I am in my early twenties and had a godly life since childhood. I had sworn to remain a virgin until marriage, but last year I had this boyfriend who promised we would get married. We had sex. Later he broke up with me claiming I was unfaithful since he lived far away, but never had a thought of cheating in our relationship and never will. The problem is that I cannot yet forgive myself or have the same relationship with God that I once had. I prayed and asked forgiveness but I still feel bad. It’s been seven months now. Will I meet another man who will love me as I am or should I remain single for life? I feel I don’t deserve anything. I am useless.<\/p>\n
Please help. My spirit weary.<\/p>\n\t
You allowed a bum of a man to talk you into having sex. The very fact that he wanted to have sex without waiting for marriage should have been enough of a hint that he wasn’t a godly man (Matthew 7:16-20). Instead, you gave yourself an excuse to sin by claiming you could cover up your sin later in a marriage. As you now know, a person’s word carries no weight, especially when his actions contradict what he claims.<\/p>\n
But that is past. You’ve asked God for forgiveness, but then you tell me that you don’t believe God will keep His promise. “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness<\/em>” (I John 1:9). You put your decision (forgiving yourself) above God’s decision. You put more trust in your own feelings than in God, that needs to change. The only thing coming between you and God is yourself.<\/p>\n Just because you picked a bad boyfriend in the past, it doesn’t mean you have to give up. I have no idea what the future holds for you. You’ll just have to wait and see. But what I encourage you to do is make better decisions in the future — decisions based on God’s teachings.<\/p>\n\t I guess I have to face the consequences. I will trust God’s forgiveness and see what the future has for me.<\/p>\n Thank you for your advice. I really don’t know what got into me because I had kept my word for over twenty years. But it’s in the past like you said. I really need peace. I keep thinking about it all the time. I need to move on.<\/p>\n Thank you.<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Question: I am in my early twenties and had a godly life since childhood. I had sworn to remain a virgin until marriage, but last year I had this boyfriend who promised we would get married. We had sex. Later he broke up with me claiming I was unfaithful since he lived far away, but…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_seo_schema_type":"","footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[20],"tags":[149,1571,1572],"class_list":["post-40055","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-dating","tag-forgiveness","tag-fornication"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":40883,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-committed-fornication-but-i-am-determined-not-to-do-so-again-why-do-i-not-feel-forgiven\/","url_meta":{"origin":40055,"position":0},"title":"I committed fornication, but I am determined not to do so again. Why do I not feel forgiven?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"November 9, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I read your answer to a lady on God forgiving fornication. My story is similar to hers, but I lost my virginity. My parents are not the strong Christian type, but I had high standards for myself. I never had a boyfriend until I was 21 years old. My\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":21632,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-thought-i-was-married-but-found-out-i-wasnt-i-had-cheated-on-the-man-i-thought-was-my-husband-does-that-prevent-me-from-marrying-him\/","url_meta":{"origin":40055,"position":1},"title":"I thought I was married but found out I wasn’t. I had cheated on the man I thought was my husband. Does that prevent me from marrying him?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"January 9, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I have a question about committing adultery while being married. My boyfriend and I believed that we were married and had sexual intercourse. But during that time I strayed and committed adultery with another guy. I know this is a sin and I continually asked for forgiveness from God\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":24506,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/should-i-break-up-with-my-boyfriend-who-is-about-to-file-for-a-divorce\/","url_meta":{"origin":40055,"position":2},"title":"Should I break up with my boyfriend who is about to file for a divorce?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"September 13, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Well, my boyfriend is fixing to file for a divorce and I have no idea what to do. I feel like I should break up with him because we committed adultery. I feel terrible about it. I feel like the Lord is telling me that he isn't the \"ONE.\"\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":38111,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/do-i-tell-my-fiance-that-i-had-homosexual-sex-in-my-past\/","url_meta":{"origin":40055,"position":3},"title":"Do I tell my fiance that I had homosexual sex in my past?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"March 26, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I need your help regarding a situation I have. I am a male in my late twenties. I am going to get married in a few months to my girlfriend of three years. I had a secret, which I am confused about if I should share it with my\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":20229,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/since-i-had-sex-with-my-girlfriend-does-this-mean-i-am-married-to-her\/","url_meta":{"origin":40055,"position":4},"title":"Since I had sex with my girlfriend, does this mean I am married to her?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"September 21, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hello brother. Thank you for the good web site and for the questions and answers that you have posted. I have a question and a problem that I want you to help me to solve. I have been dating a girl for three years. She has been really close\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":5278,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/will-i-be-unhappy-marrying-a-girl-who-is-not-a-virgin\/","url_meta":{"origin":40055,"position":5},"title":"Will I be unhappy marrying a girl who is not a virgin?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"July 4, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Dear Sir, I would like to ask a question about what I should do regarding my relationship. I am having difficulty deciding on a solution. Also, please consider our culture and community's point of view. I have a girlfriend. We are both in our mid-twenties. We have been together\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/40055","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=40055"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/40055\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=40055"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=40055"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=40055"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}Response:<\/h2>\n