My year began on a very hopeful note, and I was really looking forward to making great changes in my life. My guy friend and I had not chatted or hung out for a while. Unfortunately the day we saw each other it seemed we could not resist not hanging out. I agreed to go to his place, breaking one of my resolutions. We fell into sin. I felt hopeless in my journey of really trying to be pure. The final resolution for me now seems like I just really need to stay away from this guy, like cut off even communication, but every time I think of doing that I feel bad. I wish I could have him as a friend but not be influenced or fall for his words or lose my senses when I’m around him. He is a man who tries to live a godly life and has great qualities, but this seems to be our undoing. I know I can resist, I just wonder why sometimes it seems impossible or hard. I asked God to forgive me, and I told Him that this cannot happen again, not while we are professing to be Christians. Any guidelines or studies that you can help me with that will help me fight this sin, or rather know how to handle this friend and friendship? When I’m on my own I do not even think about it. I do not even allow myself to yearn for him or any man for that matter.<\/p>\n
Also, my prayer life has not really picked up. I’m certain that I’m not standing so strong because I’m not praying as I ought to.<\/p>\n\t
“Do not be deceived: “Evil company corrupts good habits”<\/em>” (I Corinthians 15:33).<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
It seems you have a man who claims to be Christian but doesn’t behave like one. I took note that you said you “fall for his words,” so I conclude that he is the one who keeps pushing the limits and who is instigating sex. You have to give greater credence to a person’s actions than to their words. “You will know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes from thornbushes or figs from thistles? Even so, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a bad tree bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Therefore by their fruits you will know them<\/em>” (Matthew 7:16-20). His actions say that he wants to commit fornication, contrary to what Paul stated in I Corinthians 6:9-10. He claims to want to live a godly life, but his behavior says otherwise.<\/p>\n
In the same way, your actions speak louder than your words. You claim to know that being with this guy will result in sex, yet you convinced yourself that this time it would be different. It is almost like biting into a sandwich, realizing that the bread has gone stale, but trying another bite later just to see if it has changed.<\/p>\n
There wasn’t any indication that this guy has changed. But you not only went with him, but you went alone to his place. I think the only one surprised at what happened was you, and you weren’t completely surprised. “He who walks with wise men will be wise, but the companion of fools will be destroyed<\/em>” (Proverbs 13:20).<\/p>\n
The way to resist is to not allow it to start. When you are aroused, you don’t think clearly, so the best thing to do is avoid situations where it is possible to become aroused. It appears that you can’t maintain proper boundaries with this man because he keeps pulling you across the line; therefore, the answer is to stop seeing him because he is a bad influence on you.<\/p>\n\t
Response:<\/h2>\n
Thank you, Jeffrey. I appreciate it.<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Question: My year began on a very hopeful note, and I was really looking forward to making great changes in my life. My guy friend and I had not chatted or hung out for a while. Unfortunately the day we saw each other it seemed we could not resist not hanging out. I agreed to…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_seo_schema_type":"","footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[20],"tags":[1572],"class_list":["post-36469","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-fornication"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":42987,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/how-can-i-be-a-good-friend-to-a-guy-that-has-lots-of-problems-with-drugs-and-drinking\/","url_meta":{"origin":36469,"position":0},"title":"How can I be a good friend to a guy that has lots of problems with drugs and drinking?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"June 17, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hi, So long story short, I was led into the life of a guy with\u00a0a lot\u00a0of problems (drugs and drinking). I got to know him as a friend and he expressed how much he would like to change. I started talking to him more and he attended church with\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":38956,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-feel-terrible-i-had-sex-with-a-friend-and-damaged-my-relationship-with-my-boyfriend\/","url_meta":{"origin":36469,"position":1},"title":"I feel terrible. I had sex with a friend and damaged my relationship with my boyfriend","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"May 22, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hello, Please answer, I don't know who to turn to. I have questions regarding fornication. I've sinned, I couldn't resist the temptation. Now I'm feeling terrible. What happened is I'm in a relationship with a guy I've known since high school. When I went to college I had a\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":41998,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/should-my-friend-marry-a-girl-who-flirts-with-other-men\/","url_meta":{"origin":36469,"position":2},"title":"Should my friend marry a girl who flirts with other men?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"February 27, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Dear Minister, I really appreciate your website and the time you put in to answer all these questions. I have a friend who shared this dilemma with me. I wanted to get your opinion about it. My friend is in a long-distance relationship with this girl who is a\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":16253,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/how-do-i-help-a-guy-who-seems-down-on-his-luck\/","url_meta":{"origin":36469,"position":3},"title":"How do I help a guy who seems down on his luck?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"September 5, 2008","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hi! In my workplace, I got to know a guy who is in his near 40s. This is a minimum wage job and I'm not judging or anything, but I thought it seemed odd that he was still working at a job like this because if you talked to\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":29092,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/how-do-i-help-a-friend-away-from-homosexuality\/","url_meta":{"origin":36469,"position":4},"title":"How do I help a friend away from homosexuality?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"September 23, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I need to help someone! A friend of mine is saying that he's gay. He says he likes another friend of mine (who doesn't like him, but sometimes they get too intimate, like extended hugs and caresses). I got curious and kept asking him until I got to the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":36825,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/what-do-i-say-to-a-young-woman-who-thinks-that-if-she-doesnt-intend-to-have-sex-then-when-it-happens-she-hasnt-sinned\/","url_meta":{"origin":36469,"position":5},"title":"What do I say to a young woman who thinks that if she doesn’t intend to have sex then when it happens she hasn’t sinned?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"January 30, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hello, A young adult I know has become a Christian when she was 15 years old and is now nearly 20.\u00a0\u00a0 She lives her life in fornication with various sexual partners.\u00a0 She has been struggling with this sin since she was a preteen.\u00a0 Her excuse is that it's a\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36469","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=36469"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36469\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=36469"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=36469"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=36469"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}