Hello, I have a difficult situation that I need help with.\u00a0 I’m a member of the Lord’s church, the church of Christ.<\/p>\n
My husband and I divorced two years ago and we have several children together, one of which my husband is not the biological father, but he raised my child since he was a baby.<\/p>\n
My husband at the time falsely accused me of abuse and filed a TRO, putting me out of the house and onto the streets. I had not worked during our years of marriage and had no access to the money — I had never been on any of the accounts.\u00a0 Eventually, the TRO was dissolved, thrown out, but during which I found out my husband had filed for divorce months prior behind my back while we were still together — I had no idea.\u00a0 I was left out of the house while going through our divorce and was ordered to babysit the kids during his work hours. During the divorce, my husband split our children, putting my oldest child out (his non-biological child) because he was upset with me, leaving my child homeless with me, staying in shelters and hotels, and sometimes my car. My husband fought me for sole custody of our three children and he eventually got awarded sole custody.\u00a0 My husband did not want me in our children’s lives. At the time he was seeing another woman.\u00a0 In the divorce, I did get visitation but have decided not to do it because I was afraid that he would falsely accuse me again and also because I didn’t want to bring the children together and then have them torn apart over and over.\u00a0 So I haven’t seen my three younger children in over two years now. We live a far distance away. I talk to them every day and have tried over and over to talk to my ex, reconcile with my ex and get him to see the damage this has and is causing to our children.\u00a0 He won’t even admit fault and doesn’t see any wrong in what he’s done.\u00a0 I continue to pray and I have remained unmarried, single, and still faithful to our vows.<\/p>\n
What advice do you have?<\/p>\n\t
It appears to me that you are clinging to false hope. Since your husband filed for divorce months prior to you finding out and because he was seeing another woman, the logical conclusion was that he was committing adultery and thought he would marry this woman.<\/p>\n
I assume you lost custody of children because you did not have means of support. I am surprised that you weren’t able to get alimony from the divorce as well as partial custody of the children. But that is now in the past. Since you haven’t exercised your visitation rights, it would not be easy to get this settlement changed.<\/p>\n
If I’m correct that this divorce, regardless of what was said, is really about his adultery, then you would have the right to marry again if you so choose. But for now, I would suggest just focusing on getting your life back in order and seeing that your child is properly raised.<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Question: Hello, I have a difficult situation that I need help with.\u00a0 I’m a member of the Lord’s church, the church of Christ. My husband and I divorced two years ago and we have several children together, one of which my husband is not the biological father, but he raised my child since he was…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_seo_schema_type":"","footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[20],"tags":[167],"class_list":["post-41635","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-divorce"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":32277,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/can-a-woman-remarry-if-she-divorced-her-husband-because-of-his-adultery-but-didnt-move-out-immediately\/","url_meta":{"origin":41635,"position":0},"title":"Can a woman remarry if she divorced her husband because of his adultery, but didn’t move out immediately?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"March 25, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I know a young woman who was repeatedly cheated on by her spouse. Yet, she forgave him after the first couple of times for the sake of the family. Later in the marriage, she suspected he was still cheating on her and had sex with a young woman with\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3785,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-thought-my-husband-repented-after-his-affair-but-he-divorced-me-anyway\/","url_meta":{"origin":41635,"position":1},"title":"I thought my husband repented after his affair, but he divorced me anyway","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"March 29, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I emailed a few years back regarding my husband's while in another country in which an outside kid was born from the short fling. I didn't find out about it until after he returned and the kid was born. At the time he attended services as we're both members.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":92625,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/sin-within-the-church\/","url_meta":{"origin":41635,"position":2},"title":"Sin within the church","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"December 16, 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Dear Sir, What does the Bible teach when a wife sins against her husband first? She committed impurity (not immorality) with a younger man in the church. Afterward, the husband committed immorality with a younger woman who was a member of the church. The wife repented of her sin,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Article"","block_context":{"text":"Article","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/article\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":39991,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/since-my-husband-committed-adultery-in-the-past-can-i-remarry-even-though-ive-been-sleeping-with-a-man-before-i-divorced-my-husband\/","url_meta":{"origin":41635,"position":3},"title":"Since my husband committed adultery in the past, can I remarry even though I’ve been sleeping with a man before I divorced my husband?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"August 24, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I was married at 20 years old. Two months after our marriage my husband admitted to making out with another woman and asked for a divorce. I dismissed his request as being childish and continued with the marriage. After a year of marriage, he admitted to making out with\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2894,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/does-it-matter-who-files-for-the-divorce\/","url_meta":{"origin":41635,"position":4},"title":"Does it matter who files for the divorce?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"June 24, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: When you say that someone may divorce their spouse due to fornication, does it matter who actually files the papers? A woman I know moved out of her house, filed divorce papers, and then started dating another man. Her husband didn't know for sure if she was committing adultery\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":43635,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-cheated-on-my-marriage-can-i-be-forgiven-can-i-remarry\/","url_meta":{"origin":41635,"position":5},"title":"I cheated on my marriage. Can I be forgiven? Can I remarry?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"October 10, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Blessings! I have three questions: Will God forgive me because I committed adultery twice in my marriage with the same man and I was already a Christian? Can I remarry the man with the one I cheated on my now ex-husband with? We still see each other and talk,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/41635","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=41635"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/41635\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=41635"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=41635"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=41635"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}