Hi there,<\/p>\n
I have a question, as much as I hate to even ask it. A sister has set up a church “group” on Facebook designed to encourage, update and remind each other of different things. Many members are a part of this group, male and female. The sister, who set this group up, posted a very offensive and derogatory paragraph about a younger sister who she felt was dressed immodestly for worship. It was seen by this person as well as myself and a few others. The poster removed the post when we commented how we felt that this was not the forum for dealing with brethren who offend.<\/p>\n
I have asked this sister to meet with me or call me, but she says is not getting into it with me. There is a need for me to talk to her about this and clear the air so that I can continue to worship the Lord without this anger I am feeling toward her. She says it is only between her and the younger sister and I beg to differ. I said if you had gone to her personally, then yes it would, but you posted offensive remarks and comments in a public forum and you offended me as well with what you said.<\/p>\n
Am I wrong to want to deal with this directly? I am one of these people who don’t like issues to sit and smolder and “hope it goes away.” I don’t think it is good for the church when we do that and I know it is terrible for me because it consumes my thoughts until I do, so I have learned to deal with things as expediently as I can, and I do believe that is what the Bible teaches us to do as well.<\/p>\n\t
“Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother. But if he will not hear, take with you one or two more, that ‘by the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.’ And if he refuses to hear them, tell it to the church. But if he refuses even to hear the church, let him be to you like a heathen and a tax collector<\/em>” (Matthew 18:15-17).<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
This sister violated Jesus’ rule for settling problems. She didn’t take an issue directly to the other person first. You were correct in that you brought the issue you saw directly to her. She tried to invoke Matthew 18 after the fact but is unequal treatment. “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you<\/em>” (Matthew 7:1-2). She doesn’t like a taste of her own medicine, so to speak.<\/p>\n
So, yes, you should insist on speaking with her about how she handled this issue. If she refuses, then pick a couple of other people who also know about the issue and all of you sit down to discuss this. In this way, you are putting Jesus’ teachings into practice.<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Question: Hi there, I have a question, as much as I hate to even ask it. A sister has set up a church “group” on Facebook designed to encourage, update and remind each other of different things. Many members are a part of this group, male and female. The sister, who set this group up,…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[794,1598],"class_list":["post-39573","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-criticism","tag-rebukes"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":31538,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/should-my-sister-wait-for-her-boyfriend-to-convert\/","url_meta":{"origin":39573,"position":0},"title":"Should my sister wait for her boyfriend to convert?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"January 30, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I have a sister dating a non-Christian for over five years now. She has been teaching him, but he still hasn't yet made a decision to get closer to Christ. She is deciding that in the next few years if he does not change to not get marry entirely.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":68339,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/my-sister-is-too-tired-to-attend-worship\/","url_meta":{"origin":39573,"position":1},"title":"My sister is too tired to attend worship","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"June 11, 2024","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hello Minister, My question is, what should I do about my younger sister, who came to me in private about her walk? She is a young single mother who is getting by in life. She works all the time and is very tired on Sunday mornings. She only goes\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Article"","block_context":{"text":"Article","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/article\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":92373,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/does-a-church-have-the-right-to-remove-from-its-roll-a-member-who-no-longer-lives-in-the-area\/","url_meta":{"origin":39573,"position":2},"title":"Does a church have the right to remove from its roll a member who no longer lives in the area?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"November 28, 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Dear Sir, I have been reading your articles and learning a lot from your Bible teachings. Thank you for all you do and for your heart to spread the Truth. Here's my question: There's a sister in our Church who was reached out while working as a house helper\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":42641,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/is-there-anything-wrong-with-a-sister-in-christ-helping-a-fellow-christian-fallen-on-hard-times\/","url_meta":{"origin":39573,"position":3},"title":"Is there anything wrong with a sister in Christ helping a fellow Christian fallen on hard times?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"April 26, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hi Brother Hamilton, I have a question that concerns the aiding of a brother or sister in Christ.\u00a0 If there is a member of the congregation who has fallen on hard times (financial chaos, or removal due to an abusive relationship), and a female member of the church has\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":53654,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/would-it-be-a-sin-to-leave-a-congregation-that-accepts-sin-among-its-members\/","url_meta":{"origin":39573,"position":4},"title":"Would it be a sin to leave a congregation that accepts sin among its members?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"July 10, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I worship at a congregation where there is no preacher, elder, or deacons. The brothers serving on the Lord's table are living with girlfriends, playing the lottery, and drinking. I'm a sister in the congregation. I'm trying to go to heaven. I can't worship properly with all this before\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":85728,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/is-a-gathering-in-a-care-facility-a-church-gathering\/","url_meta":{"origin":39573,"position":5},"title":"Is a gathering in a care facility a church gathering?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"March 18, 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I am autistic and live in a facility. I can't drive from here to any church. My sister could bring me, but she is not very consistent. I can't rely on her early Sunday mornings. 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