{"id":40775,"date":"2013-10-29T21:25:00","date_gmt":"2013-10-30T02:25:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/?p=40775"},"modified":"2021-12-16T21:28:41","modified_gmt":"2021-12-17T03:28:41","slug":"how-can-we-not-commit-fornication-again-before-our-wedding","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/how-can-we-not-commit-fornication-again-before-our-wedding\/","title":{"rendered":"How can we not commit fornication again before our wedding?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\n\t<h2>Question:<\/h2>\n<p>My fianc\u00e9 and I had sex even when we agreed not to, though all necessary plans to get married are on the ground. But I feel so guilty and alone. Forgiveness is what I need from God to face life again. Actually, we had decided not to have sex again, but I have no belief in the decision because we made one before the sex. What are the possible things to do that can both keep us away from it for the short period before the wedding?<\/p>\n\t<h2>Answer:<\/h2>\n<p>Like many others, it sounds to me that you two were focused on not committing fornication but ignored the things that lead up to intercourse. As a result, you stir up passion for sex thinking you&#8217;ll stop before it gets too far and then are surprised to find out that you barely thought about stopping until after it was done. I&#8217;ll give you the same advice I&#8217;ve given others in the past. See: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/can-you-give-some-guidelines-for-how-to-behave-in-courtship\/\">Can you give some guidelines for how to behave in courtship?<\/a>\u00a0It basically comes down to the fact that sex can happen, so you have to not start down the road that leads to the wrong destination. It also requires that\u00a0<em>both<\/em>\u00a0of you are committed to not sin again. You can have good intentions, but if he is undermining your decisions, you&#8217;ll eventually give in again.<\/p>\n<p>In regards to forgiveness, God understands that people are weak and sin. It doesn&#8217;t excuse the sins, but He doesn&#8217;t hold sins against a person who wishes to change both his actions and his attitude toward sin.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>&#8220;<em>If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say that we have not sinned, we make Him a liar, and His word is not in us. My little children, these things I write to you, so that you may not sin. And if anyone sins, we have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous<\/em>&#8221; (I John 1:8-2:1).<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;<em>For godly sorrow produces repentance leading to salvation, not to be regretted; but the sorrow of the world produces death. For observe this very thing, that you sorrowed in a godly manner: What diligence it produced in you, what clearing of yourselves, what indignation, what fear, what vehement desire, what zeal, what vindication! In all things you proved yourselves to be clear in this matter<\/em>&#8221; (II Corinthians 7:10-11).<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Question: My fianc\u00e9 and I had sex even when we agreed not to, though all necessary plans to get married are on the ground. But I feel so guilty and alone. Forgiveness is what I need from God to face life again. Actually, we had decided not to have sex again, but I have no&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[20],"tags":[662,1572],"class_list":["post-40775","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-engagement","tag-fornication"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":30722,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/we-prayed-together-and-made-vows-to-god-but-our-wedding-is-not-until-next-year-are-we-committing-fornication-as-we-have-sex\/","url_meta":{"origin":40775,"position":0},"title":"We prayed together and made vows to God, but our wedding is not until next year. Are we committing fornication as we have sex?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"November 23, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I would like to ask you a question: I have read\u00a0your responses\u00a0to other people. I\u00a0am in a relationship. Both of us are Christians and we love God. We prayed together and vowed to God about our lives for our marriage. We are preparing for our wedding next year. We\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":44718,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-rededicated-my-life-after-committing-fornication-will-god-reject-me-if-we-have-sex-again-just-before-our-marriage\/","url_meta":{"origin":40775,"position":1},"title":"I rededicated my life after committing fornication. Will God reject me if we have sex again just before our marriage?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"February 19, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Sir, I was a backslider for about two years. While in that state I was ready to marry, but I didn't have any girl to marry. Then I was introduced to a girl by my sister. She is my sister's friend and they work in the same company. We\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":39516,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/do-fornication-and-other-sexual-sins-cause-damage-later-in-marriage\/","url_meta":{"origin":40775,"position":2},"title":"Do fornication and other sexual sins cause damage later in marriage?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"June 29, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Do fornication and other sexual sins cause damage later in marriage? My girlfriend and I have grown up in Christian families, but we haven't followed our parents' teachings, and we ended up in sinful relationships. I had a long-term relationship with a girl and we have had sex. My\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":27697,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/how-do-i-keep-temptation-at-bay-just-before-my-wedding\/","url_meta":{"origin":40775,"position":3},"title":"How do I keep temptation at bay just before my wedding?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"June 7, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I am in need of your advice. I am in my early twenties. I grew up in a church and learned at a young age that I should wait until I got married before I had sex. When I was saved in my teens, I took a pledge that\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":49282,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/is-it-true-that-a-couple-who-commits-fornication-cannot-get-married\/","url_meta":{"origin":40775,"position":4},"title":"Is it true that a couple who commits fornication cannot get married?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"October 13, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I have had sex with the girl I proposed to marry. Now we are very close to our wedding. Her pastor became aware that we have had sex by virtue of her confession. She was told that I am not her husband and as such, can not get married\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":41606,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/we-keep-committing-fornication-though-we-try-not-to\/","url_meta":{"origin":40775,"position":5},"title":"We keep committing fornication, though we try not to","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"January 18, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I have been with my boyfriend for a little over a year now. We are in our 20s. He got closer to God when he went to jail. He got out and he started reading to me and getting me closer to God. We've made mistakes though. We have\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/40775","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=40775"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/40775\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=40775"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=40775"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=40775"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}