Hello Jeff,<\/p>\n
I recently started studying the Bible, and I want to get baptized soon as I understand how it goes. It’s my wish to follow God’s commands, turn my life around, and be a good child. I am married to a non-Christian, and I would like your advice on how to address a situation with my husband. I am against using birth control pills that work as abortive and, of course, against abortion itself. He, on the other side, wishes that I take birth control pills and that if a baby happens, I abort it. We are stuck on this argument since no one will give up. We already had an abortion in the past and, even though I know God forgave me for this, still the sadness is there from time to time. He refuses my suggestions such as limiting intercourse to safe times from my menstrual cycle, withdrawal, or any other techniques. He tells me that if we don’t reach an agreement on the plan we are to follow if a baby happened, then he will leave me. I understand that keeping each other from having sex is not doable since we are commanded to not separate but only if both agree, to dedicate time to the Lord, and to not remain separate for too long. I also advised him that if he left me and he starts a relationship with someone else, he would be committing adultery and that at some point he will have to give account on that.<\/p>\n
I am in a situation where I am not part of a church (out of my country and in a Muslim one, no language in common and all churches being denominations) and that’s why I ask you instead of going to my preacher or someone else. In case you answer this, it’s very much appreciated.<\/p>\n
Thanks.<\/p>\n\t
For more on baptism, see:\u00a0How to Become a Christian<\/a>.<\/p>\n For Christians, doing what is right — what is pleasing to God — comes absolutely first. “If anyone comes to Me and does not hate his father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and his own life also, he cannot be My disciple. And whoever does not bear his cross and come after Me cannot be My disciple<\/em>” (Luke 14:26-27). Killing children is never right. See:\u00a0You Shall Not Murder<\/a>\u00a0and\u00a0What If … ?<\/a>\u00a0It is a shame that your husband doesn’t value his own children, but your husband doesn’t have the right to kill children he doesn’t want. He can take steps on his own to limit the possibility of getting you pregnant, but that is his choice. If necessary there are some contraceptives that you can use, such as the diaphragm and cervical cap to reduce the odds of pregnancy. But if these techniques don’t work, then he must face the simple fact of life — having sex leads to having children.<\/p>\n If he chooses to leave over this matter, you can’t stop him. But you also are told not to do wrong just to keep him. “But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace<\/em>” (I Corinthians 7:15). The word “bondage” here is the one for a slave. A Christian is not the slave of a spouse. God always comes first.<\/p>\n Stick to doing what is right. Let him know what you cannot do and what you will be happy to do. I suspect you will need to make preparation for a child in the not too distant future.<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Question: Hello Jeff, I recently started studying the Bible, and I want to get baptized soon as I understand how it goes. It’s my wish to follow God’s commands, turn my life around, and be a good child. I am married to a non-Christian, and I would like your advice on how to address a…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[20,895],"tags":[28,110,571],"class_list":["post-40315","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","category-preparation","tag-abortion","tag-children","tag-pregnancy"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":18096,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/what-are-the-differences-between-catholicism-and-christianity-in-regards-to-sex-abortion-and-stuff\/","url_meta":{"origin":40315,"position":0},"title":"What are the differences between Catholicism and Christianity in regards to sex, abortion, and stuff?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"March 10, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Ok. The thing is, I was baptized Roman Catholic. The information on the Internet is kind of confusing on the views of sex, abortion, and stuff.\u00a0 Is there any difference in these topics between Christianity and Catholicism? Answer: There are differences between what the Roman Catholic church teaches and\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":65413,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/is-an-abortion-not-wrong-if-it-is-done-early\/","url_meta":{"origin":40315,"position":1},"title":"Is an abortion not wrong if it is done early?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"January 5, 2024","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Dear Minister, I have a friend who is unmarried and recently found out she is expecting a child. The couple is quite scared and overwhelmed by the situation and so far I'm the only person they have shared the information with but they asked me to keep it confidential\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":62087,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-find-that-im-pregnant-after-having-a-child-seven-months-ago-should-i-get-an-abortion\/","url_meta":{"origin":40315,"position":2},"title":"I find that I’m pregnant after having a child seven months ago. Should I get an abortion?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"August 1, 2023","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Greetings brother, I am 29 years old and a member of the Lord's Church. I got pregnant last year and God blessed us with a healthy baby boy, but I went through a C-section. Now the baby is 7 months old and I am pregnant again. Sir, my husband\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":41828,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/how-do-you-avoid-an-abortion-and-when-an-abortion-takes-place-who-is-guilty-of-the-murder\/","url_meta":{"origin":40315,"position":3},"title":"How do you avoid an abortion and when an abortion takes place, who is guilty of the murder?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"February 11, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Good afternoon, I am a member of the Lord's church. I read one of your\u00a0articles on abortion\u00a0and taught our brethren over here. It raised a lot of questions. My questions are: Since abortion is a sin, a sister who is pregnant but doesn't want to abort her child and\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":62662,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/the-twisted-thinking-of-abortion\/","url_meta":{"origin":40315,"position":4},"title":"The Twisted Thinking of Abortion","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"September 14, 2023","format":false,"excerpt":"by Dennis Abernathy The thinking of many in our society is truly twisted. Consider the case where two little boys, who were reported kidnapped in South Carolina. Actually, the mother of those little boys confessed to murdering them. She was involved with a man who wanted her company, but not\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Article"","block_context":{"text":"Article","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/article\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":40444,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/early-christians-and-abortion\/","url_meta":{"origin":40315,"position":5},"title":"Early Christians and Abortion","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"December 6, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"by William J. Stewart Several years ago, with an election approaching, a candidate canvassing in our area stopped by my home seeking my support in his pursuit of public office. I politely, but firmly informed him that he would not receive my vote, as we had fundamental disagreements on important\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Article"","block_context":{"text":"Article","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/article\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/40315","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=40315"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/40315\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=40315"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=40315"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=40315"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}