Hi,<\/p>\n
I’m 20. You are the first to know what I’m about to say here:<\/p>\n
When I was in high school, I used to be teased for being very naive. This was because I often didn’t understand those dirty jokes my friends were talking about, sexual terms, etc. So one day I decided to Google those terms, words, and phrases. Then later, I got curious and started viewing images and then videos. I remember watching one really short video of this naked couple and instantaneously I was aroused and felt such pleasure as they (on the screen) were in the midst of sexual intercourse. I suddenly just snapped out of that arousing moment and felt so scared of the computer and just sat there and cried. I felt so guilty and condemned.<\/p>\n
I made a vow to God that I will not do such a thing ever again. But now I have fallen back into this disgusting addiction that is killing me inside. I feel so guilty, emotionless, and just dirty. I’ve not been praying because I feel so dirty and always tell myself that even if I pray and ask God to forgive me, I’m going to be doing it again and again.<\/p>\n
Surprisingly, I am a worship leader. Every time I stand there to lead, I feel so guilty and just miserable.<\/p>\n
Sorry for the long essay, but here’s my question: Is it possible to be free of this bondage by myself? Many people say it’s best to talk to someone. But I can’t, I just can’t!<\/strong>\u00a0How do I stop this completely? I need to stop! I hate myself for desiring something extremely disgusting! I need help.<\/p>\n\t Notice that you want to stop your sin on your own, something you’ve had ample opportunity to do so if it were possible, and yet you’ve not made any progress. You are so consumed by the sorrow for your sins that you’ve even stopped praying to God, who is the only one able to forgive your sin. “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness<\/em>” (I John 1:9). This is one reason James tells us, “Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much<\/em>” (James 5:16).<\/p>\n The core problem is that you sorrow, but you haven’t reached the point of repentance. “Now I rejoice, not that you were made sorry, but that your sorrow led to repentance. For you were made sorry in a godly manner, that you might suffer loss from us in nothing. For godly sorrow produces repentance leading to salvation, not to be regretted; but the sorrow of the world produces death. For observe this very thing, that you sorrowed in a godly manner: What diligence it produced in you, what clearing of yourselves, what indignation, what fear, what vehement desire, what zeal, what vindication! In all things you proved yourselves to be clear in this matter<\/em>” (II Corinthians 7:9-11). Instead of being spurred to change, you’ve given up. You have to move beyond sorrow. You have to change both your mind and your behavior, so radically that people in the future would never guess that you once had a problem in this area.<\/p>\n I would like you to read:\u00a0The Problem of Private Lust<\/a>\u00a0and\u00a0A Look at Pornography<\/a>. This should give you a better idea of both why it is wrong and how you are being manipulated. Is it possible to be free? It should obviously be “yes.” People have done so; I know a number personally. But for you to be among that number you need to understand better what is driving your temptation and discuss strategies with someone for gaining control over your behavior.<\/p>\n\t Hello,<\/p>\n I just wanted to thank you for your kind and straightforward advice. I read the links and started to work on getting my mind renewed day by day. I downloaded e-Sword and all the daily devotions that come with it have helped me! Though I get reminded of what I’ve seen and watched, I instantly reject it! I’m gradually improving and I’ve asked God to help me overcome temptations and unwanted thoughts that may come my way! This new year, I have re-dedicated my life, mind, and thoughts back to Jesus! I’ve repented and I choose to live without guilt. I still am being haunted by a huge amount of guilt, but I’m learning to overcome it!<\/p>\n I want to thank you so much for replying to my e-mail and helping me out! Thank you so very much! Jesus bless you abundantly! Blessed new year!<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Question: Hi, I’m 20. You are the first to know what I’m about to say here: When I was in high school, I used to be teased for being very naive. This was because I often didn’t understand those dirty jokes my friends were talking about, sexual terms, etc. So one day I decided to…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[226],"class_list":["post-35634","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-pornography"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":7487,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/what-is-pornographys-draw\/","url_meta":{"origin":35634,"position":0},"title":"What is pornography’s draw?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"September 22, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I don't know if this was already explained, but why are so many people addicted to pornography? More and more people are engaging in this kind of activities. And the viewers get younger and younger. I highly doubt that there are any benefits of pornography. But why? It's really\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":26700,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/if-you-say-pornography-is-not-fornication-are-you-not-accepting-pornography\/","url_meta":{"origin":35634,"position":1},"title":"If you say pornography is not fornication, are you not accepting pornography?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"March 14, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I'm sorry but I strongly disagree with \"Is looking at pornography fornication?\" Not that I would divorce my future husband if this was the case, but that I would totally support a lady who does because when you're married to a man, he is the only person who should\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":88060,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-thought-lust-would-go-away-once-i-was-married\/","url_meta":{"origin":35634,"position":2},"title":"I thought lust would go away once I was married","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"June 23, 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hello, I've been married for about a year now. I have a wonderful husband, and everything else is great. The issue I have is that I have struggled with lust, masturbation, and pornography for many years. I have been masturbating since I was really young, because I remember a\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":41599,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/ive-been-struggling-with-being-sexually-pure\/","url_meta":{"origin":35634,"position":3},"title":"I’ve been struggling with being sexually pure","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"January 17, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I am a 27-year-old Christian virgin male who wants to wait for marriage for sex. I have struggled with maintaining sexual purity, however. I have struggled and been addicted to porn off and on since I was maybe 12 years old. I remember the first time I ever masturbated\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":41658,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-used-to-think-that-pornography-was-just-a-means-of-cooling-ones-sexual-urge-but-now-i-know-better\/","url_meta":{"origin":35634,"position":4},"title":"I used to think that pornography was just a means of cooling one’s sexual urge, but now I know better.","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"January 23, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I used to think that pornography was a means of cooling one's sexual urge because I am not yet married. But thanks to your ministry for this great enlightenment and exposure which has made me a conqueror today. Answer: I'm glad the information has helped you to get out\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2019,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/what-is-the-spiritual-impact-of-online-pornography\/","url_meta":{"origin":35634,"position":5},"title":"What is the spiritual impact of online pornography?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"December 28, 2004","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: What is the spiritual impact of online pornography?\u00a0 I dated a man who used it a lot and even though we are no longer dating, I feel icky about his choice to use this. Answer: Pornography's impact is the same, whether we discuss pornography distributed over the Internet or\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35634","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=35634"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35634\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=35634"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=35634"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=35634"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}Answer:<\/h2>\n
Response:<\/h2>\n