{"id":41998,"date":"2014-02-27T21:48:00","date_gmt":"2014-02-28T03:48:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/?p=41998"},"modified":"2022-01-14T21:52:37","modified_gmt":"2022-01-15T03:52:37","slug":"should-my-friend-marry-a-girl-who-flirts-with-other-men","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/should-my-friend-marry-a-girl-who-flirts-with-other-men\/","title":{"rendered":"Should my friend marry a girl who flirts with other men?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\n\t

Question:<\/h2>\n

Dear Minister,<\/p>\n

I really appreciate your website and the time you put in to answer all these questions.<\/p>\n

I have a friend who shared this dilemma with me. I wanted to get your opinion about it. My friend is in a long-distance relationship with this girl who is a praise and worship leader in a church. My friend has the password of the girl’s account, which she gave him a long time ago but she didn’t remember. Last week he felt that he should check that account. Even though it was wrong to spy, he checked it. He found in the chat logs that the girl’s last conversation was with a guy she worked with before. There was nothing much sexual but flirting, such as where he asked her to visit his place sometime and she kept sending him hugging and kissing smileys, etc. They both were talking on a webcam, and she also asked for his pictures. At end of the chat, she said “I love you” to the guy, to which he didn’t respond with the same answer but he did send a smile.<\/p>\n

My friend confronted her. She said there was nothing sexual between them, but she did visit his place once. Also, she said “I love you” in a pure manner. My friend is very concerned now. They had a fight before when he saw another chat with another guy as well, but there was no flirting. In the end, the guy said she is an angel for him. He had asked her to stop and forgave her, but she didn’t stop. He told that they can’t be in a relationship. They already have planned a wedding in June. He says that he can’t trust her when she knows no boundary and wants to call the wedding off. She pressured that if he won’t marry her, she will commit suicide. He tried many times to explain it, but she won’t understand. Even though he had an opportunity to have sex or other relations, he refused to do so. But she seems to be not taking it seriously.<\/p>\n

I would appreciate your suggestion so that I can guide him. Thank you.<\/p>\n\t

Answer:<\/h2>\n

That she is a female leader in a church already tells me that she is attending a denominational church that doesn’t follow the Bible closely (I Corinthians 14:34-37). That she would threaten suicide tells me that her faith is not strong.<\/p>\n

The problem is that she is an engaged woman who at a minimum thinks there is nothing wrong with flirting with other men. I don’t blame your friend for not trusting her and given that lack of trust, he should not marry her. Love is built on trust (I Corinthians 13:4-8) and there cannot be trust in a person who toys with other men and refuses to see anything wrong with it.<\/p>\n

My advice is to call off the wedding and if she threatens suicide to call the police where she is to check up on her.<\/p>\n\t

Question:<\/h2>\n

Thank you for the advice. I learned one more new thing about female preachers. So based on those words a woman is not allowed to preach in church? I attended a church where when the pastor is not present, his wife preaches.<\/p>\n\t

Answer:<\/h2>\n

That is correct. See:\u00a0Could you clarify when women may speak in church?<\/a><\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Question: Dear Minister, I really appreciate your website and the time you put in to answer all these questions. I have a friend who shared this dilemma with me. I wanted to get your opinion about it. My friend is in a long-distance relationship with this girl who is a praise and worship leader in…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[149,39],"class_list":["post-41998","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-dating","tag-suicide"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":49041,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/does-the-bible-say-anything-about-falsely-accusing-a-woman-of-being-a-prostitute\/","url_meta":{"origin":41998,"position":0},"title":"Does the Bible say anything about falsely accusing a woman of being a prostitute?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"June 30, 2022","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Does the Bible say anything about falsely accusing a woman of being a whore or prostitute? Answer: One of the Old Testament laws was \"You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor\" (Exodus 20:16). Lying was never considered to be acceptable, regardless of what the lie was about.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":23329,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/should-my-friend-pursue-a-relationship-with-a-boy-who-had-sex-in-the-past\/","url_meta":{"origin":41998,"position":1},"title":"Should my friend pursue a relationship with a boy who had sex in the past?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"May 10, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: This question is for my friend's situation: A boy recently started to pursue more-than-friends moves on my friend. She's liked him on-and-off for three years, but in those three years, he's had a girlfriend. She just found out that the boy had sex a few times several months ago\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":52667,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/has-god-forgiven-my-friend-who-is-living-with-a-married-man\/","url_meta":{"origin":41998,"position":2},"title":"Has God forgiven my friend who is living with a married man?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"February 15, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hello, I have a close relative who is in an illegal relationship. He was married, but he knew that the marriage was already broken. He was trying to fix the situation when he realized there was no more love in his heart for his wife. He then reunited with\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":38496,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/should-i-warn-a-friend-about-her-current-boss\/","url_meta":{"origin":41998,"position":3},"title":"Should I warn a friend about her current boss?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"April 18, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: My wife and I have been friends with a lady at church and worked with her over the last four years. Over the years I have become this lady's confidant to which my wife says \"back off.\" The lady and I have assured my wife that it's an innocent\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":27868,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/should-i-continue-this-relationship\/","url_meta":{"origin":41998,"position":4},"title":"Should I continue this relationship?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"June 30, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hello, I am badly in need of help. Please help me as I have seen your answers to queries on your web site. Here goes my story.. I am a girl who has fallen in love with many guys in the past. When I was in my teens, a\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":52616,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/how-do-we-deal-with-a-girl-in-our-congregation-who-was-raped\/","url_meta":{"origin":41998,"position":5},"title":"How do we deal with a girl in our congregation who was raped?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"February 12, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: A girl in our church had a baby not long ago but refused to acknowledge her sin and repent. She recently said she was at a party that she should not have gone to, and she was raped by two boys. None of us knew this before. 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