I have been married for ten years, and they have children. Throughout the marriage, my husband has been in one affair after another. From the beginning of our marriage he cheated; in addition to abandoning me and the children for days and sometimes weeks on end, going so far as to bring his mistress to our daughter’s birthday party in my presence. I did leave him and walked away from the home we were buying to live with my mother and get healing. He did not keep up with the home when I left and ended up losing the home. He then came to live with me at my mother’s house. After some time he got on his feet and moved out and I moved into my own place. He got evicted from that apartment and went to live with my mother again.<\/p>\n
During this time I ended up giving him a little over $4000 over a span of time to help him with his bills. His car is in my name, his insurance, etc. He once again got on his feet and moved out into his own apartment. I moved into a house with our three children. He once again got evicted from this apartment and has gone to live with my mother again, paying her rent and dropping her off at work.<\/p>\n
In the meantime he does not pay child support, he refuses to pay me back the money he owes me, and he does nothing for his children except paying for the youngest child’s daycare. He has a gas and electric bill in my name for over $1000 and the power company is threatening to cut off my services. I pay rent, gas and electricity, care and upkeep for our children, etc. His family has nothing to do with me, his mother does not even know our children; so I cannot even go to them for help with the children. (Expenses, babysitting, child care, pick-ups, sleepovers, holidays, etc.) While he pays my mother rent, he is rarely there now except to take showers, get his clothes, and eat dinner because he stays with his girlfriend and her children most times. He will sometimes act pleasant but that is only when he has lost his job or is down on his luck. Once he gets back on his feet he is mean, rude, and verbally abusive.<\/p>\n
I would like to know what I should do about the whole situation. What is your opinion as I do not know what to do? I want him to be a father to our children and don’t know how to go about that situation either. I have been hoping and praying for years for his salvation and for him to change but since nothing has changed, I feel lost and would welcome any counsel you have. Do you offer counseling? I would be interested if you do.<\/p>\n
I am depressed off and on and very lonely from time to time. Am I allowed to date or see anyone during this time?<\/p>\n\t
While you left your husband, you didn’t mention whether you divorced him or not. You certainly have the grounds for divorce. “And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery<\/em>” (Matthew 19:9). When that divorce is completed, you can date and marry another man. The divorce would also give you the right to collect child support from your ex-husband.<\/p>\n Why would you want a flagrant sinner to help raise your children? This is not the type of example any child should have in his life.<\/p>\n I know you would like your marriage to be healed and your husband to be saved. I would like that as well, but people have free choice and your husband wants to sin. Until he changes his mind, he has to bear the consequences of his choices. Don’t hold out after false hope.<\/p>\n I do offer counseling as I have time, but I don’t think I can offer much more than what I’ve already mentioned.<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Question: I have been married for ten years, and they have children. Throughout the marriage, my husband has been in one affair after another. From the beginning of our marriage he cheated; in addition to abandoning me and the children for days and sometimes weeks on end, going so far as to bring his mistress…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[20],"tags":[66,167],"class_list":["post-41398","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-adultery","tag-divorce"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":48728,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/my-husband-committed-adultery-repeatedly-then-i-too-fell-into-sin-and-was-beaten-for-it-what-do-i-do\/","url_meta":{"origin":41398,"position":0},"title":"My husband committed adultery repeatedly, then I too fell into sin and was beaten for it. What do I do?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"July 19, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hi, I have been in a relationship with my now-husband for over five years. About a year into the relationship, we moved in together. A few months later he proposed and sent his family to my family to ask for my hand in marriage as according to our culture.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":31023,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/should-i-divorce-my-husband\/","url_meta":{"origin":41398,"position":1},"title":"Should I divorce my husband?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"December 23, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I am married with two children and one on the way. I recently discovered that my husband was having an affair with another woman. I am questioning if divorce is the right decision. My husband flirts with females online and I have found inappropriate pictures of various females in\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":36234,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/can-i-remarry-after-both-my-husband-and-i-have-committed-adultery\/","url_meta":{"origin":41398,"position":2},"title":"Can I remarry after both my husband and I have committed adultery?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"December 23, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hello. I need your help and guidance. I'm currently in the process of a divorce, which has been going on for two years now. My ex-husband and I were very young when we decided to live together. I was 16 and he was 17. I admit that I latched\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3066,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/are-all-marriages-spiritually-binding\/","url_meta":{"origin":41398,"position":3},"title":"Are all marriages spiritually binding?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"March 11, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hello, I attend a church of Christ, and my boyfriend of several years was baptized about a few years ago. We broke up last year for several months due to some differences but have since decided to be back together. My boyfriend is in the military and during the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":26912,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/my-husband-and-i-are-fighting-and-close-to-divorce-what-should-we-do\/","url_meta":{"origin":41398,"position":4},"title":"My husband and I are fighting and close to divorce. What should we do?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"March 26, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hello. I have currently been married for not quite a year and I need some advice. My husband and I met when we were in our late teens; as you can see, we were fairly young. After two months he left me to join the army. We were not\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":23910,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-married-a-man-who-was-divorced-because-of-his-adultery-is-our-marriage-ok\/","url_meta":{"origin":41398,"position":5},"title":"I married a man who was divorced because of his adultery. Is our marriage ok?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"June 30, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: What do you do if you are a Christian, have a second marriage, and realize only too late that it was not the will of God?\u00a0 My spouse was a called man of God, but he committed adultery in his first marriage.\u00a0He is no longer preaching, and I am\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/41398","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=41398"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/41398\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=41398"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=41398"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=41398"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}