A couple of years ago I had sex with a married man. It lasted about two years and it was revealed to his wife that we were having a sexual affair. I’ve lied to her about what went on between us. I’m very ashamed and disgusted by what I’ve done and ask God to forgive me every day. I’ve come to find out that they are no longer living together and possibly getting a divorce. And it’s all because of my actions. I feel a need to tell her what really happened. But I’m sure at this point she already knows. I’ve been single all my life and am wondering will what I’ve done affect my future marriage if I even have one?<\/p>\n\t
It is true that you committed adultery, for which you need to repent and ask God’s forgiveness (Hebrews 13:4). However, you did not break up this man’s marriage — that is something he did by committing adultery with you. When it comes to sexual sins, each person is held responsible for his own actions. “Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body<\/em>” (I Corinthians 6:18).<\/p>\n On top of this, you also lied (Revelation 21:8). What I suggest is that you write to the woman, apologize for lying, and then state the truth. She doesn’t need to hear the details, but she does need to know she isn’t crazy for suspecting her husband’s adultery. You can say how long it has been going on and that adultery did take place.<\/p>\n As far as how this will affect your future, a lot depends on whether you are going to make a sincere and complete change. “For godly sorrow produces repentance leading to salvation, not to be regretted; but the sorrow of the world produces death. For observe this very thing, that you sorrowed in a godly manner: What diligence it produced in you, what clearing of yourselves, what indignation, what fear, what vehement desire, what zeal, what vindication! In all things you proved yourselves to be clear in this matter<\/em>” (II Corinthians 7:10-11). I strongly urge you not to marry this adulterer. He has no right to another marriage because he broke his covenant (Matthew 19:9).<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Question: A couple of years ago I had sex with a married man. It lasted about two years and it was revealed to his wife that we were having a sexual affair. I’ve lied to her about what went on between us. I’m very ashamed and disgusted by what I’ve done and ask God to…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[20],"tags":[66],"class_list":["post-40297","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-adultery"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":54005,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/if-i-committed-adultery-in-the-past-does-that-mean-i-can-never-marry\/","url_meta":{"origin":40297,"position":0},"title":"If I committed adultery in the past, does that mean I can never marry?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"August 26, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hello brother, After studying the Bible more, I look back on my life and feel ashamed of the sinful acts I've committed. I'm now at the point where I'm ready to marry, but I wonder if I scripturally can. I've never been married, but in my past, I have\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":27764,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-committed-adultery-divorced-my-husband-and-married-another-man-what-should-i-do\/","url_meta":{"origin":40297,"position":1},"title":"I committed adultery, divorced my husband, and married another man. What should I do?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"June 14, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I married in my twenties. We remained married for almost twenty years. I was the one who committed adultery and decided to leave my husband and pursue a life alone. However, I met a man, fell in love, and I divorced my husband and remarried. I am a born\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":39743,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/if-we-straighten-out-ending-our-past-marriages-would-we-still-be-in-adultery\/","url_meta":{"origin":40297,"position":2},"title":"If we straighten out ending our past marriages, would we still be in adultery?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"July 17, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I have seen you talking about adultery on a website answering questions. I myself have the same issue. I'm living with my boyfriend of\u00a0five years, and we have a child together. He is married to another woman, but they have been separated for ten years and he has not\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":44030,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-repented-of-the-adultery-i-committed-early-in-my-marriage-but-now-ive-been-forced-by-my-boss-should-i-tell-my-husband\/","url_meta":{"origin":40297,"position":3},"title":"I repented of the adultery I committed early in my marriage, but now I’ve been forced by my boss. Should I tell my husband?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"November 21, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Dear Minister, I read your messages. I am a born-again Christian. I love the Lord. But I have sinned. First I slept with a married man a few weeks before my marriage.\u00a0 I hated myself for this action and promised God a clean break, which I did. Then two\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":23529,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/does-past-adultery-prevent-a-person-from-getting-married\/","url_meta":{"origin":40297,"position":4},"title":"Does past adultery prevent a person from getting married?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"July 1, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hello brother, I have been single for many years, and I have now found someone in the church I\u2019m wanting to marry. But in my past, I was not very faithful to God in my daily living. In my past, I slept with someone who may have been married\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":32286,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/my-husband-blames-me-for-his-adulteries-and-our-divorce-how-do-i-move-past-this\/","url_meta":{"origin":40297,"position":5},"title":"My husband blames me for his adulteries and our divorce. How do I move past this?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"March 26, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I'm really torn about my divorce. My husband left me for another woman, divorced me, and married her. I'm still crushed after several years. Our marriage started out poorly. We had pre-marital sex and I even had an abortion. A few months before we got married, I had sex\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/40297","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=40297"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/40297\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=40297"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=40297"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=40297"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}