https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/01\/ParentingPreschoolersObedienceTraining.mp3<\/a><\/audio>\n\tby Jeffrey W. Hamilton<\/p>\n\t
Text: Ephesians 6:1-4<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
I. Simply because limits are placed, it doesn’t mean that they are always followed<\/p>\n
A. Children of this age have a fair ability to communicate<\/p>\n
B. A source of endless “Why?”<\/p>\n
1. It is no longer enough to know something exists, they want a reason.<\/p>\n 2. Not so much as to know a detailed explanation, but to see the logic to the\nworld. \n
a. “Why is the sky blue?” <\/p>\n b. You can either give a detailed scientific explanation that would do\nyour physic teacher proud or you can just say that when light\nshines through things, it sometimes picks up a color. Use a colored\nglass and a flashlight. And then just say that air gives light a blue\ncolor. \n c. Is that absolutely accurate? No, but is good enough for a four year\nold.\n 3. Sometimes the “Why” is just a way of engaging “grownup” talk with\nMom and Dad.\n
C. Now is the time that rules are questioned<\/p>\n 1. Why can’t I stay up late? Why do I have to go to bed? Why do I have to\ntake a bath?\n 2. Give a simple, understandable reason, but remember you don’t have to\njustify your decisions. \n a. If your answer is not good enough, a “because Mom said so” is the\nanswer. (And no dads you can’t use that)\n
3. Is that the way God treats His children? <\/p>\n
a. Sometimes “because God said so” has to be good enough.<\/p>\n
4. Parents want to be appreciated too. <\/p>\n
a. When our authority is questioned, we sometimes doubt ourselves.<\/p>\n
5. Remember who is the parent and who is the child. <\/p>\n a. Children need to learn obedience even when they don’t understand\nall the reasons.\n
D. The child is building on the things he already knows<\/p>\n
1. Movement improves, speech improves, vocabulary improves<\/p>\n
2. Growth is noticeable<\/p>\n
3. Baby fat is lost with increased activity<\/p>\n
4. Memory develops<\/p>\n
5. Child has a concept of time (“Dad when are we going to get there?!!!?”)<\/p>\n
E. Limits are known, but not always followed<\/p>\n
1. Careless – easily distracted<\/p>\n
2. Lazy – rather be doing something more interesting<\/p>\n
3. Rebellious – doesn’t like doing as told<\/p>\n
II. Obedience needs to be taught<\/p>\n
A. Rules followed whether Mom or Dad is standing over them or not<\/p>\n
1. Ephesians 6:4 – Obeying parents is right<\/p>\n
2. Colossians 3:20 – Obeying parents is pleasing to God<\/p>\n
3. Listen to your Dad and Mom – Proverbs 1:8-9 <\/p>\n
a. Obedience will make you look good.<\/p>\n 4. A sign of the age is when men are disobedient to their parents – II Timothy \n3:2\n
B. Rules must be enforced<\/p>\n
1. By spanking<\/p>\n
a. Hebrews 2:2-3 – A just recompense for each misdeed.<\/p>\n
b. Teaching to honor authority, not because we were insulted<\/p>\n
2. By letting the consequences serve as the punishment <\/p>\n
a. Hebrews 5:8 – Christ learn through His suffering.<\/p>\n b. Sometimes we are too protective of our children. We don’t let\nthem suffer from their actions.\n
3. The best time to teach obedience is in a controlled environment<\/p>\n
a. Children need to know they can’t play with anything<\/p>\n b. Don’t wait until in a store to teach your child not to touch crystal\non a shelf\n c. When a child first begins to crawl and reaches for things he\nshouldn’t have the first instinct is to move the item out of reach\n
(1) A valuable opportunity to teach is lost<\/p>\n (2) Instead leave the item in reach. When he starts to reach for\nit say “No” in a quiet voice and flick the back of his hand. \n (3) Repeat with each reach. It might take a while, but usually it\nonly takes a few times.\n (4) The benefit is that you later can just tell a child “No” and\nknow that it won’t be touched, though you always have to\nmake sure. One slip will defeat months of training\n
C. Teach a willingness to obey<\/p>\n
1. God expects us to follow him with all our hearts – Deuteronomy 26:16<\/p>\n
2. We don’t drag our feet and say “Aww, do we have too???”<\/p>\n
3. We sometimes teach reluctant obedience<\/p>\n a. By our example: do we grumble about having to go to work, go to\nchurch?\n
b. By encouraging complaints and being ignored<\/p>\n (1) Do you make something else if the kids complain they\ndon’t like your dinner?\n (2) Not expecting immediate obedience. One reminder is more\nthan enough. Be prepared to follow through.\n (3) “Johnny, pick up that toy. … Did you hear me? I said pick\nup that toy. … If you don’t pick up that toy right NOW, I’m\ngoing to have to do something drastic! … That does it\nyoung man, I going to get the switch!”\n (a) Usually Johnny then scrambles to put the toy away,\nsmiles sweetly at Mom, who forgets all about the\nspanking while congratulating herself on getting\nJohnny to obey.\n (b) But think about what Johnny learned. He can wait\nuntil Mom goes and gets the switch. And if he\nsmiles sweetly Mom forgets about punishments.\n (c) Invest time in having children learn to obey when\nfirst asked.\n
c. By not discouraging whining or backtalk<\/p>\n (1) Direct punishment – will stop the expression, but more is\nneeded\n
(2) Make the consequences of whining less favorable<\/p>\n
(a) Send to room to do their whining<\/p>\n
(b) Extra helping for each whine that must be eaten.<\/p>\n (c) If they don’t like dinner, give them the option of\nskipping dinner but there isn’t anything else to eat\nuntil breakfast.\n
(d) Miss dinner if they drag their feet.<\/p>\n
4. The “I didn’t hear you”<\/p>\n a. Sometimes legit. Mom yells from kitchen “Dinner’s ready”. Kids\nengrossed in latest action video downstairs don’t notice.\n
b. Make sure they hear you.<\/p>\n (1) Get their attention. Put hand on shoulder. Look them in the\neye.\n
(2) If complex, have them repeat it back.<\/p>\n (3) If calling to the next room, require a response to indicate\nthey heard, such as “Yes sir” or “Yes ma’am”. \n
(a) If not, follow through, don’t repeatedly yell. <\/p>\n (b) Don’t establish a habit of saying things that they can\nsafely ignore.\n
c. Learning to listen is an important skill in life.<\/p>\n
(1) Teach them how to truly listen to all that is said<\/p>\n
(a) Make them wait for you to finish<\/p>\n (b) “Sara, will you get my Bible? It’s on the kitchen\ntable.” Meanwhile Sara is already out the door by\nthe time you said the word “get”.\n
(c) “I can’t find it.” Don’t go and get it yourself. <\/p>\n i) Ask the child where you told her the Bible\nwas. \n ii) You know she wasn’t listening, but this\nreinforces it.\n (d) Otherwise, teaching that not paying attention means\nyou get out of chores quicker.\n (2) Teach them not to color things with what they would like to\nhear.\n (a) “Can I have a cookie.” “After dinner. . . What is\nthat cookie in your hand?” “You said I could have\none.”\n (b) Or the multiplying cookie. “Can I have a cookie?” \n“One” and junior walks off with one in each hand\nand one in his mouth.\n
5. The “I forgot”<\/p>\n
a. James 1:25 – God expects us to remember His laws by doing<\/p>\n
b. Make sure directions are followed by periodic check-up<\/p>\n c. Too many tell a child to do something and then never see if it is\ndone (except when it is too late).\n d. We have to teach rememberance by periodic checking. At first it\nwill be frequent, latter we can stretch it out.\n
e. Don’t accept goofing off until they hear you coming. <\/p>\n (1) Such a child will grow up learning to goof off when the\nboss isn’t around.\n
6. Tantrums<\/p>\n
a. Giving into demands means we can be held hostage<\/p>\n (1) A tantrum means an automatic denial of whatever they\nwere wanting\n b. Send to room to have their tantrum. Leave room so they don’t\nhave an audience. Use a switch if they persist.\n
7. Don’t reward partial obedience – Joshua 1:8<\/p>\n
a. “Pick up your room Johnny before bedtime.” <\/p>\n (1) Johnny manages to get two items put away while playing\nthe next hour.\n (2) We then reward Johnny by letting him stay up late to finish\nthe job or we let him off and say “You can do it tomorrow”\n b. Give a reasonable amount of time to complete the task (Don’t have\nthem start five minutes before bedtime. If we forget to tell them —\nit is our own fault, then wait until the next day when there is time.)\n c. Check on progress while there is a reasonable amount of time to\ncorrect goofing off.\n
III. Religious Training<\/p>\n
A. Behaving in church and class<\/p>\n
1. Learning to sit still (needed for later schooling). A part of listening skills.<\/p>\n
2. Participate in worship and in class<\/p>\n
B. Memorize simple verses or parts of verses<\/p>\n
C. Songs<\/p>\n
D. Learn books of the Bible<\/p>\n
E. Things to teach<\/p>\n
1. God’s love for us<\/p>\n
2. Our love for parents means we obey<\/p>\n
\n
\n
Thoughts for Now and Later<\/p>\n
\n Some day when my children are old enough to understand the logic that motivates a\nmother, I will tell them:\n “I loved you enough to ask where you were going, with whom, and what time you would\nbe home.\n I loved you enough to insist that you save your money and buy a bike for yourself even\nthough we could afford to buy one for you.\n
I loved you enough to be silent and let you discover that your new best friend was a creep.<\/p>\n I loved you enough to make you take a Milky Way back to the drugstore (with a bite out\nof it) and tell the clerk, ‘I stole this yesterday and want to pay for it.’\n I loved you enough to stand over you for two hours while you cleaned your room, a job\nthat would have taken me five minutes.\n I loved you enough to let you see anger, disappointment, and tears in my eyes. Children\nmust learn that their parents are not perfect.\n I loved you enough to let you assume the responsibility for your actions even when the\npenalties were so harsh they almost broke my heart.\n But most of all, I loved you enough to say ‘No’ when I knew you would hate me for it. \nThose were the most difficult battles of all. I am glad I won them, because in the end, you won\nsomething too.”\n
Mother<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
by Jeffrey W. Hamilton Text: Ephesians 6:1-4 I. Simply because limits are placed, it doesn’t mean that they are always followed A. Children of this age have a fair ability to communicate B. A source of endless “Why?” 1. It is no longer enough to know something exists, they want a reason. 2. Not so much as to know…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[119,1031,1028,32,1030],"tags":[665,54,29,107],"class_list":["post-36531","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-audio","category-childhood","category-parenting","category-sermon","category-toddler","tag-child-rearing","tag-obedience","tag-parenting","tag-raising-children"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":62417,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/the-children\/","url_meta":{"origin":36531,"position":0},"title":"The Children","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"September 25, 2007","format":false,"excerpt":"by Scott Smelser The Family","rel":"","context":"In "Audio"","block_context":{"text":"Audio","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/audio\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":62413,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/parenting-mistakes\/","url_meta":{"origin":36531,"position":1},"title":"Parenting Mistakes","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"September 24, 2007","format":false,"excerpt":"by Scott Smelser The Family","rel":"","context":"In "Audio"","block_context":{"text":"Audio","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/audio\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":49751,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/teach-your-children\/","url_meta":{"origin":36531,"position":2},"title":"Teach Your Children","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"January 15, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"by Raymond Warfel","rel":"","context":"In "Audio"","block_context":{"text":"Audio","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/audio\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":53088,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/my-beloved-children\/","url_meta":{"origin":36531,"position":3},"title":"My Beloved Children","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"April 8, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"by Raymond Warfel, Jr. Lessons from Matthew","rel":"","context":"In "Audio"","block_context":{"text":"Audio","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/audio\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":91619,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/one-word-to-transform-your-parenting\/","url_meta":{"origin":36531,"position":4},"title":"One Word to Transform Your Parenting","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"October 27, 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"by Scott Smelser Parenting can feel exhausting and confusing. How do you train your child in a way that works-and reflects biblical wisdom? The answer may be simpler than you think. 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