The Awful Aftermath of Adultery<\/a>, on the Internet.<\/p>\nMy wife committed adultery over 30 years ago with a man while she was in the military. She told me she did nothing wrong. She places all the blame on me and then started up with another man, lives with him, and then divorces me. I asked in love to try to get her to go to counseling with me. She refused. I asked her about our marriage vows and she said she no longer believed in her vows because she changed religions. She would never tell me why she did this, there was never any chance of her trying; she refused to do it. She divorced me and then married the second man a few weeks later.<\/p>\n
I tried with all my heart to turn the other cheek. I tried to believe God would restore our marriage. I never once wanted to divorce; never. She divorced me. This horrible adultery eats at my soul every single day. It placed a hurt on my heart and on my life. I ask God every day why He will not do something to show her what horrible things she did to me; what torture she brings daily to my life. Why does God not answer my prayers for mercy on her? I ask not for judgment or condemnation but to save her; to show her what terrible things she has done. There was never any remorse, never any guilt. We were married but five years, and I thought we had a very good marriage.<\/p>\n
I would sincerely appreciate it if you could at least pray for this man and my ex-wife. Thank you again for being there.<\/p>\n\t
Answer:<\/h2>\n
I think it is a shame that you let another person’s sin ruin your own life for so long. People sin from their own choice. God shows mercy on those who repent of their sins. Your former wife doesn’t care, so asking God to go against His nature is foolish. “For He says to Moses, “I will have mercy on whomever I will have mercy, and I will have compassion on whomever I will have compassion.” So then it is not of him who wills, nor of him who runs, but of God who shows mercy<\/em>” (Romans 9:15-16). Paul is saying that God makes the rules — not man. It is God who establishes the requirements for mercy — not man. Like Esau long ago, your wife doesn’t seek God. “Looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled; lest there be any fornicator or profane person like Esau, who for one morsel of food sold his birthright. For you know that afterward, when he wanted to inherit the blessing, he was rejected, for he found no place for repentance, though he sought it diligently with tears<\/em>” (Hebrews 12:15-17).<\/p>\nThat was her choice, but you have chosen to let her sin have power over your life. You let bitterness take root in you. It is past time for you to let it go.<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Question: I just wanted to take a moment to thank you for putting the article,\u00a0The Awful Aftermath of Adultery, on the Internet. My wife committed adultery over 30 years ago with a man while she was in the military. She told me she did nothing wrong. She places all the blame on me and then…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[426,64,1510],"class_list":["post-39956","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-free-will","tag-marriage","tag-prayers"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":17100,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/do-i-need-to-renew-my-vows-with-my-current-husband-since-my-former-husband-has-died\/","url_meta":{"origin":39956,"position":0},"title":"Do I need to renew my vows with my current husband since my former husband has died?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"December 28, 2008","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I have spoken to several sound brethren who are elders and ministers in churches of Christ in regard to marriage, divorce, and remarriage. This is the situation that I addressed to them concerning myself: I was in a previous marriage with a man for twelve years. The man I\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":29719,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-dont-know-if-i-should-wait-for-my-wife-to-come-back-or-move-on\/","url_meta":{"origin":39956,"position":1},"title":"I don’t know if I should wait for my wife to come back or move on","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"October 25, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hello, I came across your web site while searching for\u00a0answers on adultery. To try to make it short my wife and got married at a very young age. We felt that it was the correct thing to do because we had moved in with each other. A few months\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":39743,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/if-we-straighten-out-ending-our-past-marriages-would-we-still-be-in-adultery\/","url_meta":{"origin":39956,"position":2},"title":"If we straighten out ending our past marriages, would we still be in adultery?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"July 17, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I have seen you talking about adultery on a website answering questions. I myself have the same issue. I'm living with my boyfriend of\u00a0five years, and we have a child together. He is married to another woman, but they have been separated for ten years and he has not\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":29725,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/can-the-adulterer-marry-again-and-that-marriage-be-acceptable-to-god\/","url_meta":{"origin":39956,"position":3},"title":"Can the adulterer marry again and that marriage be acceptable to God?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"October 26, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hello and God bless, I have some questions that I hope you can address.\u00a0 I am a born-again Christian who has suffered through a divorce.\u00a0 This divorce was not my desire, as I absolutely believe in marriage vows and the concept \"until death do us part.\"\u00a0 I want always\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":24503,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/how-could-a-woman-in-an-adulterous-marriage-have-the-right-to-remarry-after-a-divorce\/","url_meta":{"origin":39956,"position":4},"title":"How could a woman in an adulterous marriage have the right to remarry after a divorce?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"September 13, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I have read through your articles and thoroughly enjoyed them, and even taken a few sermons and re-worked them into sermons that I preached here. However, when I came across\u00a0an answer to a question you made concerning divorce and remarriage, I was a bit taken aback because of you\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":29499,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/we-just-found-out-that-my-wifes-first-marriage-was-never-dissolved-what-do-we-do\/","url_meta":{"origin":39956,"position":5},"title":"We just found out that my wife’s first marriage was never dissolved. What do we do?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"October 12, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I have just recently married a beautiful godly woman who totally fills my heart with love every day that we share together in holy matrimony.\u00a0 But recently we have found out that she is still married to another.\u00a0 Several years ago my wife was to be wed to another\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/39956","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=39956"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/39956\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=39956"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=39956"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=39956"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}