{"id":43066,"date":"2014-06-29T21:46:00","date_gmt":"2014-06-30T02:46:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/?p=43066"},"modified":"2022-02-11T21:49:38","modified_gmt":"2022-02-12T03:49:38","slug":"did-the-paper-we-signed-make-us-married","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/did-the-paper-we-signed-make-us-married\/","title":{"rendered":"Did the paper we signed make us married?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\n\t

Question:<\/h2>\n

Hi there,<\/p>\n

Firstly, I have enjoyed the past hour reading through your well-balanced, Bible-based answers. You are providing a great service, and I pray that God continues to bless your ministry and your family.<\/p>\n

I have been engaged with a woman for over five years. Shortly after we met, but after many hours in communication and prayer, we felt God had brought us together to be man and wife. We wrote out and signed a covenant with God stating our lifelong commitment to each other and his will for our relationship.<\/p>\n

My fiancee had a young daughter, and I developed a strong bond with her and assumed a fathering role.<\/p>\n

Early on, my health went bad, really bad, to the point where I had several specialists involved and was mostly bedridden. This was the case for many years, causing financial hardship and a delay in marriage plans, partly due to the unpredictability of my sickness, etc.<\/p>\n

Recently, thanks to the Lord’s awesome healing, I am much better and am able to start work and plan a marriage ceremony. As my fiance cared for me while I was unwell, we lived in the same house and, shortly after, the same bed. When we moved to another city we remained living together, always committed to being officially married.<\/p>\n

I had been excited about my returning health and looked forward to marrying my fiancee. However, she now no longer wishes to marry me and is strongly committed to that decision. (I could try to explain it all, but it’s likely to take too long.) I’ve gone through desperate attempts to understand, to feel hurt, to feel that God’s with me and will help me through all this. Thankfully I am able to remain in regular contact with her daughter. I would rather say my daughter because that’s how I see her. There is no animosity between my fiancee and me.<\/p>\n

My question is this: where do we stand with God with regard to our marriage or commitment covenant signed before God with her leaving the relationship? I’m in the midst of packing up and getting ready to move, but I’m confused about where we stand with God due to the covenant and all.<\/p>\n

Please advise whatever you’re led to, as soon as possible.<\/p>\n\t

Answer:<\/h2>\n

See\u00a0Marriage Covenants<\/a>. While your paper contract had some aspects of a covenant, it wasn’t an actual covenant. You acknowledge that because you both never saw yourselves as married. You had strong intentions to marry, but it remained a future event.<\/p>\n

The problem is you began living as husband and wife without actually becoming a married couple. Nothing prevented you from getting married before, other than your fears about your illness. Now your fiancee has decided not to marry you. The pretense of living like you were married did not bind the two of you together.<\/p>\n

There really isn’t anything you can do about it. You have been committing fornication with a woman for years while you put off getting married (Hebrews 13:4). It takes two people in agreement to make a marriage. You tried for a solution of convenience and it didn’t work, but such is the nature of sin.<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Question: Hi there, Firstly, I have enjoyed the past hour reading through your well-balanced, Bible-based answers. You are providing a great service, and I pray that God continues to bless your ministry and your family. I have been engaged with a woman for over five years. Shortly after we met, but after many hours in…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_seo_schema_type":"","footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[20],"tags":[1572,64],"class_list":["post-43066","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-fornication","tag-marriage"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":41479,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/we-didnt-have-a-wedding-ceremony-am-i-married\/","url_meta":{"origin":43066,"position":0},"title":"We didn’t have a wedding ceremony. Am I married?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"January 6, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: My case is the same with\u00a0Am I married? but the difference is I am a woman. I knew it was wrong, but still, I already committed it with my boyfriend. Maybe I loved him or maybe I was infatuated with him. I don't know because he's the first man\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":19220,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/could-all-the-bad-things-happening-to-me-just-be-bad-karma\/","url_meta":{"origin":43066,"position":1},"title":"Could all the bad things happening to me just be bad karma?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"June 22, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I have a question about my relationship. I have three children out of wedlock by two different men. I am currently with my youngest two's father for the last seven years. My question is: I have always heard of karma. My children's father and I got together seven years\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":44609,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/can-i-be-saved-after-selling-my-soul\/","url_meta":{"origin":43066,"position":2},"title":"Can I be saved after selling my soul?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"February 7, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I read the article about\u00a0selling your soul. It makes me feel better but I am concerned still. As a child, I was saved. But I signed a contract in blood denouncing Christ forever almost a year ago. I was a dedicated Satanist. I was angry at God for my\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":39920,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-know-god-has-been-keeping-me-with-my-boyfriend-so-am-i-wrong-to-stay\/","url_meta":{"origin":43066,"position":3},"title":"I know God has been keeping me with my boyfriend, so am I wrong to stay?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"November 23, 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Praise the Lord, I'm an 18 years old Christian girl and am dating a Muslim boy who's 22 years old now. We have been in a relationship for two years now. We are deeply in love and are planning to get married after two years when I am done\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":41224,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/did-god-create-other-people-besides-adam-and-eve\/","url_meta":{"origin":43066,"position":4},"title":"Did God create other people besides Adam and Eve?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"December 10, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Mr. Hamilton, I have a question: Were there any other people on Earth at the time of Cain and Abel or at the time of Adam and Eve were created? Because the Bible says Adam and Eve were the first two humans created. However, in Genesis, after Cain killed\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":42451,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/should-we-marry-after-committing-fornication\/","url_meta":{"origin":43066,"position":5},"title":"Should we marry after committing fornication?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"January 28, 2022","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Good morning, I have a question. I am a Christian, growing in grace, I'm 26 years of age. I met a young Christian lady during the time I was asking the Lord who will go with me on this mission as a wife. 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