Hello,<\/p>\n
I am a girl who is in love with this boy. We have a child together. It has been shown to us and we now know that it’s wrong to have sex before marriage. We feel guilty every time we do it. We have tried so many times to abstain, but we keep on falling. We somehow get weak. We know of a Scripture that says if a man fails to hold himself he must marry, but it’s impossible for us now because we both are unemployed. We both wish to marry, so please we need some advice.<\/p>\n\t
“But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am; but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion<\/em>” (I Corinthians 7:8-9).<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
So often people try to excuse themselves from following God’s laws by claiming they are impossible, or at least very hard to obey. But in reality, it is the person who is putting additional restrictions on himself who is making the law hard to follow.<\/p>\n
For example, you are repeatedly committing fornication; yet, my guess is that you are living with this boy, putting temptation in front of you constantly, and then are disappointed that what naturally happens happened. It isn’t “somehow,” you start the sequence that leads to intercourse and aren’t able to stop the train. Yet, you are convinced it should be stoppable, never taking into consideration that you are trying to stop too late. Again, you make the task harder by trying to compromise and only go partway.<\/p>\n
In the same way, you placed a requirement on yourselves that you have to be employed to get married. So how is it that you are surviving now? How is it that you can’t survive in a similar fashion and be married? The cost of getting married is not high in most places if you are willing to take an inexpensive civil marriage. Too often it is the couples’ demand for a large wedding that drives the cost out of their reach, but God doesn’t care about material things — it is the exchange of vows before God and witnesses that creates a marriage.<\/p>\n\t
Question:<\/h2>\n
Thanks for the advice. We are both under parental help; that is how we survive living. I am still studying and he is done studying and applying for jobs. So in that way, we will have self-control.<\/p>\n
Thank you.<\/p>\n\t
Answer:<\/h2>\n
Then discuss with your parents whom you will live with as a married couple until you are able to get out on your own.<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Question: Hello, I am a girl who is in love with this boy. We have a child together. It has been shown to us and we now know that it’s wrong to have sex before marriage. We feel guilty every time we do it. We have tried so many times to abstain, but we keep…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[608,1572],"class_list":["post-42850","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-excuses","tag-fornication"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":49282,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/is-it-true-that-a-couple-who-commits-fornication-cannot-get-married\/","url_meta":{"origin":42850,"position":0},"title":"Is it true that a couple who commits fornication cannot get married?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"October 13, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I have had sex with the girl I proposed to marry. Now we are very close to our wedding. Her pastor became aware that we have had sex by virtue of her confession. She was told that I am not her husband and as such, can not get married\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":15684,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/did-my-girlfriend-and-i-sin-by-trying-foreplay-even-though-we-will-be-married-next-year\/","url_meta":{"origin":42850,"position":1},"title":"Did my girlfriend and I sin by trying foreplay even though we will be married next year?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"July 8, 2008","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hello, I and my girlfriend tried foreplay a couple of times, but we have not had sex. She is not just my girlfriend, she is almost my wife. I will marry her next year; this will surely happen. Also, I didn't have any sexual experiences before. I have gone\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":33053,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/do-i-need-to-get-her-parents-permission-before-marrying-my-girlfriend\/","url_meta":{"origin":42850,"position":2},"title":"Do I need to get her parent’s permission before marrying my girlfriend?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"June 1, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I read\u00a0the articles you had concerning \"Fornication\". The woman I am courting is a virgin. I on the other hand am not. I was disciplined by the Lord on behalf of my actions from the flesh when I was indulging in pre-marital sex. My girlfriend and I know we\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":78982,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/was-i-wrong-to-withhold-my-blessing\/","url_meta":{"origin":42850,"position":3},"title":"Was I wrong to withhold my blessing?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"November 17, 2024","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Dear Sir, My adult daughter is living with a guy twice her age. They want to get married, and it appears he wants my blessing. However, he doesn't have a vehicle, can't keep a job thus far and just started a new job a couple of weeks ago, doesn't\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":31209,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/my-husband-admitted-to-being-a-homosexual-i-didnt-divorce-him-because-of-the-expense-now-im-with-another-man-does-that-mean-we-cannot-have-sex\/","url_meta":{"origin":42850,"position":4},"title":"My husband admitted to being a homosexual. I didn’t divorce him because of the expense. Now I’m with another man. Does that mean we cannot have sex?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"January 5, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: After nearly twenty years of marriage, my husband told me he was gay, has always been gay, and had been participating in homosexual acts. Our marriage had been a troubling one from the beginning. We were young, not well prepared for our first child. There was mental abuse and\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":70138,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/did-i-do-something-wrong\/","url_meta":{"origin":42850,"position":5},"title":"Did I do something wrong?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"October 4, 2024","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hello! I have a question for you guys: Does having sex with someone makes you a married couple? If not, then am I obligated to marry the man I had sex with? I have a doubt in my heart that's been tormenting me. 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