Good evening<\/p>\n
I’m a child of God who knows the truth about salvation but backslid for many years. I met this man on a speed date. He is a pastor. He runs his own ministry with very few church members. At the time we met earlier this year I was so deep in the things of this world. We fell in love, until the 11th week of my pregnancy. I came to my senses, fearing God.<\/p>\n
He wants to pay lobola for me but he’s not ready yet in terms of finances. He is separated from his wife. He can’t divorce her yet because the paperwork isn’t finished. He can’t resist me. I’ve told him that I can’t visit him anymore because we are sinning. He keeps on begging that I should not keep distanced from him, he loves me, and he wants to marry me. He really loves me, of course, but there’s a lot I don’t understand about his spiritual life. He is not strong a leader and a man called by God. And he’s still married too.<\/p>\n
Please I kindly need advice. I’m praying to God for an answer. I’m striving to live rightously, even though I’m already pregnant.<\/p>\n
Thanks.<\/p>\n\t
I am always saddened by people who start their notes out claiming to be Christians and then follow it with a description of behavior that is anything but obedient to Christ. Please don’t misunderstand me, I’m glad you saw that your adultery was wrong. But you are portraying this man as something he is not.<\/p>\n
He claims to love you, but he wasn’t interested in you or he being righteous — and he remains that way. Love “does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own … does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth<\/em>” (I Corinthians 13:5-6). Yet, he would rather commit adultery. I would not be surprised to learn that the reason for his divorce is because of his adultery, not just with you but also with other women before you. After all, he was “speed dating” when he met you. He was going out with women he barely knew while he is married.<\/p>\n He claims to be a teacher of God’s law while violating that very law. That is a part of Peter’s description of a false teacher. “For speaking out arrogant words of vanity they entice by fleshly desires, by sensuality, those who barely escape from the ones who live in error, promising them freedom while they themselves are slaves of corruption; for by what a man is overcome, by this he is enslaved<\/em>” (II Peter 2:18-19).<\/p>\n If a man is willing to go against God because of his sexual passion and is willing to break his marriage covenant just for sex, what makes you think that he won’t do it again later?<\/p>\n This man is not husband material. He is a predator.<\/p>\n\t Hi,<\/p>\n Thank you for getting back to me. I appreciate your advice. I will consider it and keep on praying on it. I wish God to give me the strength to quit.<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Question: Good evening I’m a child of God who knows the truth about salvation but backslid for many years. I met this man on a speed date. He is a pastor. He runs his own ministry with very few church members. At the time we met earlier this year I was so deep in the…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[66],"class_list":["post-43568","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-adultery"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":35822,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/my-boyfriend-committed-adultery-and-is-now-divorced-am-i-doomed-if-i-marry-him\/","url_meta":{"origin":43568,"position":0},"title":"My boyfriend committed adultery and is now divorced. Am I doomed if I marry him?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"November 14, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: This is hard for me to come out and ask this, and I need this answer because I think my salvation is very important. I'm young and I mean 21. I have not been married and met a man. We have been together for about two years. He loves\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":36552,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-love-my-boyfriend-but-he-keeps-hounding-me-about-wanting-to-have-sex\/","url_meta":{"origin":43568,"position":1},"title":"I love my boyfriend, but he keeps hounding me about wanting to have sex","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"January 13, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I have been on and off with my boyfriend due to the fact that he isn't God-fearing. I love him so much and want him to be the one I marry, but I asked God for a God-fearing man. My relationship with God has strengthened so much. I realize\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":42317,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/would-god-forgive-me-if-i-left-my-husband-for-another-man\/","url_meta":{"origin":43568,"position":2},"title":"Would God forgive me if I left my husband for another man?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"March 25, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I am on my second marriage. Neither my first husband nor myself was faithful during our marriage. I cheated first. My husband now and I have been on ends for about two years, but I believe he has remained faithful. I encountered several men during that time. I gave\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":45575,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-committed-fornication-will-our-marriage-be-pure\/","url_meta":{"origin":43568,"position":3},"title":"I committed fornication. Will our marriage be pure?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"March 22, 2022","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Please help me. I have committed fornication with my boyfriend. We want to get married. Will our marriage still be pure? The boyfriend I committed fornication with is a married man. We both love God and don't want to depart from His ways, yet we have sinned. Currently, I\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":31571,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/can-a-husband-divorce-his-wife-ten-years-after-forgiving-her-of-an-affair\/","url_meta":{"origin":43568,"position":4},"title":"Can a husband divorce his wife ten years after forgiving her of an affair?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"February 2, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I want to help my sister in Christ. Situation:\u00a0 A woman cheats on her husband.\u00a0 Husband says he forgives her and stays with her for 10 years after the adultery.\u00a0 Over the 10 years, the husband never really gets over the infidelity. 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