I am a 27-year-old Christian virgin male who wants to wait for marriage for sex. I have struggled with maintaining sexual purity, however. I have struggled and been addicted to porn off and on since I was maybe 12 years old. I remember the first time I ever masturbated to completion, I felt so guilty, and I felt like I lost my virginity to an image I was lusting after.<\/p>\n
This struggle led me to webcam sites in which I have viewed women doing sexual things on camera. I have shown myself to them on camera as well.<\/p>\n
I am still waiting for my first kiss, which I want to have with my future wife. I desire to regain purity, and I fully acknowledge these acts as adulterous, sinful acts.<\/p>\n
I guess my question is: Am I still a virgin? I don’t want to play with semantics, but I have never physically touched a girl in a sexual way. I’m repenting daily and fighting daily for purity. I’m almost done reading a book called\u00a0Every Young Man’s Battle<\/em>. I haven’t anyone to really talk to about these things so I would please need your thoughts on this. There is more I wish to share, but I will wait for now.<\/p>\n God bless.<\/p>\n\t Masturbation is extremely common. One survey that Dr. James Dobson quoted said that 95% of all men masturbated. Dobson went on to say that he thought the remaining 5% were lying.<\/p>\n The Bible alludes to masturbation. It would have fallen under the category of uncleanness because of the ejaculation\u00a0 (Leviticus 15:16-18), the same as sex (in verse 18), or touching a dead body or a woman’s menstrual flow. It wasn’t called a sin, just unclean. For details, see: Is masturbation sinful or not?<\/a><\/p>\n The guilty feeling some boys feel after ejaculating has to do with a combination of assuming that anything pleasurable must be sinful since it is private, it must be wrong, and the change in hormones that come after ejaculating. For details, see: Why do I feel guilty after ejaculating?<\/a><\/p>\n This doesn’t mean you weren’t sinning; rather, you focused on the wrong element that was sinful. Like most people, it is easier to focus on the tangible than the intangible. The sin you have been involved in is pornography. “For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you should abstain from sexual immorality; that each of you should know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, not in passion of lust, like the Gentiles who do not know God<\/em>” (I Thessalonians 4:3-5). “Passion of lust” refers to lustful things that are designed to arouse passion in a person, and pornography would definitely fall under that category. Though you understand it is wrong, I would like you to read Lies Pornography Tells Men<\/a>\u00a0and also\u00a0A Look at Pornography<\/a>.<\/p>\n What you did with your webcam is create your own pornography in real time. But it also illustrates what Paul discussed: “But fornication and all uncleanness or covetousness, let it not even be named among you, as is fitting for saints; neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor coarse jesting, which are not fitting, but rather giving of thanks. For this you know, that no fornicator, unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God. Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience. Therefore do not be partakers with them<\/em>” (Ephesians 5:3-7). Even though you were not committing the actual act of fornication, you were involved in talking about doing it and showing off your nakedness. You were definitely involved in lust and behaving in a lewd manner. “Let us walk properly, as in the day, not in revelry and drunkenness, not in lewdness and lust, not in strife and envy. But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to fulfill its lusts”<\/em>\u00a0(Romans 13:13-14).<\/p>\n You’ve been trying to get out of these sins but failing often, and I believe I can guess why. Like most young men, you’ve strongly associated pornography with ejaculating; therefore, you try to quit pornography by stopping all ejaculations. However, for males, this cannot work because the male body has to ejaculate semen once in a while. See: I want to stop masturbating, but the desire is too strong<\/a>\u00a0and\u00a0How do I stop masturbating?<\/a><\/p>\n You are still a virgin because you have not had sex with another person. That doesn’t mean you haven’t sinned or that you don’t need to do something about your sins.<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Question: I am a 27-year-old Christian virgin male who wants to wait for marriage for sex. I have struggled with maintaining sexual purity, however. I have struggled and been addicted to porn off and on since I was maybe 12 years old. I remember the first time I ever masturbated to completion, I felt so…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[171,226,443,770],"class_list":["post-41599","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-masturbation","tag-pornography","tag-sexting","tag-sexual-talk"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":41966,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/do-i-need-to-tell-future-boyfriends-that-i-sinned-sexually-in-the-past\/","url_meta":{"origin":41599,"position":0},"title":"Do I need to tell future boyfriends that I sinned sexually in the past?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"February 25, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hi, I am 29 years old. I came to know Jesus when I was 15. I have waited almost half of my life to have a boyfriend because I don't want to miss God's plan for my life. However, I met a guy who has a different faith, and\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":8133,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/are-you-still-a-virgin-after-anal-sex\/","url_meta":{"origin":41599,"position":1},"title":"Are you still a virgin after anal sex?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"January 16, 2007","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Are you still a virgin if you have anal sex? I am a 14-year-old teenager (and still a virgin). A boy I know told me that he had anal sex with a girl. But not in her vagina and he said it only lasted for a couple of seconds\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":29441,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/am-i-still-a-virgin-after-giving-oral-sex\/","url_meta":{"origin":41599,"position":2},"title":"Am I still a virgin after giving oral sex?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"October 6, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I had oral sex twice, but both times it wasn't sexual at all. My intention wasn't to please him. I panicked and did it. And being that I was sexually abused a lot of things cause me to panic, but I should have never put myself in that situation\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":37801,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-teach-students-about-sexual-purity-but-i-fell-to-sexual-sin-what-do-i-do\/","url_meta":{"origin":41599,"position":3},"title":"I teach students about sexual purity, but I fell to sexual sin. What do I do?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"March 14, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I'm glad I came across your website. I am a born-again believer who God has used to become a blessing to many students in the area of sexual purity. I am in a situation that I would require your advice. Last year, I met a female friend while working\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":7256,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/a-thank-you-for-publishing-material-on-sexual-purity\/","url_meta":{"origin":41599,"position":4},"title":"A thank you for publishing material on sexual purity","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"September 3, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I just wanted to take the time to cheer on your mission!\u00a0 I am a young woman going into my first year of college.\u00a0 I come from a religious family that believes in being pure until marriage.\u00a0 I just wanted to commend your church for putting this out on\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":42102,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-really-regret-not-being-a-virgin-anymore\/","url_meta":{"origin":41599,"position":5},"title":"I really regret not being a virgin anymore","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"March 8, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I found your site a few weeks ago and quite frankly I wish I had come upon it sooner, especially regarding sexual purity. I was 18 when I \"invited Jesus into my heart.\" However, I was filled with lust, having no regard for fleeing sexual immorality. I didn't seek\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/41599","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=41599"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/41599\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=41599"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=41599"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=41599"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}Answer:<\/h2>\n