{"id":39596,"date":"2013-07-05T21:17:00","date_gmt":"2013-07-06T02:17:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/?p=39596"},"modified":"2021-11-16T21:25:51","modified_gmt":"2021-11-17T03:25:51","slug":"does-god-choose-spouses-for-us-does-the-church-decide-who-we-marry","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/does-god-choose-spouses-for-us-does-the-church-decide-who-we-marry\/","title":{"rendered":"Does God choose spouses for us? Does the church decide who we marry?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\n\t<h2>Question:<\/h2>\n<p>I&#8217;ve been wondering, does God really choose spouses for us, or does He show us the person who will marry us? My church leaders are against my boyfriend marrying me because they say I&#8217;m not good enough for him. He is now confused and doesn&#8217;t know whether or not to continue, I love him and don&#8217;t think I&#8217;ll ever get married if I lose him. I committed fornication with a different guy before meeting my new guy, lost my virginity. I have also slept with this new guy; however, I know all this was wrong and I&#8217;ve since repented. We stopped doing it. This new guy and I&#8217;ve re-dedicated our lives to Christ. I feel I cannot sleep with any other man again. I want this to be the last mistake. What should I do?<\/p>\n\t<h2>Answer:<\/h2>\n<p>You raise a number of issues that are actually separate issues.<\/p>\n<p>First, regarding God picking our spouses, see:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/does-god-have-a-say-in-whom-we-choose-as-a-spouse\/\">Does God have a say in whom we choose as a spouse?<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/should-i-keep-waiting-for-god-to-find-me-a-husband\/\">Should I keep waiting for God to find me a husband?<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/do-you-think-god-created-one-special-person-for-you\/\">Do you think God created one special person for you?<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/how-will-i-know-that-this-is-the-girl-god-wants-me-to-marry\/\">How will I know that this is the girl God wants me to marry?<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Second, church leaders do not speak for God directly. They can help a person make good decisions by guiding them to which Scriptures apply to his particular situation. I don&#8217;t know why these people are against him marrying you, but ultimately the decision &#8212; good or bad &#8212; is his and yours alone. Others can advise, but the choice is yours to make. See:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/my-pastor-says-god-told-her-that-i-shouldnt-marry-my-fiance-what-do-i-do\/\">My pastor says God told her that I shouldn&#8217;t marry my fiance. What do I do?<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/a-prophet-told-my-fiance-not-to-marry-me-what-do-i-do\/\">A prophet told my fiance not to marry me. What do I do?<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>I&#8217;m glad you both realized that fornication is wrong and have left that sin behind.<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Question: I&#8217;ve been wondering, does God really choose spouses for us, or does He show us the person who will marry us? My church leaders are against my boyfriend marrying me because they say I&#8217;m not good enough for him. He is now confused and doesn&#8217;t know whether or not to continue, I love him&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[20],"tags":[763,64],"class_list":["post-39596","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-decisions","tag-marriage"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":41618,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/a-guy-wants-to-marry-me-but-he-wants-to-move-in-with-me-first-what-do-i-do\/","url_meta":{"origin":39596,"position":0},"title":"A guy wants to marry me, but he wants to move in with me first. What do I do?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"January 19, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hi, I just left a cohabiting relationship after four years. The only good thing that came out of it was my daughter. But there is this guy who wants to marry me, but he wants to move in with me first. What should I do? I don't want to\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":21356,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-feel-like-im-supposed-to-marry-this-guy-but-i-dont-want-to\/","url_meta":{"origin":39596,"position":1},"title":"I feel like I&#8217;m supposed to marry this guy, but I don&#8217;t want to","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"April 8, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hello. I am a girl who has been having anxieties and no freedom in my mind. There is a guy at church who I don't want to marry, but it seems like he likes me and I don't. I am not attracted to him at all. It's been a\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":31538,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/should-my-sister-wait-for-her-boyfriend-to-convert\/","url_meta":{"origin":39596,"position":2},"title":"Should my sister wait for her boyfriend to convert?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"January 30, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I have a sister dating a non-Christian for over five years now. She has been teaching him, but he still hasn't yet made a decision to get closer to Christ. She is deciding that in the next few years if he does not change to not get marry entirely.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":44705,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/his-parents-approve-of-our-relationship-until-we-get-married-am-i-doing-the-right-thing\/","url_meta":{"origin":39596,"position":3},"title":"His parents approve of our relationship until we get married. Am I doing the right thing?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"February 16, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Please, I need enlightenment. I am turning 20 next month. I have always set standards about not having a boyfriend yet and keeping myself pure until marriage. A while back, I met this Christian guy. He is a youth leader in his church, and I am too. We became\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":21716,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/did-i-make-the-right-choice-in-returning-to-my-old-boyfriend\/","url_meta":{"origin":39596,"position":4},"title":"Did I make the right choice in returning to my old boyfriend?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"April 20, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Good day! I have a long time boyfriend. I\u2019m a Christian, and he is not. That he is not a Christian is a big deal for me. Even though he has been my boyfriend for almost five years, I keep praying to God to give me a godly man.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":16319,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/should-i-return-the-interests-of-a-man-who-has-past-sexual-sins\/","url_meta":{"origin":39596,"position":5},"title":"Should I return the interests of a man who has past sexual sins?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"December 1, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hi, I came across your website looking for answers concerning someone I am interested in. A good Christian guy has begun showing interest in me, and I've started liking him. He seems to have a deep and genuine relationship with God. When he talks about mistakes that he's made,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/39596","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=39596"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/39596\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=39596"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=39596"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=39596"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}