{"id":35192,"date":"2012-10-11T20:28:00","date_gmt":"2012-10-12T01:28:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/?p=35192"},"modified":"2021-05-09T20:30:14","modified_gmt":"2021-05-10T01:30:14","slug":"i-started-to-engage-in-sexual-talk-with-an-old-girlfriend-but-i-stopped-do-i-need-to-tell-my-fiancee","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-started-to-engage-in-sexual-talk-with-an-old-girlfriend-but-i-stopped-do-i-need-to-tell-my-fiancee\/","title":{"rendered":"I started to engage in sexual talk with an old girlfriend, but I stopped. Do I need to tell my fiancee?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\n\t<h2>Question:<\/h2>\n<p>I am in a relationship with a wonderful woman. We are engaged to be married. I am a man of God and I am very religious. Recently one of my ex-girlfriends contacted me and wanted me to offer some sexual services over the phone. I felt it was wrong but I was stupid and went along with it. We got started but then I stopped and said I couldn&#8217;t continue. It didn&#8217;t feel right and wouldn&#8217;t be fair to my fiance. So I hung up and prayed and asked for forgiveness. I feel really guilty about it and I don&#8217;t want any part of that anymore. Should I tell my fiance? Is this considered adultery and lust? And finally, will I be forgiven?<\/p>\n\t<h2>Answer:<\/h2>\n<p>All sins can be forgiven (II Peter 3:9). Why do you think you would be treated differently from anyone else?<\/p>\n<p>What you did cannot be called adultery because you are not married. The biblical terms would be lewdness, lust, and uncleanness. &#8220;<em>Let us walk properly, as in the day, not in revelry and drunkenness, not in lewdness and lust, not in strife and envy. But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to fulfill its lusts<\/em>&#8221; (Romans 13:13-14).<\/p>\n<p>What you did was wrong, but you&#8217;ve repented of it. It was a sin against yourself (I Corinthians 6:18). It doesn&#8217;t impact your fiancee&#8217;s future, so there is no reason to bring it up unless you are wanting to cause a fight with her, make her not trust you, and possibly call off your marriage. If ever asked, you don&#8217;t lie about it, but I would strongly suggest that you don&#8217;t get into details. She doesn&#8217;t need to know when or with whom. What would be most important for her to know if you are asked is that you regret it, you stopped it, and you have repented of it.<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Question: I am in a relationship with a wonderful woman. We are engaged to be married. I am a man of God and I am very religious. Recently one of my ex-girlfriends contacted me and wanted me to offer some sexual services over the phone. I felt it was wrong but I was stupid and&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[443,770],"class_list":["post-35192","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-sexting","tag-sexual-talk"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":29438,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/sometimes-my-fiance-and-i-get-too-involved-with-each-other-and-it-is-disturbing-me\/","url_meta":{"origin":35192,"position":0},"title":"Sometimes my fiance and I get too involved with each other and it is disturbing me","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"October 6, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I am in a situation that needs your help. There is this sister in my church. I have proposed to her and we plan to get married after her graduation from the university. We both love each other. We have never had intercourse, but sometimes we get involved in\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":64239,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/how-do-i-talk-to-my-fiance-about-my-sin\/","url_meta":{"origin":35192,"position":1},"title":"How do I talk to my fiance about my sin?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"November 23, 2023","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Good day, pastor, I hope you are doing well. My fiancee and I have been engaged for almost three years now. There was a time when I was going on many business trips. During that period I met a lady and I developed feelings for her but I didn't\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":27393,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/is-phone-sex-with-your-fiance-a-sin\/","url_meta":{"origin":35192,"position":2},"title":"Is phone sex with your fiance a sin?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"May 9, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I am a born again believer, and I am going to marry a person committed to the Lord. We are engaged and we are waiting for the marriage. During these times we indulge in a little phone sex. It ends up with me ejaculating. Is it ok or is\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":34864,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/my-fiance-and-i-engaged-in-foreplay-how-do-we-answer-the-church-if-we-are-asked-knowing-this-will-mean-we-cannot-be-wed-in-the-church\/","url_meta":{"origin":35192,"position":3},"title":"My fiance and I engaged in foreplay. How do we answer the church if we are asked, knowing this will mean we cannot be wed in the church?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"September 18, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: How do we answer the church if I and my fianc\u00e9 are asked if we have had sex before marriage when we have engaged in the foreplay of sexual activities? Knowing we cannot be wed in the church if we say yes, though we didn't do the real act.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":32363,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/is-it-wrong-for-a-woman-to-relieve-her-fiance-using-masturbation-until-they-get-married\/","url_meta":{"origin":35192,"position":4},"title":"Is it wrong for a woman to relieve her fiance using masturbation until they get married?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"March 30, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Praise the Lord. I read your correspondence regarding\u00a0oral sex\u00a0and found it to be very enlightening. Does this reasoning also apply to a woman relieving her fianc\u00e9 using masturbation on him until they marry? Answer: \"Now concerning the things of which you wrote to me: It is good for a\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":41245,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/can-my-former-fiance-and-i-be-friends-after-committing-fornication\/","url_meta":{"origin":35192,"position":5},"title":"Can my former fianc\u00e8 and I be friends after committing fornication?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"December 31, 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hello, I am a young woman in my early twenties who has been on and off in my relationship with God. I have grown, in a sense. I've memorized several Scriptures, read my Bible, and involved myself in a girl's Bible study. I've struggled with sexual sin most of\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35192","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=35192"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35192\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=35192"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=35192"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=35192"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}