{"id":41333,"date":"2013-12-19T17:09:00","date_gmt":"2013-12-19T23:09:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/?p=41333"},"modified":"2022-01-03T17:11:06","modified_gmt":"2022-01-03T23:11:06","slug":"how-can-i-know-if-i-am-meant-to-get-married","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/how-can-i-know-if-i-am-meant-to-get-married\/","title":{"rendered":"How can I know if I am meant to get married?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\n\t

Question:<\/h2>\n

Hello,<\/p>\n

I have a question regarding marriage. I like very much the idea of adopting, I am 22 years old right now, but I can’t wait to adopt! I know, I know, I must first secure a good home for the children to come; that is why I am studying both a career and the Bible (but I feel my Bible study is a bit weak, another topic for another day). How do I know I am meant to get married? Or let me rephrase that: How can I be sure I am marriage material? Someone once told me some are meant to be single and others married. If true, how would I know to which group I belong? I would like to be married. I would like to have and adopt children, but I would also understand if, somehow, I would be told by God that such is not my mission and that I have other things to do.<\/p>\n\t

Answer:<\/h2>\n

It is not God who decides whether you marry or not. God gave all people the choice to decide whether to marry or to remain single. In explaining to Christians of his day that persecution would make being married rough, Paul said:<\/p>\n

“I suppose therefore that this is good because of the present distress — that it is good for a man to remain as he is: Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be loosed. Are you loosed from a wife? Do not seek a wife. But even if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. Nevertheless such will have trouble in the flesh, but I would spare you<\/em>” (I Corinthians 7:26-28).<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Notice that while at that moment, remaining unmarried would be the better choice, Paul makes sure the Corinthians knew this wasn’t an order. God gives everyone the choice to decide whether they marry or not. That choice, however, produces consequences. For example, it is a sin to have sex outside of marriage, so choosing to not marry means choosing not to have sex. For many people that is too hard to follow. “But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am; but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion<\/em>” (I Corinthians 7:8-9).<\/p>\n

Since you want to have children, then you should seek to get married. Whether some woman considers you marriage material will depend on how well you prepare yourself to live with a woman.<\/p>\n

It is a false notion that God dictates every choice that man faces. God gave us free will. He makes use of us to accomplish His will, regardless of what we personally choose. See: What do you think about predestination and free will?<\/a><\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Question: Hello, I have a question regarding marriage. I like very much the idea of adopting, I am 22 years old right now, but I can’t wait to adopt! I know, I know, I must first secure a good home for the children to come; that is why I am studying both a career and…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[20],"tags":[763,426,64,562],"class_list":["post-41333","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-decisions","tag-free-will","tag-marriage","tag-predestination"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":21600,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/do-you-know-someone-who-will-marry-us-without-a-state-marriage-license\/","url_meta":{"origin":41333,"position":0},"title":"Do you know someone who will marry us without a state marriage license?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"January 7, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I would like to get married without the state's license and with a preacher, of course. Could you please help me find a preacher that would marry in my state?\u00a0 I would also like to obtain more information on this subject.\u00a0 Could I get some more information on how\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":41479,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/we-didnt-have-a-wedding-ceremony-am-i-married\/","url_meta":{"origin":41333,"position":1},"title":"We didn’t have a wedding ceremony. Am I married?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"January 6, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: My case is the same with\u00a0Am I married? but the difference is I am a woman. I knew it was wrong, but still, I already committed it with my boyfriend. Maybe I loved him or maybe I was infatuated with him. I don't know because he's the first man\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":32181,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/does-the-bible-speak-against-getting-married-at-a-young-age\/","url_meta":{"origin":41333,"position":2},"title":"Does the Bible speak against getting married at a young age?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"March 16, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I'm currently 17, and I'm engaged to a man who is 25. I am ready for marriage and understand what comes with marriage. I'm aware it is not a game and that it is not easy. Does the Bible speak against getting married young? We have never had sex\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":29698,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-recently-found-out-my-ex-wife-was-married-before-we-married-is-my-second-marriage-proper\/","url_meta":{"origin":41333,"position":3},"title":"I recently found out my ex-wife was married before we married. Is my second marriage proper?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"October 24, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hello, I was married to a woman I recently discovered was married previously. She never told me that she was married, for if she had, I would not have married her. In less than a year, she divorced me for irreconcilable differences. About two years later, I married again.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":24943,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/could-the-one-person-god-intended-for-me-be-someone-who-is-already-married\/","url_meta":{"origin":41333,"position":4},"title":"Could the one person God intended for me be someone who is already married?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"November 10, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I have a question about God and His choice for a spouse: Is it true that there one person He has chosen for each of us?\u00a0 If this is true, would the person he has chosen for me be married, and would I meet him while I was married?\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":23729,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/ive-been-married-three-times-how-do-i-straighten-out-my-life\/","url_meta":{"origin":41333,"position":5},"title":"I’ve been married three times. How do I straighten out my life?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"June 7, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I am a woman who has had an affair. I am really feeling convicted about many things when it comes to fixing the mess I have made of my life. I have been married three times. I got pregnant when I was 17 and married the father of my\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/41333","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=41333"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/41333\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=41333"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=41333"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=41333"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}