read Proverbs 7<\/a>). We aren’t children, and if we are, we better grow up. We can accept that God strengthens us to overcome temptations or we can essentially deny our free will. “I can’t help it” is not an acceptable position for God’s people.<\/p>\nIn my experience, men are often not very good at accepting blame and they find ways to push their weaknesses off on others. “It’s not my fault.” The spirit of Adam lives on, but God expects better of us. Self-control is a fruit of the Spirit, and we need to add it to our faith (Galatians 5:23; II Peter 1:6). If I lack control in my thoughts and actions, that is on me. Not you. Not her. Me. Remember, too, that it is those described as selfish and brutal who lack self-control (II Timothy 3:1-5).<\/p>\n
David didn’t blame Bathsheba for his sin, and Psalms 51 is a testimony to his taking personal responsibility for his actions. This is what we all need to do in the face of our own guilt. If we expect forgiveness to be personal, then we need to take personal responsibility for our thoughts and actions.<\/p>\n
Women are not depersonalized objects. They are made in God’s image and need to be treated with godly respect regardless of what they do, how they dress, and what they say. Men, we need to recognize our own sins, repent, and seek the Lord’s mercy without excusing ourselves based on what others say or do. When we do this, we are on our way to spiritual maturity.<\/p>\n
“But as for you, exercise self-control in everything …<\/em>” (II Timothy 4:5). May God help us to do this.<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"by Doy Moyer I’d like to talk again with the men here. Men blaming women for their own sins is as old as Adam and Eve. Literally. You remember what Adam did when confronted by the Lord: “the woman you gave me…” It didn’t work then and it doesn’t work now. That blame game gets…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[20],"tags":[774,487,772,354],"class_list":["post-41712","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-blaming-others","tag-men","tag-mens-roles","tag-responsibility"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":83038,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/why-didnt-god-rescue-my-friend\/","url_meta":{"origin":41712,"position":0},"title":"Why didn’t God rescue my friend?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"January 8, 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I am a member of the Lord's church and trying to help a coworker and friend. She has become dear to me, and we've studied the Bible a little. I hope to have more studies with her. She has somewhat stumped me with a tough question. She was sexually\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":28259,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/how-do-i-help-a-friend-who-is-blaming-god-for-her-mothers-death\/","url_meta":{"origin":41712,"position":1},"title":"How do I help a friend who is blaming God for her mother’s death?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"July 31, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: A friend's mother has died. The friend is approximately 40. She blames God for the death of her mother and is becoming more and more bitter about losing her mother. What can we share with her from God's word to help her? Answer: While I considered your question important,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":42056,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/my-girlfriend-and-i-broke-up-because-i-dont-believe-as-she-does\/","url_meta":{"origin":41712,"position":2},"title":"My girlfriend and I broke up because I don’t believe as she does","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"March 3, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: My girlfriend is a strong Christian and whereas I am a Christian, I don't exactly share the same beliefs as her. We recently broke up after three years because her parents wouldn't allow it. I respect her beliefs, and I have been willing to hear more about it, but\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":51015,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/on-stumbling-blocks-and-offenses\/","url_meta":{"origin":41712,"position":3},"title":"On Stumbling Blocks and Offenses","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"August 24, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"by Doy Moyer via\u00a0On Stumbling Blocks and Offenses\u00a0at Moyer Press and\u00a0Manipulating Offenses and People\u00a0at Moyer Press When Paul made his arguments in Romans 14, he spoke of never putting \"a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of a brother\" (Romans 14:13). This is one of the most significant ways\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":55380,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/shouldnt-a-public-sin-be-publicly-confessed\/","url_meta":{"origin":41712,"position":4},"title":"Shouldn’t a public sin be publicly confessed?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"November 5, 2022","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hello, brother in Christ! I am writing to you as this has been bothering me for months, and I'm still wondering how I would approach this problem. We have a sister in the Church, my close friend, who suddenly got married. I knew she had a boyfriend, but being\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":40801,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/you-wouldnt-believe-it\/","url_meta":{"origin":41712,"position":5},"title":"You Wouldn’t Believe It","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"December 17, 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"by Doy Moyer \"Look, you scoffers, marvel and vanish away, because I am doing a work in your days, a work that you will never believe, even if someone were to explain it to you\" (Acts 13:41). Paul quoted this from Habakkuk 1:5. In Habakkuk's context, the sins of the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Article"","block_context":{"text":"Article","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/article\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/surprise-300x200.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/41712","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=41712"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/41712\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=41712"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=41712"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=41712"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
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God judges those who would purposefully put stumbling blocks in front of others, but this is not what we are talking about here. Even if someone puts that stumbling block in front of you, you are still the one who takes the steps to trip over it (