I have a question. About 20 years ago, I was married to a guy I had met, dated, and had sex with beforehand.<\/p>\n
After about two years of marriage, I was very unhappy and depressed. One day my husband at that time brought one of his co-workers home to give us an animal. Basically, he showed him the way to our house you might say. Over the next few months the guy, who is now my husband of nearly 19 years, became very acquainted with me and we fell in love. We both knew this wasn’t really right, but my husband at that time practically pushed us into forming a bond. The three of us went on picnics, had barbeques and such. After about several months, my first husband came right out and confessed to his best friend that he thought we should be together! He even secretly taped us outside talking over hot dogs and salad on the picnic table. We later discovered that he was whispering on the tape, saying things like, “They should be together. They are made for one another.” He made other gestures as well pertaining to why we should get together right to our faces! He would invite him over and then leave us to talk.<\/p>\n
Eventually, we decided to meet in secret to talk about his actions and our true feelings came out. We both confessed that we had fallen in love with one another but didn’t know what to do. My now husband wasn’t religious, but he didn’t believe in taking another man’s wife away from him. So a little more time went on and my first husband just practically admitted he wasn’t happy and hadn’t been in a long time, even before he introduced me to his friend!<\/p>\n
I told him I wanted a divorce. I had watched my own mother and father stay miserable all their married lives, and I just wasn’t going to live the same life. My first husband agreed to the divorce, even congratulating my now-husband that he could have me! He told him he couldn’t make me happy and that he was unhappy himself.<\/p>\n
I was raised in a Christian background and knew adultery was wrong, but I guess at that time I didn’t fully understand the consequences, so we ended up having sex. I pursued the divorce and remarried just 3 days after it was final.<\/p>\n
Every marriage has its ups and downs and even though we always loved and certainly do still love each other now. We have successfully made it through almost 20 years of marriage, and each year seems better than the last.<\/p>\n
My question is this: After reading numerous posts on your site, I keep reading where the Bible says that one cannot marry another except that the spouse committed adultery, but it was me that committed that sin. I find it hard to believe I cannot be forgiven according to the Scripture in I Corinthians 7:11. I have just begun to really learn God’s word and am currently under conviction to do right. Let me add that I do definitely know God is and has worked with me for a while now. He showed me through the Word a couple of years ago that my involvement in the occult and witchcraft was very wrong. I had never known what the Word said about such things. I have also quit doing lots of other sinful things, such as drugs, hating people, and simply just sinning. I feel like I have come a long way but, yes, have a long way to go. I am certain my heart is in the right place. I want to continue to get to the Word, accept Jesus Christ and live the best way I know how. My husband, who never was taught anything practically about God’s Word, is now learning things too. So, again, is there not a way we can live a righteous life together, once we both have accepted Jesus and applied the teachings and learnings of the Bible?<\/p>\n
Thank you for your time.<\/p>\n\t
Everyone can be forgiven. The point that you are stuck at is that you do not wish to give up your sin; in fact, you are convinced that you are not currently in sin, even though you acknowledge that you broke God’s law.<\/p>\n
That your first husband encouraged you to commit adultery didn’t excuse what you did. That he wanted and encouraged the divorce didn’t make the situation right. That you are learning the Scriptures to some extent and are making changes doesn’t mean that partial change is good enough.<\/p>\n
I am a teacher of God’s Laws (I Peter 4:11). I cannot give out exceptions because I am not the lawmaker. I can only tell you what God has said. You have to decide whether you wish to listen to God or not.<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Question: I have a question. About 20 years ago, I was married to a guy I had met, dated, and had sex with beforehand. After about two years of marriage, I was very unhappy and depressed. One day my husband at that time brought one of his co-workers home to give us an animal. Basically,…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[167,1571,50],"class_list":["post-38229","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-divorce","tag-forgiveness","tag-repentance"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":38963,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/my-husband-returned-to-his-first-wife-and-now-im-confused\/","url_meta":{"origin":38229,"position":0},"title":"My husband returned to his first wife and now I’m confused","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"May 24, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Good day, I have been separated for over a year from my best friend of over 10 years and my husband for less than a year, though legally we were married for over a year. He had been married once before to a woman who continuously committed adultery with\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":37352,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-left-my-husband-after-only-six-months-i-realize-i-was-wrong-but-he-wont-consider-my-returning\/","url_meta":{"origin":38229,"position":1},"title":"I left my husband after only six months. I realize I was wrong, but he won’t consider my returning.","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"February 24, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Of late, I have started following Jesus Christ, although I am not a Christian, and reading Bible has helped me overcome a lot of stress and depression. I need your help on my life's greatest issue. I fell in love with a guy when I was 17. We were\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":60384,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/did-my-marriage-end-for-the-right-reason\/","url_meta":{"origin":38229,"position":2},"title":"Did my marriage end for the right reason?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"April 19, 2023","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Good afternoon! I recently became aware of your ministry and have been reading your articles. I immediately loved the tone and the thoroughness of the answers to questions that people asked! I have one for you that has concerned me! I am in my fifties. I accepted Christ as\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":17100,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/do-i-need-to-renew-my-vows-with-my-current-husband-since-my-former-husband-has-died\/","url_meta":{"origin":38229,"position":3},"title":"Do I need to renew my vows with my current husband since my former husband has died?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"December 28, 2008","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I have spoken to several sound brethren who are elders and ministers in churches of Christ in regard to marriage, divorce, and remarriage. This is the situation that I addressed to them concerning myself: I was in a previous marriage with a man for twelve years. The man I\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":28354,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/am-i-doing-the-right-thing-waiting-for-my-husband-to-come-back\/","url_meta":{"origin":38229,"position":4},"title":"Am I doing the right thing waiting for my husband to come back?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"August 8, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Am I right to stand for my marriage to be restored? My husband and I were 18 and 19 when we married. The first five years were hard on him since I had childhood issues and used them to push him\/test his love. But he always told me he\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":30942,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/it-is-complex-but-is-my-third-marriage-adulterous\/","url_meta":{"origin":38229,"position":5},"title":"It is complex, but is my third marriage adulterous?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"December 13, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I have a question for you. It involves a complex matter, but I trust your biblical response after having read your web page. I am married currently and was also married twice before this marriage. 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