I am having difficulties getting along with my sister, especially regarding our mom and her care. We just recently lost our father. My sister has been difficult in the past and is more controlling now. I now realize that it is best for my sanity if I take breaks away from her. I don’t want to be controlled! At this time my mom is declining, so it has been a tough road! I don’t feel my sister has the best interest regarding mom. It is not best for the current caregiver to be in charge of gathering mom’s personnel items, overall bills, valuables, and addressing the family concerns to her and totally leaving me out at this time! She knows of my concerns and currently does not care! As a Christian I want to know if would it be a sin, when my mom passes, if I don’t attend her funeral? I am saddened at this time, but I feel it is important to visit my mom as often as I can while she is alive.<\/p>\n\t
You have your priorities in the right place. While your mom remains here on earth, visit her often and see to her needs. Try to avoid squabbles with your sister. You state what you think is best and then leave it at that. I assume that you and your sister still live at home? I assume also that your sister is the eldest? Are you a minor or an adult?<\/p>\n
Not knowing your sister, my guess is that she is handling her grief over a situation she can’t control by trying to control everything else.<\/p>\n
Regarding inheritance, someone will be put in charge of settling your mother’s bills and distributing what remains of her estate. That person will be determined by the rules of your country. The best way to look at this is to expect nothing and be appreciative of what might come.<\/p>\n
Funerals are for the people who remain after a person dies. I know you would rather not go. I suspect that you don’t want the passing of your mother reinforced. But Solomon noted, “It is better to go to a house of mourning than to go to a house of feasting, because that is the end of every man, and the living takes it to heart. Sorrow is better than laughter, for when a face is sad a heart may be happy. The mind of the wise is in the house of mourning, while the mind of fools is in the house of pleasure<\/em>” (Ecclesiastes 7:2-4). Facing death keeps us grounded, reminding all of us that we have limited time.<\/p>\n Sure, you can skip the funeral. You will also likely make an enemy of your sister for the rest of your lives because she will always hold that against you. To spend time for a short while where you would rather not be will not hurt you. If there are events at the funeral that deal with things contrary to Christian belief, those you may skip, but be there for the rest.<\/p>\n “If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men<\/em>” (Romans 12:18).<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\t Thank you, Jeff. Your input means a lot to me! I need Christian feedback to keep me in check! Your dedication to helping others is a given gift by God!<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Question: I am having difficulties getting along with my sister, especially regarding our mom and her care. We just recently lost our father. My sister has been difficult in the past and is more controlling now. I now realize that it is best for my sanity if I take breaks away from her. I don’t…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[109,1505,1509],"class_list":["post-43316","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-death","tag-funerals","tag-parents"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":34072,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/my-mother-died-before-the-final-papers-concerning-her-estate-could-be-signed-should-i-fight-my-sister-to-make-sure-that-our-parents-wishes-are-carried-out\/","url_meta":{"origin":43316,"position":0},"title":"My mother died before the final papers concerning her estate could be signed. Should I fight my sister to make sure that our parents’ wishes are carried out?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"July 17, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Our family recently lost our mother and father. \u00a0My dad knew their time was short and was trying to get his affairs in order before he passed but wasn't able to do so. \u00a0My mother was suffering from Alzheimer's and passed a few short months after daddy. \u00a0There was\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":64103,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/my-moms-legacy\/","url_meta":{"origin":43316,"position":1},"title":"My Mom’s Legacy","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"November 17, 2023","format":false,"excerpt":"by Jeremy Dehut I've been reflecting on Mom's legacy. God has used her and Dad in incredible ways. Both of my parents came from broken homes where sin, abuse, alcohol, and other addiction was common. When mom was five her father died in a car accident he caused from drinking.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Article"","block_context":{"text":"Article","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/article\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":21843,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/should-i-just-leave-my-family-problems-behind\/","url_meta":{"origin":43316,"position":2},"title":"Should I just leave my family problems behind?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"April 24, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hi, I\u2019ve been trying to figure out what I should do with my mom. We aren\u2019t in good terms for almost two years now due to some differences we have in life and decision making. Last year, I decided to move out and want to live independently since I\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":7297,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/how-do-i-honor-my-parents-when-im-constantly-fighting-with-my-mother\/","url_meta":{"origin":43316,"position":3},"title":"How do I honor my parents when I’m constantly fighting with my mother?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"September 5, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I have a question about the article on honoring your father and mother. I am a mom in my late twenties. My husband and I live too close to my parents and my mother and I are into it constantly. I was just wondering does all of the honor\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":30752,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/im-trying-to-do-what-is-right-but-my-mother-is-spreading-gossip-what-do-i-do\/","url_meta":{"origin":43316,"position":4},"title":"I’m trying to do what is right, but my mother is spreading gossip. What do I do?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"November 25, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hello, I am a Christian. Here's the situation that concerns me. My family and I, including my sister who is involved in an adulterous relationship, lived together in one house. My parents and my sister are not Christians. However, since my stand in the matter, things at home started\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":53461,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/is-it-wrong-for-your-mom-or-sister-to-lead-prayers-at-home\/","url_meta":{"origin":43316,"position":5},"title":"Is it wrong for your mom or sister to lead prayers at home?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"September 14, 2022","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I know I Timothy 2:11-12 says that women cannot exercise leadership over a man nor teach him, but I'm a little confused. I've heard that this only applies in church or in schools, so some clarification on the wording would be very helpful. 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