fianc\u00e9 and I are divided on the issue of premarital sex. We have never done it, nor have I ever been pressured for it at…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[662,1572,50],"class_list":["post-44654","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-engagement","tag-fornication","tag-repentance"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":67427,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/can-a-person-who-committed-fornication-marry-someone-else\/","url_meta":{"origin":44654,"position":0},"title":"Can a person who committed fornication marry someone else?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"April 11, 2024","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Good day. I have a question concerning your answer: Do I have to marry the man I committed fornication with? My question for you is: Can the lady who asked the question get married to another person? If yes, won't that count as adultery for her and the man\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":69388,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/should-i-marry-the-man-ive-already-had-sex-with\/","url_meta":{"origin":44654,"position":1},"title":"Should I marry the man I’ve already had sex with?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"August 19, 2024","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hello there! I am emailing because I've been in turmoil this past month. Recently, I've felt that the Lord has strengthened my conviction to follow him. I plan on hopefully being baptized by the end of the year. My church is very Protestant; they believe in purity, and I've\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":28392,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/excellent-article-on-why-premarital-sex-is-wrong\/","url_meta":{"origin":44654,"position":2},"title":"Excellent article on why premarital sex is wrong","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"December 8, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Excellent, excellent, excellent article! I was feeling a little doubtful, (doubting Thomas mode), about why God had said, \"No,\" to premarital sex. I'd like to thank you for such a dead-on and solidly-backed explanation as to why it is wrong. Not only were you throwing out references in the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":12692,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/my-fiance-and-i-have-been-trying-to-have-a-baby-for-a-month-is-something-wrong\/","url_meta":{"origin":44654,"position":3},"title":"My fiance and I have been trying to have a baby for a month. Is something wrong?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"October 5, 2007","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I have a question: My fiance and I have been trying to conceive a baby since September. I've taken about four home pregnancy tests and all came out negative. I also have irregular periods, Can I still have a baby? Answer: I sincerely hope you don't become pregnant until\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":24552,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/is-my-fiance-a-real-christian\/","url_meta":{"origin":44654,"position":4},"title":"Is my fiance a real Christian?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"September 17, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I've been dating for a year, and now I'm engaged, but it still will take two years for us to marry. My fiance and I have strong sexual temptations, it seems like I have a lot more control than him. Sometimes it scares me because he seems to want\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":32363,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/is-it-wrong-for-a-woman-to-relieve-her-fiance-using-masturbation-until-they-get-married\/","url_meta":{"origin":44654,"position":5},"title":"Is it wrong for a woman to relieve her fiance using masturbation until they get married?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"March 30, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Praise the Lord. I read your correspondence regarding\u00a0oral sex\u00a0and found it to be very enlightening. Does this reasoning also apply to a woman relieving her fianc\u00e9 using masturbation on him until they marry? Answer: \"Now concerning the things of which you wrote to me: It is good for a\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/44654","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=44654"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/44654\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=44654"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=44654"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=44654"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}