My boyfriend and I have done some sexual things. We love each other, and I know I’m going to marry him someday. We’ve been struggling to stop, but I think the time has come to give up these things, as I know that it is not right in the eyes of the Lord. Are we going to hell?<\/p>\n\t
I can’t predict any person’s eternal destiny because God looks at who you are and not who you were. I have no idea if you will change or if, upon changing, you will remain faithful to God. What I can tell you is that dying in your sins will lead to condemnation. “Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you. But you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of our God<\/em>” (I Corinthians 6:9-11). While you talk about stopping, you haven’t. That tells me that you really haven’t changed your mind about your sin. You feel justified in doing these things because you claim you are in love and that you plan to marry.<\/p>\n Plans are good to have, but plans are not a guarantee. “Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a city, spend a year there, buy and sell, and make a profit”; whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away. Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we shall live and do this or that.” But now you boast in your arrogance. All such boasting is evil<\/em>” (James 4:13-16). A plan to get married doesn’t change the fact that you are not married and having sex when you are not married is still fornication.<\/p>\n Love isn’t a feeling. People in love have feelings for the one they love, but the feeling isn’t love. “Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth<\/em>” (I Corinthians 13:4-6). Notice that love doesn’t take pleasure in sin, yet that is what you have been doing. It isn’t love to encourage another person to sin since no one would want a loved one to end up in hell.<\/p>\n Since you know you are not doing right, why are you not changing? It is past time to get right with God.<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Question: My boyfriend and I have done some sexual things. We love each other, and I know I’m going to marry him someday. We’ve been struggling to stop, but I think the time has come to give up these things, as I know that it is not right in the eyes of the Lord. Are…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[20],"tags":[1572],"class_list":["post-38935","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-fornication"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":44488,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/is-the-reason-my-life-is-going-downhill-because-of-my-sexual-sins-with-my-girlfriend\/","url_meta":{"origin":38935,"position":0},"title":"Is the reason my life is going downhill because of my sexual sins with my girlfriend?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"January 31, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: My girlfriend and I have been sexually active for some time now. We sought out advice from our pastor, who suggested we separate to refocus and rededicate our lives to Christ so that if and when reunited we would be better equipped to fight off temptation. We didn't follow\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":24970,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/if-you-repented-of-past-sexual-sins-is-it-wrong-to-wear-a-purity-ring\/","url_meta":{"origin":38935,"position":1},"title":"If you repented of past sexual sins, is it wrong to wear a purity ring?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"November 15, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: If you have had \"relations\" with someone, but have asked forgiveness and seen the errors of your ways and want to rededicate yourself to God, would it be considered wrong to wear a purity ring or something along those lines? Answer: If you are doing so to make it\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":25344,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/is-it-possible-to-step-back-after-you-think-you-are-going-too-far\/","url_meta":{"origin":38935,"position":2},"title":"Is it possible to step back after you think you are going too far?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"December 18, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I've been reading this site and you give such meaningful advice to people, so I wanted to ask a question of my own: Is it possible to take a leap backward after you feel like you and your boyfriend have gone too far physically? We haven't had any sexual\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":35789,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/was-the-death-penalty-for-homosexuals-only-referring-to-hell\/","url_meta":{"origin":38935,"position":3},"title":"Was the death penalty for homosexuals only referring to hell?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"November 11, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Does Deuteronomy 20 really say that we should kill gay people? I was always under the idea that it was saying God was going to kill them by sending them to hell when they died because they knew better and refused to change. Am I right? It came up\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":26039,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/is-giving-a-client-a-handjob-as-part-of-a-massage-a-sin\/","url_meta":{"origin":38935,"position":4},"title":"Is giving a client a handjob as part of a massage a sin?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"February 13, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I am a male massage therapist. I want to know if it is a sin to give a full body massage that includes massaging the penis and masturbating the client for full relaxation. Answer: Is this not just one aspect of homosexuality? But homosexuality is condemned in the Scriptures:\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":39621,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/how-can-sins-keep-you-from-getting-to-heaven-if-you-are-saved\/","url_meta":{"origin":38935,"position":5},"title":"How can sins keep you from getting to heaven if you are saved?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"July 6, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hi, I'm confused with the passage I Corinthians 6:9-10. Because if these things send a person to hell, then wouldn't that go against what the churches teach today when they say you just have to accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior and you are going to Heaven? Answer:\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/38935","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=38935"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/38935\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=38935"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=38935"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=38935"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}