My dad and I were always close when I was little. I was a daddy’s girl even though he lived in another state. I lived with my mom and only saw him during the summer. We drifted apart when he got married, and I stopped visiting him when I was 16. But we did stay in contact.<\/p>\n
As I got older my dad did not like that I was dating guys who were Hispanic. He thought a white girl like me should date white boys. I stopped telling him about who I was dating because I didn’t want to hear his negativity. Two years ago I met my now-husband and began dating. I told my dad about him and again he got mad. A month later I spoke with him. I was excited that my boyfriend was taking me to church and I was learning so much. I was raised Catholic and didn’t get much Bible study. My dad got angry again because I was not going to a Catholic church. He told me that my boyfriend was going to cheat on me and treat me badly because of his race. That really upset me because my boyfriend is a wonderful man, has Jesus in his heart, and would never do that.<\/p>\n
I wrote my dad a letter since I get upset easily I wanted to be able to get everything out that I wanted to say. I told him about the wonderful Christian church I was attending and the wonderful man I was dating. I also brought up that my dad had an affair and left my mom with no money with several kids. That upset my dad a lot, but I had to say it because he was calling my boyfriend a bad guy. He had never met him and my dad had not always acted great.<\/p>\n
I didn’t talk to him for about half a year when my then-boyfriend and I started talking about marriage. My boyfriend said we should get my dad’s blessing. I sent my dad a card telling him I missed him and telling him we were talking about the marriage. He finally answered my call and told me he would have nothing to do with my husband or my children because they were not white. The call ended with him hanging up on me.<\/p>\n
My boyfriend and I got engaged and planned for a wedding. I sent my dad another card for his birthday. My dad did call me. I told him of the wedding, and I really wanted him to walk me down the aisle. My dad said he would. We started talking again, but as the wedding got closer I kept bugging him about if he was coming to the wedding. He would always say he didn’t know. He was getting a new job and said that he didn’t think he could come because of the new job. Two weeks before the wedding he stopped talking to me.<\/p>\n
We had a wonderful wedding my mom walked me down the aisle. I tried calling my dad and he won’t answer the phone or return my calls. I just recently sent him a card. I sent some pictures of the wedding. I told him I wanted him to see how happy we are. He still won’t talk to me. I don’t know what to do. I want him to know I love him and want him in mine and my husband’s life and our future children’s life. The Bible says to honor your parents, but it seems he doesn’t want to talk to me.<\/p>\n
Should I keep trying? Should I stop and just pray for him? Please help.<\/p>\n\t
You are constantly trying to make your dad into someone he is not. Honoring a person doesn’t mean you have to drag him into every aspect of your life. You talk about him respectfully but don’t pretend that he is something he isn’t. He just isn’t a nice man.<\/p>\n
He won’t be a part of your family by his choice. You invited him. He refused, but you left the door open if he ever changes his mind. Send him photos once in a while and nice cards on special occasions. These are things that don’t demand him to respond back if he doesn’t want them.<\/p>\n
Meanwhile, you have a new family to establish and you can’t do that by pinning for the past and all its sadness. “Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus<\/em>” (Philippians 3:13-14).<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Question: My dad and I were always close when I was little. I was a daddy’s girl even though he lived in another state. I lived with my mom and only saw him during the summer. We drifted apart when he got married, and I stopped visiting him when I was 16. But we did…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[20],"tags":[550,1509],"class_list":["post-37017","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-honor-your-parents","tag-parents"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":36177,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/how-do-i-deal-with-the-fear-that-my-dad-may-never-change\/","url_meta":{"origin":37017,"position":0},"title":"How do I deal with the fear that my dad may never change?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"June 26, 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hello Bro. Hamilton, I just need some clarification about a situation. My parents are not members of the church of Christ, but I am. We went off and on when I was growing up but stopped because my dad didn't take us anymore. However, we went back, and I\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":32913,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-want-to-marry-a-guy-but-he-is-being-forced-to-marry-the-girl-he-got-pregnant\/","url_meta":{"origin":37017,"position":1},"title":"I want to marry a guy, but he is being forced to marry the girl he got pregnant","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"March 4, 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hi! I found your site and am hoping to get advice on relationships. I have been dating a guy for a year. Late last fall, he cut off all communication with me. 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My mom and I didn't feel it\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":26703,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/is-it-a-sin-to-call-child-protective-services-on-your-dad\/","url_meta":{"origin":37017,"position":3},"title":"Is it a sin to call Child Protective Services on your dad?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"March 14, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Is it a sin to call Child Protective Services on your dad? I had like one beer and got caught by my brother who's a snitch. He took me home and my dad got mad and slapped me, but it wasn't as if I was drunk. He didn't have\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":44492,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/my-father-refuses-to-consent-to-my-marriage-because-my-girlfriend-comes-from-the-same-clan-though-we-are-only-distantly-related\/","url_meta":{"origin":37017,"position":4},"title":"My father refuses to consent to my marriage because my girlfriend comes from the same clan, though we are only distantly related","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"January 31, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hi, I just read a reply you made to someone about\u00a0marrying without parental consent. I happen to be in a similar situation right now. I hail from a village in Nigeria where marriage within the same clan is considered taboo irrespective of how distant the relationship is. My fiancee\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":31947,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-am-so-miserable-i-need-help\/","url_meta":{"origin":37017,"position":5},"title":"I am so miserable. I need help","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"February 24, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hi, I can't find an answer, and I need guidance, I can't find my path I feel like I am walking in the same place don't go forward. A little background: My mom and dad divorced when I was an older child. 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