Hi Jeff,<\/p>\n
I hope you’re doing well. I would like some advice on whether my mom’s actions are okay or not. She works very hard. In my opinion, she’s the hardest-working member of the family, but she has a habit of grumbling when other people enjoy seemingly undeserving luxuries.<\/p>\n
For example, one of my aunts is a widow and has children. She had an accident almost a decade ago, in which, she also lost her husband. She’s been unemployed since then, as she claims to be affected physically to this day, by the injuries obtained. She receives financial help from my parents and several other relatives of hers. She and her children(who are still studying) also spend lavishly at times when they could’ve saved. My mom feels she’s using the accident as an excuse to not work and enjoy life without any effort on her part. Sometimes I get the same feeling too, looking at her and her children’s behavior, but then I don’t know how serious her injuries and their effects actually are, and losing a member of the family in an accident can be really traumatic. So, I try to keep telling my mom that maybe God is just taking extra care given the circumstances.<\/p>\n
We’re fortunate enough to live on our own, but my mom constantly grumbles to me about such things. She also grumbles when my cousins borrow money from my dad and spend it all on unnecessary things and delay the repayment.<\/p>\n
While such behavior could be justified from a worldview perspective, what does the Bible say about it?<\/p>\n
Thanks for taking your time to read my mail, looking forward to your response.<\/p>\n\t
The problem with grumbling is that the complaints being raised are to the wrong person. Let’s assume that your mom is correct and your aunt is taking advantage of her situation to avoid work. That would be wrong because Paul pointed out: “For even when we were with you, we commanded you this: If anyone will not work, neither shall he eat. For we hear that there are some who walk among you in a disorderly manner, not working at all, but are busybodies. Now those who are such we command and exhort through our Lord Jesus Christ that they work in quietness and eat their own bread<\/em>” (I Thessalonians 3:10-12). The fact that she is not careful with the money she receives is also a hint that she is not living as she ought to live. However, how does your mother complaining about this situation to you solve the problem? “Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother<\/em>” (Matthew 18:15).<\/p>\n Grumbling is unproductive. For example, if she doesn’t like the fact that your dad gives your cousins money, then she should be talking to your dad about it. By taking it to other people, the problem remains unresolved and leads to the conclusion that either she didn’t like the answer your father gave or she would rather complain than face him. “Do not grumble against one another, brethren, lest you be condemned. Behold, the Judge is standing at the door!<\/em>” (James 5:9).<\/p>\n The best response you can give your mom is to tell her that you’re are not the one she has a problem with, so telling you is only avoiding getting the problem solved.<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Question: Hi Jeff, I hope you’re doing well. I would like some advice on whether my mom’s actions are okay or not. She works very hard. In my opinion, she’s the hardest-working member of the family, but she has a habit of grumbling when other people enjoy seemingly undeserving luxuries. For example, one of my…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[1039],"class_list":["post-39797","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-complaints"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":50198,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/how-do-i-tell-someone-that-having-a-child-outside-of-marriage-is-not-good\/","url_meta":{"origin":39797,"position":0},"title":"How do I tell someone that having a child outside of marriage is not good?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"March 22, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hi! I just started hanging out with this girl from work lately, and she recently told me she had a miscarriage a month or so ago. She's also had a few before that I already knew about. She's not married, and she has only been dating this guy since\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":14969,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-think-my-girlfriend-is-making-a-mistaking-in-finding-a-new-place-to-live-what-can-i-do\/","url_meta":{"origin":39797,"position":1},"title":"I think my girlfriend is making a mistaking in finding a new place to live. What can I do?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"May 28, 2008","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I'm curious to hear your two cents on this situation I'm stuck in right now. So here's the story:\u00a0Since my girlfriend and her daughter live over two hours away, she's looking to move closer since it's very hard for us to see each other. We only do that about\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":48186,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/how-do-i-convert-my-hindu-girlfriend\/","url_meta":{"origin":39797,"position":2},"title":"How do I convert my Hindu girlfriend?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"June 5, 2022","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hello sir, I have this question -- it is more like a problem. I started dating this girl, but she's of a different religion (Hindu). I am a Christian. I like this girl. What should I do? How do I convert her to Christianity? Please respond to me. Answer:\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":43702,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/how-do-i-stop-being-so-involved-in-my-friends-sinful-life\/","url_meta":{"origin":39797,"position":3},"title":"How do I stop being so involved in my friend’s sinful life?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"October 23, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Here's the background story: A year ago my friend, whom I'm very close to, dated someone who wasn't mature enough for a relationship, but she still went out with him. She gave her all to him (including sex), and three months later they broke up. Ever since then they\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":36825,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/what-do-i-say-to-a-young-woman-who-thinks-that-if-she-doesnt-intend-to-have-sex-then-when-it-happens-she-hasnt-sinned\/","url_meta":{"origin":39797,"position":4},"title":"What do I say to a young woman who thinks that if she doesn’t intend to have sex then when it happens she hasn’t sinned?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"January 30, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hello, A young adult I know has become a Christian when she was 15 years old and is now nearly 20.\u00a0\u00a0 She lives her life in fornication with various sexual partners.\u00a0 She has been struggling with this sin since she was a preteen.\u00a0 Her excuse is that it's a\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":42759,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/my-friend-is-dying-and-i-dont-know-what-to-do\/","url_meta":{"origin":39797,"position":5},"title":"My friend is dying and I don’t know what to do","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"May 26, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I have a friend. We were neighbors once She has heart failure and nothing is helping. She's been in the hospital for a while, then she got out and I went to see her. She looks dead to me: she's grey and her lips are blue, she's all swollen\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/39797","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=39797"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/39797\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=39797"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=39797"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=39797"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}