I somehow made a complete mess of my life and I am hoping to get some perspective on my situation.<\/p>\n
I am 21 years old. I have been with a man for 4 years. I love him a lot, but I am no longer ‘in love’ with him. We are engaged to be married.<\/p>\n
Here’s a little background info on him and me. He does not believe in God. I was raised in the church but have drifted away. I still read my Bible, pray to God and try my best to please Him. My fianc\u00e9 and I have had pre-marital sex.<\/p>\n
At 17, I became pregnant. I freaked out, and I aborted. My abortion had a very negative effect on my life. I fell into a deep depression. I prayed every day asking for forgiveness. I now believe that God has healed me, although some days are still hard. I know God has forgiven me.<\/p>\n
Now, I have this connection with my fianc\u00e9 because we both lost our baby together (even though it was our choice). My fianc\u00e9 is my best friend. He hasn’t always treated me right. We fight, and he has put his hands on me in a negative way. And I always went back, even though, each time he pushed me, I promised myself I wouldn’t go back.<\/p>\n
Now, I met this guy, who is much older than me, but we had an immediate connection. We have been seeing each other for several months now. He makes me feel so special, he loves God, he is everything I could ever want in a man, and I could see myself spending the rest of my life as his wife.<\/p>\n
The question, I guess is, do I have any obligation to stay with my fianc\u00e9 since we have not married yet? If I don’t have that obligation, should I stay and work things out with him or leave? Things are not as horrible with him as they may sound. He takes me out, treats me well (for the most part), and I love him. I am just not ‘in love.’<\/p>\n
What would God have to say about all this? I really need some help. I’m sorry, my thoughts are a mess right now.<\/p>\n\t
The reason people date and have an engagement period is so that they can be sure about who they are choosing for a mate before they make the final commitment. Your fiance has encouraged you to sin and he doesn’t treat you respectfully all the time. This won’t get better after you are married, more likely it will get worse because he will no longer has the drive to impress you. You also have trouble settling your disagreements.<\/p>\n
If you believe you have found someone you would rather marry, this would be the time to make that decision. It will be hard to turn down your fianc\u00e9 after so many years, but if it isn’t working out, then continuing would not make sense.<\/p>\n
Meanwhile, I hope you will put more emphasis is getting back to following and worshiping God.<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Question: I somehow made a complete mess of my life and I am hoping to get some perspective on my situation. I am 21 years old. I have been with a man for 4 years. I love him a lot, but I am no longer ‘in love’ with him. We are engaged to be married.…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[28,662,1572,64],"class_list":["post-42424","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-abortion","tag-engagement","tag-fornication","tag-marriage"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":54271,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-caught-my-fiance-lying-and-now-i-cant-trust-him\/","url_meta":{"origin":42424,"position":0},"title":"I caught my fiance lying and now I can’t trust him","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"September 19, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hi and good day, My fianc\u00e9 and I have both been Christians for some years now; however, I strongly believe that he has a problem with lying. He lies and makes others look bad, and he looks like the victim. Accidentally, I found out the truth about a matter,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":37219,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/should-i-end-our-engagement-even-though-weve-sinned\/","url_meta":{"origin":42424,"position":1},"title":"Should I end our engagement even though we’ve sinned?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"February 17, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hello, I am a 25 years old woman. I met my fiance about five years ago as a friend. Eventually, the friendship turned out to be a much-committed relationship. He proposed to me for marriage. We have been engaged for several years. We have been postponing marriage due to\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":35497,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-really-messed-up-how-do-i-restore-my-relationship-with-my-fiance\/","url_meta":{"origin":42424,"position":2},"title":"I really messed up. How do I restore my relationship with my fiance?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"October 25, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hello, I am 24 years of age. I have been in a very serious relationship for over three years. We have had so many challenging times, but somehow we always pulled through. My boyfriend and I got engaged about a year ago. We are Christians, and he is such\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":57694,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/should-i-marry-my-fiance-who-is-not-a-practicing-christian\/","url_meta":{"origin":42424,"position":3},"title":"Should I marry my fiance, who is not a practicing Christian?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"January 6, 2023","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Should I marry my fianc\u00e9? My fianc\u00e9 and I have been dating for 7 years. I was 17 when I met him and living a worldly life (partying, drinking, smoking, cursing) I entered my relationship with my current fianc\u00e9 because he answered this question: \"Are you Christian?\" and his\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":40189,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/should-i-stay-with-my-fiance-or-go-with-the-guy-i-recently-met\/","url_meta":{"origin":42424,"position":4},"title":"Should I stay with my fiance or go with the guy I recently met?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"September 12, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Please bear with me as this is long. While searching for my answer I stumbled across one of your previous questions that were somewhat similar, so I decided to write you. I met my now fiance over five years ago when I was at a low point in my\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":24552,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/is-my-fiance-a-real-christian\/","url_meta":{"origin":42424,"position":5},"title":"Is my fiance a real Christian?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"September 17, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I've been dating for a year, and now I'm engaged, but it still will take two years for us to marry. My fiance and I have strong sexual temptations, it seems like I have a lot more control than him. Sometimes it scares me because he seems to want\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/42424","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=42424"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/42424\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=42424"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=42424"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=42424"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}