I have a\u00a0friend that shares with me about other coworkers that have either said something that she did not like or hurt her feelings, in the past and currently, and I was wondering what exactly is the difference between just venting and gossiping.\u00a0 She sometimes\u00a0begins\u00a0by saying\u00a0“I am just venting,” which sometimes I\u00a0know that\u00a0I do, but I know there is a fine line\u00a0between venting and gossiping and I want to make sure that I do not cross that line.<\/p>\n\t
First, let us take what your coworker is doing, she is talking about something “she did not like, or hurt her feelings;” hence she is talking about bad things people do or stuff she does not like about other people in some sort a way or form.<\/p>\n
Work is always a dangerous place to talk because anything you say is usually remembered and used against you later. Especially if you are a Christian, everyone is watching and will hold you to your word.\u00a0 If you break your word or talk bad about someone else, it usually comes out as a big deal because one is a Christian. It will be remembered for years down the road. Even being told such things reflect back on you because if you do not object, people take it you agree.<\/p>\n
But what does the Bible say about gossip? I am going to be using the NIV due to it generalizing few words together that represent gossip (slander, whisper, talebearer, busy body, murmur, back biter).<\/p>\n
The next word is in Hebrew is “ragan”\u00a0<\/em>which means “to murmur, whisper<\/em>,\u00a0(Qal) murmurer (participle) 1) to murmur 2) backbiter (participle)<\/em>.”<\/p>\n In Greek “psithyrismos<\/em>” means: 1)\u00a0 a whispering, i.e. secret slandering; 2) of the magical murmuring of a charmer of snakes.<\/p>\n Also, people who are going about gossiping (phyaros)\u00a0<\/em>are also called busy bodies (periergos<\/em>).<\/p>\n Gossip:<\/p>\n Busybodies<\/p>\n One last word for busybodies is in the Greek allotriepiskopos<\/em>, which means “one who takes the supervision of affairs pertaining to others and in no wise to himself, a meddler in other men’s affairs.”<\/p>\n Let us take note that the basic meaning of gossip is to be in other people’s business and to slander is to put down or telling stuff that should not be told.\u00a0 If you have to question if you should be being told something, then it is probably gossip.<\/p>\n There is a story of one of Noah’s son’s in the Bible and how Ham went out and gossiped about his father:<\/p>\n “And Noah began to be a farmer, and he planted a vineyard. Then he drank of the wine and was drunk, and became uncovered in his tent. And Ham, the father of Canaan, saw the nakedness of his father, and told his two brothers outside. But Shem and Japheth took a garment, laid it on both their shoulders, and went backward and covered the nakedness of their father. Their faces were turned away, and they did not see their father’s nakedness. So Noah awoke from his wine, and knew what his younger son had done to him<\/em>” (Genesis 9:20-24).<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n What we notice is that Ham saw his father’s nakedness as entertaining enough he wanted to tell other people about it, yet did not take care of the problem. We see the attitude of Ham was wrong and he gossiped, but the attitude of the two other brothers was correct realizing that it was wrong to indulge in such talk, that it was shameful, they went and fix the situation, and on top of that showed respect by not even looking at their father while covering him with a blanket. In a sense, they rebuked their brother’s actions with their own.<\/p>\n We know your friend does this because you said: “something she did not like or hurt her feelings.” I do not know her personally, so all I have is your word to go off of, but I will do a generalization. When most people say “I am just venting,” they are gossiping because they slander people. If I say, “Bob over there is so frustrating because he is so childish. He needs to grow up. And he tells all those stupid jokes. I can’t wait to get away from him!”\u00a0 I then say, “Sorry I just needed to vent because Bob is annoying, so childish, and immature. I just wish I did not have to work with him.” When people say venting it means something that you do not like that another is doing or has done to you. It doesn’t mean what the other person did was bad, you just don’t like how they did it. By telling other people, you are letting other people, who cannot do something about the situation, know you do not like something about this person.<\/p>\n A gossip is known for telling more than one person or will tell one person who will tell everyone else (another gossip).<\/p>\n Gossip can be about anything, even the truth. For example: “Did you hear that Bob and his wife are separated, I heard she left him for the milkman”. Even though this might be true, it is not your issue to deal with nor is it correct to spread such things around in the workplace. Especially if Bob is hurting and doesn’t need to deal with this issue at work. Work could be a place where he feels he can get away from it all and get a break from all the stress.<\/p>\n When people say, “I am venting” it is usually a way people justify gossiping.<\/p>\n We as Christians are supposed to be pure in speech, not slanders of other people or gossips (Ephesians 5:3-4; II Corinthians 12:20).<\/p>\n A busy body is putting your nose where it doesn’t belong in someone else’s matters. Other people’s issues are not yours. A person is just complaining so he can be heard. What this does is make the person feel important. If it is a real issue, such as sexual harassment or breaking laws or policies then that needs to be reported to someone in authority and not just complained about.<\/p>\n When it has nothing to do with you, leave it alone and say sorry but I do not want to hear gossip or venting.\u00a0 If the issue has to do with you, then go to the person directly who said it. A lot of people go around telling everyone else about it and finally have the person who should have been talked to first be last person approached.\u00a0 Once you are done talking to the person, the conversation stays only between you and that person. It is no one else’s business. The people who ask what was said are definitely the ones not to tell.<\/p>\n Is it OK to vent? At times yes. I vent about work, friends, family, and life to my wife. What I say to her stays only between her and I.\u00a0 But even with my wife, when I vent I don’t slander the person. I just say “this happened again at work today. I really need the weekend to come soon; I am stressed.” Usually, we will pray about a situation and the people in regards to how I can improve it.\u00a0 My venting doesn’t usually include telling tons of people but usually just my spouse.\u00a0 I don’t berate or put down, but I do share my frustration with someone. I trust my wife and ask for her wisdom on the situation. When I do go outside of telling just my wife, it is usually to a mentor or someone who has the wisdom to seek advice about the situations and how to handle them.<\/p>\n When your co-worker “vents,” is she speaking badly of other people? Is she ruining their reputation, putting someone down, belittling someone, elevating herself above others to make herself feel important, or telling more than one person? Does it happen often? If there is a real problem, why doesn’t she take it to management or talk to the problem person directly?<\/p>\n If she is gossiping, it is your responsibility to make sure she no longer uses you as an outlet for her sin. You will have to let her know that you no longer want to hear “venting” because you think it is wrong. Tell her you are more than willing to talk about other things, just not things pertaining to her venting. If she asks why, it is a good opportunity to share a little bit about your faith, God, and why you follow what He says. Explain what gossip does to other people and how it affects everyone.<\/p>\nPeace, Love, Prayer Question: I have a\u00a0friend that shares with me about other coworkers that have either said something that she did not like or hurt her feelings, in the past and currently, and I was wondering what exactly is the difference between just venting and gossiping.\u00a0 She sometimes\u00a0begins\u00a0by saying\u00a0“I am just venting,” which sometimes I\u00a0know that\u00a0I do,…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[1503,1573],"class_list":["post-36146","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-anger","tag-gossip"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":91021,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/how-do-you-deal-with-an-elders-wifes-gossiping\/","url_meta":{"origin":36146,"position":0},"title":"How do you deal with an elder’s wife’s gossiping?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"October 4, 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Do the wives of the elders have any authority over the other women of the congregation? 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What Does Gossip Look Like?<\/h3>\n
When Is Venting OK?<\/h3>\n
What to Do<\/h2>\n
\nAlan Feaster\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"