{"id":41592,"date":"2014-01-16T20:17:00","date_gmt":"2014-01-17T02:17:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/?p=41592"},"modified":"2022-01-08T20:21:15","modified_gmt":"2022-01-09T02:21:15","slug":"what-more-can-i-do-for-my-ex-wife-who-lost-a-child","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/what-more-can-i-do-for-my-ex-wife-who-lost-a-child\/","title":{"rendered":"What more can I do for my ex-wife who lost a child?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\n\t<h2>Question:<\/h2>\n<p>Good afternoon Brother Hamilton and all the brethren at the La Vista congregation.\u00a0 I&#8217;m hoping you can offer me some guidance on a complicated issue:<\/p>\n<p>My former wife&#8217;s son recently died in a very tragic fashion.\u00a0 He and I had a great relationship while his mother and I were married and maintained occasional contact following our divorce.\u00a0 My former wife and I don&#8217;t have any kind of relationship at this point, but she&#8217;s long since forgiven me for my failures as a husband and we are cordial when we do see or have the rare opportunity to communicate with one another.<\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;ve texted her a few times since the death of her son, mostly to see how she and the other children are holding up and to offer all the support I can.\u00a0 I&#8217;ve offered her (and the kids) to call me at any time if they want to talk, vent, or anything else.\u00a0 What I&#8217;m wondering is, how far should I go with my support and concern?\u00a0 She asked that I keep her in prayer (and obviously I&#8217;ve solicited much prayer for her) and said that she&#8217;d call me at some point.<\/p>\n<p>My love for her has never dissipated, but I&#8217;m more concerned for her as a grieving mother and sister in Christ.\u00a0 If it&#8217;s the Lord&#8217;s will for us to reconcile at any point, then it will happen, but that&#8217;s not even a part of my thought process right now, and I don&#8217;t want her to feel that I have any ulterior motives.<\/p>\n<p>I hurt for her and the kids and feel like I should be doing more than sending texts but don&#8217;t want to overstep any boundaries.\u00a0 I also don&#8217;t want to make an already painful situation worse by seeming too pushy with wanting to help.\u00a0 She&#8217;s said to me that only God can help her through this, and I know absolutely that she&#8217;s correct, but from the perspective of her former husband, stepfather to her children, and just concern in general, I want to know what I could or should be doing to help right now.<\/p>\n<p>Any insight is greatly appreciated.\u00a0 God bless you, keep up the outstanding work your doing on behalf of our Lord, and thank you very much.<\/p>\n\t<h2>Answer:<\/h2>\n<p>Dealing with death is always hard. I&#8217;m sorry for you and your former wife&#8217;s loss. It sounds to me that you have done a lot already. Keep your ears open for small things you can do to ease their burdens. It can be as simple as polishing everyone&#8217;s shoes for the funeral, bringing breakfast that morning, or dinner that night so they don&#8217;t have to worry about small matters.<\/p>\n<p>She knows you care. You&#8217;ve offered what you could. Now it is time to wait and see if she wants your help or not.<\/p>\n\t<h2>Response:<\/h2>\n<p>Good morning brother Hamilton. Thank you for your response, which is greatly appreciated. I&#8217;ll keep all of it in mind and just be available if needed. Have a great day, and, again, please keep up the great work on our Lord&#8217;s behalf.<\/p>\n<p>God bless.<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Question: Good afternoon Brother Hamilton and all the brethren at the La Vista congregation.\u00a0 I&#8217;m hoping you can offer me some guidance on a complicated issue: My former wife&#8217;s son recently died in a very tragic fashion.\u00a0 He and I had a great relationship while his mother and I were married and maintained occasional contact&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_seo_schema_type":"","footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[20],"tags":[109,652],"class_list":["post-41592","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-death","tag-grief"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":40389,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-told-my-wife-i-had-inappropriate-conversations-with-a-woman-but-i-didnt-mention-i-had-sex-with-her-my-wife-thinks-im-lying-must-i-tell-her-everything\/","url_meta":{"origin":41592,"position":0},"title":"I told my wife I had inappropriate conversations with a woman, but I didn&#8217;t mention I had sex with her. My wife thinks I&#8217;m lying. Must I tell her everything?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"September 23, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I've confessed to my wife for having inappropriate conversations with a woman in church five years ago.\u00a0 Now what I haven't told her is that I had a sexual relationship with her.\u00a0 She has asked if I kissed or had sex with her and I chose not to answer\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":44128,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/should-i-move-on-and-let-this-man-repair-his-family\/","url_meta":{"origin":41592,"position":1},"title":"Should I move on and let this man repair his family?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"December 5, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Good day, sir! I'd like to thank you in advance for reading my letter. I've been quite troubled over my current situation and I hope you can offer me some advice. My guy and I have been together for some time now, and I've had hopes for an impending\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":18408,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/can-i-marry-the-brother-of-a-man-with-whom-i-had-committed-adultery-15-years-ago\/","url_meta":{"origin":41592,"position":2},"title":"Can I marry the brother of a man with whom I had committed adultery 15 years ago?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"April 15, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I entered into a long-distance relationship with a man who happens to be the brother of someone with whom I had sexual relationships with more than 15 years ago. I was never married to the man, although we lived together for a couple of months. We lived in adultery\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":47110,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/how-do-we-handle-the-mother-of-my-fiancees-former-boyfriend\/","url_meta":{"origin":41592,"position":3},"title":"How do we handle the mother of my fianc\u00e9e&#8217;s former boyfriend?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"February 8, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hello, My fianc\u00e9e and I are getting married soon.\u00a0 Recently, her grandfather has been going through trouble with cancer.\u00a0 It has brought up a few encouraging text messages. Here's where my problem begins.\u00a0 One of the encouraging texts comes repetitively from the same person.\u00a0 That person is the mother\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":16370,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/im-thinking-of-divorcing-my-wife-because-she-is-bipolar-and-a-gambler-what-do-you-think\/","url_meta":{"origin":41592,"position":4},"title":"I&#8217;m thinking of divorcing my wife because she is bipolar and a gambler. What do you think?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"September 14, 2008","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I have an unusual problem.\u00a0 The wife and I got married and divorced seven years later.\u00a0 We got married again after another four years.\u00a0 I want a divorce.\u00a0 Besides, not ever having sex with my wife since we got married the second time, my wife is bipolar.\u00a0 But, more\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":39006,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/should-i-leave-my-wife-because-i-got-her-pregnant-before-we-were-married\/","url_meta":{"origin":41592,"position":5},"title":"Should I leave my wife because I got her pregnant before we were married?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"May 26, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I have a question about marriage. I'm going to start off on how my wife and I came together so you know the whole story. A small group of friends and I used to go out to eat after church on Wednesday nights. I met this one girl who\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/41592","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=41592"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/41592\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=41592"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=41592"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=41592"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}