I am reaching out for advice from you. I am just at the end of my rope. I am in a situation that I do not know what to do. I have talked to many many people in the church where I go. Everyone that knows me knows my situation, and I have no answers.<\/p>\n
I have a husband that has a passive-aggressive personality. He will not solve any problems or even really try. I have a son that is now using heroin since he cannot get oxycontin as easily as he use to. He is 23. When I try to help, I am to blame. My son is becoming like my husband — passive-aggressive toward me, so as my husband treats me, my son is also. I am so afraid he will die, and I am now almost sure of it. When I try to talk to my husband he shuts me down and makes it all my fault the reason he is using it.<\/p>\n
My husband has been gambling for nearly ten years — almost on a daily basis. He lost everything and lost his self-employed job. He just got his business started again just recently, so he is very behind and still gambling when he gets any amount of money in.<\/p>\n
My son lives with us and works only part-time because we only have one car and no gas most of the time. It’s been a long road just to get my husband’s job back. This week we should be getting a paycheck for the first time in three years.<\/p>\n
Now, my son needs help and we go to church every Sunday and Wednesday. He has been added to the church, baptized, and saved. I just don’t have the money for rehab or to help him stop. I have done what I know how to do or could do.<\/p>\n
I need some advice on what to do next to save my son’s life. And how to live with a husband who is so emotionally mean to me and teaches my son how to be what way also. I would love to get divorced and be at peace and happy, but I would want to remarry at some point. How do I live this way because as of now I am so tired? It’s not worth the fight of staying.<\/p>\n\t
Your note illustrates that people can act as followers of God, while simultaneously living sinful lives. Neither gambling nor drug use is acceptable behavior for Christians. It doesn’t matter that your husband and son warm seats in service. What matters is whether they are following God.<\/p>\n
There isn’t much you can do for your son since he is an adult now. Unless he wants to get off drugs, you can’t force him. If he wants off, there are resources available to help him.<\/p>\n
The same goes for your husband. There are programs for problem gamblers.<\/p>\n
But in both cases, the church should have withdrawn from them for not repenting of their sins. “But now I have written to you not to keep company with anyone named a brother, who is sexually immoral, or covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or an extortioner–not even to eat with such a person<\/em>” (I Corinthians 5:11). Gambling is a form of coveting. Drug use is a form of drinking. Since the church you attend is aware of these ongoing sins but is doing nothing about them, it may be time to find a sound congregation to attend.<\/p>\n Right now you are only looking for an escape. You really aren’t seeking out a solution. A separation can limit the impact of their sins on your life, but it won’t solve all the problems. You may want to consider it as a way of withdrawing from their continuing sins. However, it won’t give you the right to remarry (I Corinthians 7:10-11).<\/p>\n You have to realize that you can’t make your husband or your son live righteously. You can encourage them, but what you really need to do is focus on living as righteously as you can. Your salvation depends on what you do, not what they do or fail to do.<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Question: I am reaching out for advice from you. I am just at the end of my rope. I am in a situation that I do not know what to do. I have talked to many many people in the church where I go. Everyone that knows me knows my situation, and I have no…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[372,815],"class_list":["post-39127","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-drugs","tag-gambling"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":42182,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/should-i-divorce-my-husband-for-gambling-away-our-money\/","url_meta":{"origin":39127,"position":0},"title":"Should I divorce my husband for gambling away our money?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"March 20, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I really need advice. My husband will not stop gambling no matter what I say. He gambles every single penny we have. He gambles every single day if he has the money. He will not pay any bills and all the income he gets goes toward gambling. He even\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":34694,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/my-husband-has-stopped-having-sex-or-being-affectionate-with-me-what-do-i-do\/","url_meta":{"origin":39127,"position":1},"title":"My husband has stopped having sex or being affectionate with me. What do I do?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"September 10, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Good evening. My husband and I are in the Lord's church but are suffering and I just don't know what to do. He has a very strong addiction to his electronics, his cell phone, Xbox, and iPad. He spends all day every day on them for years now watching\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":35938,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-just-cant-take-it-anymore\/","url_meta":{"origin":39127,"position":2},"title":"I just can’t take it anymore","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"November 24, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: My husband and I are both in the church of Christ.\u00a0 I have been emotionally and financially abused for almost thirty years.\u00a0 My two sisters gave up on trying to be there for me, although when I could I was there for them in every way no matter how\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":32031,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-had-several-affairs-but-now-my-husband-is-suggesting-that-we-have-a-threesome-how-should-i-handle-this\/","url_meta":{"origin":39127,"position":3},"title":"I had several affairs, but now my husband is suggesting that we have a threesome. How should I handle this?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"March 1, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I have been married to my husband for about ten years. Over the last year or so I lost my way in life and in our marriage. I had multiple affairs, and my husband found out about one of them. Over the course of a few months, I lied\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":39580,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/my-husband-who-is-an-addict-left-me-what-do-i-do\/","url_meta":{"origin":39127,"position":4},"title":"My husband, who is an addict, left me. What do I do?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"July 2, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I read the answer you gave regarding the woman who was still bitter as her husband left and she was still angry toward her mother-in-law although she had passed away. I wonder about my own situation and how your answers here apply. My husband left me and my two\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":37374,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/my-husband-has-gotten-involved-in-drugs-and-gambling-what-do-i-do\/","url_meta":{"origin":39127,"position":5},"title":"My husband has gotten involved in drugs and gambling. What do I do?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"February 26, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: My husband and I have been married for twenty years. We have four children together. Two of them are grown with their own families now, but two of them are still at home. During the first part of our marriage, my husband was a wonderful father and husband but\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/39127","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=39127"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/39127\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=39127"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=39127"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=39127"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}