Hey,<\/p>\n
I’m a brother in the church, I’m 21 and I’m a virgin. I am struggling far as thoughts, urges, etc. It’s getting harder each year to contain. Each year the urge gets stronger. I have a girlfriend, she is in the church. She is a great help to the church, and she encourages me in all aspects especially keeping my virginity. I really care for her, and I can see myself marrying her. We have been together for almost a year. To sum all this up, should I marry her because my urges are getting stronger plus I can see myself this sister?<\/p>\n\t
“But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am; but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion<\/em>” (I Corinthians 7:8-9).<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Paul was urging Christians to hold off on getting married because of the upcoming persecution (I Corinthians 7:26). It wasn’t wrong to get married, it was only going to be harder on the married Christians to remain faithful. However, I want to point out that Paul is assuming that he is talking to couples who have decided to marry but are considering putting it off because of Paul’s advice.<\/p>\n
This is not quite the same case with you. Yes, given a choice between marrying earlier versus committing some kind of sexual sin, marrying is by far the better choice. But I also don’t want you rushing things just because you are sexually aroused. People are notoriously poor thinkers when they are aroused.<\/p>\n
If you really, truly love this woman for who she is and she you in turn, then by all means ask her to marry you. But realize too that this means you have to double your guard. Just because you are intending to get married, or even when it gets to the point that you will be getting married in a few weeks, it is no excuse to drop your pants. Believe me, I remember those days. The temptation can get really strong. What helps is to remember that it isn’t forever and that you can hold out. Plus, you know you will be happy to look back and know that you kept your commitment to God and honored your wife by putting her dignity (and yours) first.<\/p>\n\t
Response:<\/h2>\n
Thanks, brother, for the wisdom. This has really helped me. If the issue continues to bother me, I’ll contact you again.<\/p>\n
Thanks again.<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Question: Hey, I’m a brother in the church, I’m 21 and I’m a virgin. I am struggling far as thoughts, urges, etc. It’s getting harder each year to contain. Each year the urge gets stronger. I have a girlfriend, she is in the church. She is a great help to the church, and she encourages…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[20],"tags":[149,64,185],"class_list":["post-41543","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-dating","tag-marriage","tag-temptation"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":20229,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/since-i-had-sex-with-my-girlfriend-does-this-mean-i-am-married-to-her\/","url_meta":{"origin":41543,"position":0},"title":"Since I had sex with my girlfriend, does this mean I am married to her?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"September 21, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hello brother. Thank you for the good web site and for the questions and answers that you have posted. I have a question and a problem that I want you to help me to solve. I have been dating a girl for three years. She has been really close\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":60134,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/how-do-i-help-my-girlfriend-see-the-importance-of-pure-worship\/","url_meta":{"origin":41543,"position":1},"title":"How do I help my girlfriend see the importance of pure worship?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"March 31, 2023","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I grew up in the church of Christ and my girlfriend grew up with a Baptist denominational background. When we started dating, she began coming to church with me. 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I have gone\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":34345,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/before-becoming-a-christian-i-committed-fornication-many-times-my-preacher-says-i-need-to-wait-before-getting-married-isnt-it-better-to-marry-now\/","url_meta":{"origin":41543,"position":3},"title":"Before becoming a Christian, I committed fornication many times. My preacher says I need to wait before getting married. Isn’t it better to marry now?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"August 7, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Greetings in the name of Jesus Christ. I write this e-mail with great shame over myself. I committed fornication with a girl who was not my girlfriend and got her pregnant. The girl whom I got pregnant knew that I already had a girlfriend whom I was planning to\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":42943,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/how-do-i-assure-my-girlfriend-that-im-the-right-man-for-her-despite-what-her-prophet-said\/","url_meta":{"origin":41543,"position":4},"title":"How do I assure my girlfriend that I’m the right man for her, despite what her prophet said?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"June 13, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I'm a 28 years old guy who is dating a 22 years old girl, who just graduated with her bachelor's degree. We have been dating for nine months. I'm a Christian. We don't attend the same church. At the moment she is not getting along with me and she\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":7238,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/does-getting-a-girl-pregnant-and-promising-to-marry-her-later-make-us-married\/","url_meta":{"origin":41543,"position":5},"title":"Does getting a girl pregnant and promising to marry her later make us married?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"August 10, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hello, I was baptized in the Catholic Church. I had a girlfriend, with whom I had dry-humped. Two weeks before having sexual intercourse, I told her that I was thinking about break up with her because I didn't feel we should be together. 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