{"id":37904,"date":"2013-03-19T21:03:00","date_gmt":"2013-03-20T02:03:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/?p=37904"},"modified":"2021-09-12T21:06:21","modified_gmt":"2021-09-13T02:06:21","slug":"my-second-husband-left-and-now-wants-a-divorce-what-should-i-do","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/my-second-husband-left-and-now-wants-a-divorce-what-should-i-do\/","title":{"rendered":"My second husband left and now wants a divorce. What should I do?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\n\t

Question:<\/h2>\n

I have a past that I am not proud of. I was in and out of the church and never truly committed to God.\u00a0 I did ask for salvation when I was around 19 but was still not committed to God.<\/p>\n

I was married for the wrong reasons to my first husband and 11 years later we divorced.\u00a0 The last two years of our marriage were a nightmare. He snuck out, just didn’t come home, and I believe was also looking at porn. He was not working on a relationship with me, and I eventually emotionally separated myself from him also. I did commit adultery. I knew it was wrong, but I was just longing for the affection, love, and attention that I did not get from him.<\/p>\n

I am now married again and my husband now has been unfaithful to me.\u00a0 We have had a very rough marriage and last year he walked out on me and the kids.\u00a0 He has a problem with porn, lying, and manipulating which has really driven a wedge between us.\u00a0 We have been together 13 years and married for 7. My husband has been married three other times before me and has children with two other women besides me. I was married once and he is my second.<\/p>\n

The difference now is I am now truly saved and a Christian. For a year now I have been holding on and standing for my marriage.\u00a0 The first few months he was gone he called but then the calls stopped and we went six months with no word from him.\u00a0 He visited in December and the visit went well, then he left and started calling again. At one time he stated he wanted to come home.\u00a0 A few days ago he came for a visit and stated he wanted a divorce. His reason was that he has no stress or acid reflux where he is at now, but if he comes back, then he will have the problems again.<\/p>\n

I have people all around me telling me to divorce him and some telling me to continue to hold on.\u00a0 I am so tired. I know I am probably reaping what I sowed but my question is: Should I continue to stand until death do us part?\u00a0 What about if he files for divorce?\u00a0 Should I let go or hold on?\u00a0 He is not a Christian but was raised in a Mormon church and went to a Christian high school. He knows the Bible. I believe he is just running from God.\u00a0 Please help me with what you think of this situation.<\/p>\n\t

Answer:<\/h2>\n

First, I would like you to read:\u00a0I need a dumbed-down version about divorce and remarriage.<\/a>\u00a0The rest won’t make nearly as much sense until you understand the basics of what God said about the matters of divorce and remarriage.<\/p>\n

It seems fairly clear that your first husband was committing adultery; however, you muddied the waters by also committing adultery. It would appear that the divorce was due to both of you being unfaithful to your marriage covenant, which means neither of you would have the right to another marriage.<\/p>\n

You committed adultery with your second husband prior to your marriage to him. I suspect that because he had three prior marriages that he was unfaithful to his marriage covenants and had no right to another marriage. So in both of your cases from a biblical viewpoint, your marriage was adulterous. It seems clear that your current husband is continuing to commit adultery with another woman.<\/p>\n

Since you should not have been married in the first place, I would recommend that you end this marriage. Plan on living a single life. Unless your first husband precedes you in death, you won’t be able to marry again. Given your success rate at picking husbands, it probably will be a good thing to leave the married situations behind while you grow in the knowledge of Christ.<\/p>\n

Because of the way you stated you became a Christian, I suspect that you have not done all that God required of you. I would like you to read\u00a0What Must I Do to be Saved?<\/a>\u00a0and if you find you haven’t done everything you should make corrections.<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Question: I have a past that I am not proud of. I was in and out of the church and never truly committed to God.\u00a0 I did ask for salvation when I was around 19 but was still not committed to God. I was married for the wrong reasons to my first husband and 11…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[167],"class_list":["post-37904","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-divorce"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":27369,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/am-i-doing-right-in-reconciling-with-my-former-husband\/","url_meta":{"origin":37904,"position":0},"title":"Am I doing right in reconciling with my former husband?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"April 28, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hi, Thank you in advance for reading and answering this question. I have a problem. I got married about 15 years ago to a man I'd been in love with since I was 17 years old. During the marriage, we had several problems, some physical and emotional abuse, and\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":28927,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/should-i-divorce-can-i-remarry\/","url_meta":{"origin":37904,"position":1},"title":"Should I divorce? Can I remarry?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"September 12, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I am in need of your assistance, please. Your insight and views would be most appreciated with regards to my current situation. I will try and keep things as brief as possible yet provide you with as much detail as I possibly can, too. When I met my husband,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":32466,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/am-i-an-adulteress-because-i-married-a-man-who-had-committed-adultery-in-his-past\/","url_meta":{"origin":37904,"position":2},"title":"Am I an adulteress because I married a man who had committed adultery in his past?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"April 8, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I recently found your site and was very confused about the topic of adultery when it applied to my current situation. I hadn't thought that adultery would apply to me as I have never had an affair within my marriage or even had relations with anyone else besides my\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":23910,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-married-a-man-who-was-divorced-because-of-his-adultery-is-our-marriage-ok\/","url_meta":{"origin":37904,"position":3},"title":"I married a man who was divorced because of his adultery. Is our marriage ok?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"June 30, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: What do you do if you are a Christian, have a second marriage, and realize only too late that it was not the will of God?\u00a0 My spouse was a called man of God, but he committed adultery in his first marriage.\u00a0He is no longer preaching, and I am\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":19886,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/was-it-wrong-to-leave-a-marriage-when-my-ex-husband-had-tried-to-kill-my-son-and-me\/","url_meta":{"origin":37904,"position":4},"title":"Was it wrong to leave a marriage when my ex-husband had tried to kill my son and me?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"August 14, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Was I wrong to leave the marriage? My ex-husband tried to kill my son and me. He told me that he was a baptized Christian. Then he said he was Catholic. After that, he said he did not believe in God at all and cursed His name many times.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":10792,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/am-i-married-in-the-eyes-of-god\/","url_meta":{"origin":37904,"position":5},"title":"Am I married in the eyes of God?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"July 7, 2007","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: When I met my husband, he was going through a divorce from his former wife. She had been unfaithful. He moved out and the other man moved in with her. Before I met him, he had already begun the divorce papers. 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