Repentance<\/a>). You are doing this. A part of that change is correcting past wrongs, and again you are doing this. You are now the husband you should have been. It is a mistake to assume that telling people all the wrong you did is fixing your wrongs. It might be a necessary step to get problems solved in some cases, but it isn’t the solution.<\/p>\nBringing up your past isn’t going to help you or your wife. “Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus<\/em>” (Philippians 3:13-14). Don’t ever lie about who you once were, but when a person makes a radical change few people are interested in the past. I would think your wife is so happy about the man you’ve become that she won’t want to ask about the man you used to be. If the topic ever comes up, simply ask why she wants to know about things that you now regret ever doing. If you get a good answer, then tell her only in generalities that you’ve sinned and thankfully learned before it was too late that you had to change. The main thing is to make sure it is clear there is now a difference between the new you and the old you. “What fruit did you have then in the things of which you are now ashamed? For the end of those things is death. But now having been set free from sin, and having become slaves of God, you have your fruit to holiness, and the end, everlasting life<\/em>” (Romans 6:21-22).<\/p>\nThe times when confession is needed is when the other person is harmed by not knowing or when they do know and they need to know that you have changed so that they can forgive. This is why we confess our faults to God — He already knows and our sins harmed our relationship with Him.<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Question: I have committed adultery many times during the past 30 years of my marriage and in many instances lied to cover up my absence. During the last year or two, I have earnestly started to read the bible and now feel extremely guilty about my past poor behaviors. Since I have become more familiar…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[66,51],"class_list":["post-35831","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-adultery","tag-confession"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":30847,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/am-i-still-in-adultery\/","url_meta":{"origin":35831,"position":0},"title":"Am I still in adultery?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"December 3, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I need some advice about my situation. There is a lot that has happened, but I'm going to try to summarize to keep it short. Several years ago I had sex with a girl who was barely married a few months before to a guy (I'll call him \"J\").\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":21647,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/my-husband-doesnt-want-me-to-confess-all-my-sins-to-him\/","url_meta":{"origin":35831,"position":1},"title":"My husband doesn’t want me to confess all my sins to him","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"April 18, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I had multiple affairs with an ex-boyfriend over several years. My husband found out about the first one. I lied to him but continued to commit adultery. I came to the Lord in repentance and I was baptized for the remission of my sins. I confessed my adultery to\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":54005,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/if-i-committed-adultery-in-the-past-does-that-mean-i-can-never-marry\/","url_meta":{"origin":35831,"position":2},"title":"If I committed adultery in the past, does that mean I can never marry?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"August 26, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hello brother, After studying the Bible more, I look back on my life and feel ashamed of the sinful acts I've committed. I'm now at the point where I'm ready to marry, but I wonder if I scripturally can. I've never been married, but in my past, I have\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":24943,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/could-the-one-person-god-intended-for-me-be-someone-who-is-already-married\/","url_meta":{"origin":35831,"position":3},"title":"Could the one person God intended for me be someone who is already married?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"November 10, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I have a question about God and His choice for a spouse: Is it true that there one person He has chosen for each of us?\u00a0 If this is true, would the person he has chosen for me be married, and would I meet him while I was married?\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":19907,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/because-im-committing-adultery-does-that-mean-i-cant-go-to-heaven\/","url_meta":{"origin":35831,"position":4},"title":"Because I’m committing adultery, does that mean I can’t go to heaven?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"August 18, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I was bought up to go to Sunday school every Sunday at a Free Evangelical Church. I don't what that stands for, but I got lost in life with God and Jesus. When I was young I had a friend who was a Jehovah's Witness and we were told\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":27541,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-committed-adultery-before-the-divorce-was-final-do-i-still-have-a-right-to-remarry\/","url_meta":{"origin":35831,"position":5},"title":"I committed adultery before the divorce was final. Do I still have a right to remarry?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"May 26, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Your web site is teaching me so much. The Word is so powerful. I am really trying to get a good understanding of where I need to be. My husband committed adultery and I filed for divorce and ultimately divorced him. However, my divorce was not final before I\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35831","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=35831"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35831\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=35831"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=35831"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=35831"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}