Hi,<\/p>\n
I am a 41-year-old with severe anxiety, panic, and depression with disrupted sleep patterns due to this condition. Several years ago my mother sustained an injury while at one of my siblings’ homes due to a fight that occurred as the result of drugs and relationship issues. My mother has lost a lot of use in one of her limbs and constantly reminds me of the commandment to honor thy father and mother. I am also married and have children, one quite young. My husband has health issues as well as me so I am confused as my husband reminds me of the verse to cleave unto thy spouse and forsake all others. I feel in my heart I have done all that I can or could do for both. To the point, it made my problems worse. Daily I am constantly blamed for decisions that led to her limb usage loss, and I am now so confused about the two scriptures and not knowing what or if I did something wrong that I just want to give up sometimes. Please help me to understand the Scriptures because as it is I can’t do both and make everyone happy. While I am struggling to get by day-to-day, I am now using narcotics (prescribed). I am feeling like I am going to go to hell for not being able to take care of my mother more than I was able to. I have siblings who offered no or little help at all. I want to do what I can but as I said I am limited. So any understanding you can offer would be greatly appreciated.<\/p>\n
Thanks.<\/p>\n\t
Honoring does not mean becoming a slave to other people. It means being polite, respectful, and seeing that they are safe and cared for. I don’t know what you’ve been doing for your mother, but it sounds as if you’ve been doing what you can. If your mother doesn’t think it is enough, suggest that she move into an assisted living facility since you don’t have the resources to take her in.<\/p>\n
What everyone seems to be forgetting is that there is also the rule, “If anyone will not work, neither shall he eat<\/em>” (II Thessalonians 3:10). People are expected to be responsible to do what they can for themselves. What they cannot do, others step in to help as they are able.<\/p>\n Figure out what you can do which allows you to sustain that level of effort for a long period of time. Then learn to say no when the demands get beyond what you can handle.<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Question: Hi, I am a 41-year-old with severe anxiety, panic, and depression with disrupted sleep patterns due to this condition. Several years ago my mother sustained an injury while at one of my siblings’ homes due to a fight that occurred as the result of drugs and relationship issues. My mother has lost a lot…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_seo_schema_type":"","footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[20],"tags":[173],"class_list":["post-35878","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-family"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":7297,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/how-do-i-honor-my-parents-when-im-constantly-fighting-with-my-mother\/","url_meta":{"origin":35878,"position":0},"title":"How do I honor my parents when I’m constantly fighting with my mother?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"September 5, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I have a question about the article on honoring your father and mother. I am a mom in my late twenties. My husband and I live too close to my parents and my mother and I are into it constantly. I was just wondering does all of the honor\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":39580,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/my-husband-who-is-an-addict-left-me-what-do-i-do\/","url_meta":{"origin":35878,"position":1},"title":"My husband, who is an addict, left me. What do I do?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"July 2, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I read the answer you gave regarding the woman who was still bitter as her husband left and she was still angry toward her mother-in-law although she had passed away. I wonder about my own situation and how your answers here apply. My husband left me and my two\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":43598,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-left-an-abusive-marriage-can-i-date-and-remarry\/","url_meta":{"origin":35878,"position":2},"title":"I left an abusive marriage. Can I date and remarry?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"September 26, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I divorced a man who hit my son and hit me. His pastor says that I am not allowed to ever remarry and if I date and remarry I will burn in the Lake of fire and hear his words for all eternity in my mind in Hell. My\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":41398,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/my-husband-lives-with-another-woman-and-doesnt-support-me-or-our-children-what-should-i-do\/","url_meta":{"origin":35878,"position":3},"title":"My husband lives with another woman and doesn’t support me or our children. What should I do?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"December 27, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I have been married for ten years, and they have children. Throughout the marriage, my husband has been in one affair after another. From the beginning of our marriage he cheated; in addition to abandoning me and the children for days and sometimes weeks on end, going so far\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":48610,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/my-mom-is-upset-that-i-dont-spend-as-much-time-with-her-as-my-sister-does\/","url_meta":{"origin":35878,"position":4},"title":"My mom is upset that I don’t spend as much time with her as my sister does","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"June 20, 2022","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Context before I ask my question: I have been married to my husband for about a year now and happily consider ourselves still very much newlyweds. The first time I moved out of my parents' home was when I married my husband. I was in my twenties and was\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":32056,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-want-to-marry-my-girlfriend-but-her-mother-objects-what-am-i-to-do\/","url_meta":{"origin":35878,"position":5},"title":"I want to marry my girlfriend, but her mother objects. What am I to do?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"March 5, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: My question is simple. My girlfriend and I are fighting some because of her family. We have been together for seven years already. We just become Christians a few months ago. We were growing together so much, but her mother keeps telling her that she hates me, and she\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35878","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=35878"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35878\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=35878"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=35878"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=35878"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}