Hi Jeffrey,<\/p>\n
I’m in a courtship with a lady and we both promised each other never to fornicate, which we have kept for three years now. But we do kiss and romance each other since a year into our courtship. I have tried to stop it but to no avail. She has self-control over her body more than I do because I have been the one persuading her, whereas she reminds me of the promise we made knowing that kissing and romancing are also against God’s law. After becoming a pastor, I still struggle with how to stop kissing and romancing her without having sex with her. Please help me with advice on how to stop it because I heard a voice recently while on my bed saying “the only thing I want from you is to be faithful to me.” Please help me with advice on how to stop kissing and romancing her.<\/p>\n\t
The best advice is Paul’s: “But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am; but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion<\/em>” (I Corinthians 7:8-9). So why not get married? Even knowing there will be a time in the future when you will be able to have sex will help you to resist the temptation now.<\/p>\n You can exercise self-control, but not if you keep trying to push things further toward sex. Keep your hands to yourself, not touching private areas. Brief kisses are fine, but not long ones that ignite your passion. Treat her with the respect she deserves and not as an object of sexual fantasies.<\/p>\n\t Thanks for the advice. I’m sorry for replying late to express my heartfelt gratitude to you. By God’s grace, I will do as you said. I’m trying to be matured in the things of God so I need mentors. Thanks and God bless you with abundant life, peace, and divine health (John 10:10; Jeremiah 29:11; III John 2).<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Question: Hi Jeffrey, I’m in a courtship with a lady and we both promised each other never to fornicate, which we have kept for three years now. But we do kiss and romance each other since a year into our courtship. I have tried to stop it but to no avail. She has self-control over…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[149,156,203],"class_list":["post-35075","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-dating","tag-lust","tag-sexual-touching"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":32883,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/weve-been-involved-in-lewd-behavior-in-the-past-which-we-know-is-wrong-so-how-do-we-stop\/","url_meta":{"origin":35075,"position":0},"title":"We’ve been involved in lewd behavior in the past, which we know is wrong. So how do we stop?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"May 15, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Sir, We have been in a relationship since childhood. We grew up together and we both are Christians. We are now in our early twenties. We have been kissing, fondling, and touching our private parts for the past few years. But we have kept it very strongly in our\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":61235,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/you-may-now-kiss-the-bride\/","url_meta":{"origin":35075,"position":1},"title":"You May\u00a0NOW\u00a0Kiss the Bride","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"June 9, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"by Cindy Dunagan via\u00a0Focus Magazine, No. 98, April 2008. Sexual purity. What virtue is more difficult to instill in our teenagers than purity of heart? No one needs to tell you we are living in an ultra-sexualized culture where your teenagers will be continually surrounded by sexual temptation. This roaring\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Article"","block_context":{"text":"Article","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/article\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/06\/WeddingKiss.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":19103,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/what-is-the-difference-between-courtship-and-dating\/","url_meta":{"origin":35075,"position":2},"title":"What is the difference between courtship and dating?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"June 10, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: What is the difference between courtship and dating? I don't see any difference. Answer: Dating in American culture is when a boy and a girl see each other regularly and go out on outings together, one-on-one. The purpose is to get to know each other and to decide if\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":19562,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/is-kissing-wrong-before-marriage\/","url_meta":{"origin":35075,"position":3},"title":"Is kissing wrong before marriage?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"February 3, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hello, I just read your answer to a question about if handjobs or fingering were a sin. I liked how you explained it, but I got confused towards the end. You explained it with an analogy that you wouldn\u2019t want another man fingering your wife. This made me wonder\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":19157,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/does-the-person-who-had-sex-with-another-persons-fiancee-needs-to-apologize-to-the-fiancee\/","url_meta":{"origin":35075,"position":4},"title":"Does the person who had sex with another person’s fiancee needs to apologize to the fiancee","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"January 27, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: If a Christian sister falls into formication with a brother who is engaged, and both have sincerely repented, is it necessary for the sister to call the brother's fianc\u00e9e to apologize as a form of restitution?\u00a0 Does the brother need to tell his fianc\u00e9e and show her the sister\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":23008,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-posted-a-picture-of-a-girl-i-loved-and-me-kissing-was-that-wrong\/","url_meta":{"origin":35075,"position":5},"title":"I posted a picture of a girl I loved and me kissing. Was that wrong?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"April 21, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I truly loved a girl. We had sex. We made a kissing picture and I put that picture on a web site. That was my mistake. Is that a wrong thing to do? Answer: I hope I understand your question accurately. 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