{"id":35926,"date":"2012-11-22T21:28:00","date_gmt":"2012-11-23T03:28:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/?p=35926"},"modified":"2024-11-15T19:02:52","modified_gmt":"2024-11-16T01:02:52","slug":"im-rebellious-but-i-want-to-follow-god-and-i-dont-know-what-to-do","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/im-rebellious-but-i-want-to-follow-god-and-i-dont-know-what-to-do\/","title":{"rendered":"I&#8217;m rebellious but I want to follow God and I don&#8217;t know what to do"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\n\t<h2>Question:<\/h2>\n<p>I have been dealing with a medical condition and going through a lot since the year 2006; even prior to the year 2006.\u00a0 First and foremost I believe that Jesus Christ is the Son Of God; that&#8217;s what I want to believe.\u00a0 I was baptized several years ago.\u00a0 Currently, I no longer attend church.\u00a0 I&#8217;ve always had a rebellious demeanor within me, even as a child.\u00a0 I want to do things my way, but I do realize that &#8220;my way&#8221; inevitably fails time after time; again and again.\u00a0 I know that I&#8217;m wrong but I still want to do it my way.\u00a0 I&#8217;m fully aware that I&#8217;m sinning against God and that doesn&#8217;t make me happy.\u00a0 I&#8217;m trying to have it both ways but I know deep in my heart that it&#8217;s God&#8217;s way or no way at all.\u00a0 One morning while lying in bed I was thinking about how difficult my life is and before I knew it, I looked towards the ceiling and yelled at God\u00a0 &#8220;I hate You!&#8221;\u00a0 Let me make this perfectly clear; I don&#8217;t want to &#8220;hate&#8221; God nor do I want to be God&#8217;s enemy.\u00a0 I know that God wants what&#8217;s best for me.\u00a0 I&#8217;m having such a difficult time submitting to God&#8217;s Will.\u00a0 There&#8217;s like a tug-of-war going on inside of me.<\/p>\n<p>I honestly believe that if I were to die right now, I&#8217;d go straight to hell; although there is a small amount of hope still left inside of me that I won&#8217;t?\u00a0 I don&#8217;t want to hate God, I don&#8217;t want to be God&#8217;s enemy; so much has happened in my life that I don&#8217;t know who I am anymore.\u00a0\u00a0Honestly, even my prayers I believe are an abomination to God.\u00a0 My prayers don&#8217;t make it past the ceiling, of this I&#8217;m most definitely certain!\u00a0 In spite of it all, I still believe that God is an awesome God; that He&#8217;s wonderful, beautiful, holy, magnificent, good, merciful, righteous; He&#8217;s God.\u00a0 I&#8217;m very confused, tired, and lost; completely lost.\u00a0 I have no idea what to do anymore.<\/p>\n\t<h2>Answer:<\/h2>\n<p>You make it sound like you have no choice, which is false. Yes, if you want a better life, you will have to deny yourself and submit to God. When God gives the truth and the best way to live, no other alternative gives you a better life. See <a href=\"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/denying-oneself\/\">Denying Oneself<\/a>. The only thing that is missing is making a real commitment.<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Question: I have been dealing with a medical condition and going through a lot since the year 2006; even prior to the year 2006.\u00a0 First and foremost I believe that Jesus Christ is the Son Of God; that&#8217;s what I want to believe.\u00a0 I was baptized several years ago.\u00a0 Currently, I no longer attend church.\u00a0&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[1268,992,417],"class_list":["post-35926","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-denial","tag-disobedience","tag-rebellion"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":53543,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/why-didnt-god-heal-my-wife\/","url_meta":{"origin":35926,"position":0},"title":"Why didn&#8217;t God heal my wife?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"June 25, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hi, I read some sermons from your website about the person who accepted Jesus, believe in him, and went to church, but he turned back to his old way and sinned again. It's like me now. I went to Bible college with my wife about ten years ago. We\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":52276,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/if-god-were-interested-in-me-then-maybe-i-would-be-motivated-to-change\/","url_meta":{"origin":35926,"position":1},"title":"If God were interested in me, then maybe I would be motivated to change","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"January 1, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I just read\u00a0an article about an unrepentant person - a person who just doesn't feel like repenting but believed he is a Christian. You implied that He was going to Hell. Well, I'm a little stuck at the moment. When I was 12 I realized that the crucifixion was\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":39718,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/is-god-keeping-the-woman-i-want-to-marry-from-me-because-of-my-sins-with-pornography\/","url_meta":{"origin":35926,"position":2},"title":"Is God keeping the woman I want to marry from me because of my sins with pornography?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"July 15, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hello, I'm having huge problems with pornography and have a question about a girl I like, but she doesn't like me back. If you could, please read all that I will write and God give you the wisdom to help me with this. Thank you. I'm a male, age\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":25291,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/im-sorry-for-the-adultery-ive-done-but-my-wife-is-leaving-me-and-i-dont-know-what-to-do\/","url_meta":{"origin":35926,"position":3},"title":"I&#8217;m sorry for the adultery I&#8217;ve done, but my wife is leaving me and I don&#8217;t know what to do","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"December 17, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I have been married for a few years. My wife and I have several children. About two months ago she filed for divorce, and it's destroying me. I'm searching for God. I spoke to the Lord now and prayed that He may give me a word. He did: Proverbs\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":23665,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/one-year-without-cutting\/","url_meta":{"origin":35926,"position":4},"title":"One year without cutting","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"June 3, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: As of tonight, it has been exactly one year since I promised God that I would stop cutting myself, and I've kept that promise. It feels so unreal, the fact that it's been one whole year since that night.\u00a0 And for once in my life, I feel like I've\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2440,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-want-to-be-baptized-but-how-can-i-find-a-true-believer-to-do-it\/","url_meta":{"origin":35926,"position":5},"title":"I want to be baptized, but how can I find a true believer to do it?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"February 9, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I recently came across the fact that baptism is a necessary step for the forgiveness of sins. If this interpretation is true, it means that I've never met a Christian in my whole life. Most people I know who are or claim to be a Christian were baptized because\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35926","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=35926"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35926\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=35926"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=35926"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=35926"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}