My heart is heavy.\u00a0 My sister and her husband are no longer in the church. They have chosen a worldly lifestyle, and tell their children, one of whom is baptized, that they don’t need to go to church to get to heaven and that churches are full of hypocrites.\u00a0 Her heart has hardened and she has turned into a different person. I believe she has a problem with prescription drugs and alcohol.\u00a0 My parents really didn’t understand what was wrong with her, they just knew she acted differently and had stopped going to church and rebuked her.\u00a0 She has said horrible things to them and no longer speaks to them. She will not even look at them if she sees them at public events.<\/p>\n
I used to partake in some of the things they were doing when I was at their home. I know that it was wrong, and I was not setting a good example.\u00a0I knew I was being a hypocrite.\u00a0 After she stopped speaking to my parents, we have had some pretty heated confrontations that I feel guilty about it. She has really talked bad about me to other people, mostly lies, and we no longer speak.\u00a0 It is a bad situation. I miss my sister but not the person she has become.\u00a0 Should I write her a letter telling her that I have not been a good example and have repented, knowing she will just lash out at me again, or should I go in front of the church, even though I think God has already forgiven me?<\/p>\n\t
The problem started long before your sister’s family left the church. Your sister was living a lie. She was sinning but pretending nothing was wrong by going to church. Others who knew they were in sin also looked the other way, pretending everything was fine, as long as they continued to come to church. Thus it was much like the church at Corinth: “It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you, and such sexual immorality as is not even named among the Gentiles–that a man has his father’s wife! And you are puffed up, and have not rather mourned, that he who has done this deed might be taken away from among you<\/em>” (I Corinthians 5:1-2). The type of sin is different, but the problem of dealing with ongoing sin remains the same.<\/p>\n Your sister has become more consistent. She is in the wrong, but she has stopped pretending that she is good. She knows she is wrong. That is why she snaps at any reminder of the ruin she is making of her life.<\/p>\n Your life is written evidence of who you are, not what others might say about you. Ignore any rumors. Instead, live in such a way that no one would believe the rumors. “Having your conduct honorable among the Gentiles, that when they speak against you as evildoers, they may, by your good works which they observe, glorify God in the day of visitation<\/em>” (I Peter 2:12).<\/p>\n Do write and apologize to your sister. Also, tell her that you’ll be waiting for her return after she leaves her sins. What she does with your letter is her business. You don’t determine whether an action is right or wrong based on how others might react. If that were the case, Jesus should have never told the Jews the truth since it caused them to send him to the cross. You focus on doing the right things and improving yourself. Meanwhile, you can’t make your sister straighten out, so you have to go on with life and be prepared to welcome her back if she ever does change.<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Question: My heart is heavy.\u00a0 My sister and her husband are no longer in the church. They have chosen a worldly lifestyle, and tell their children, one of whom is baptized, that they don’t need to go to church to get to heaven and that churches are full of hypocrites.\u00a0 Her heart has hardened and…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[372],"class_list":["post-35047","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-drugs"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":92373,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/does-a-church-have-the-right-to-remove-from-its-roll-a-member-who-no-longer-lives-in-the-area\/","url_meta":{"origin":35047,"position":0},"title":"Does a church have the right to remove from its roll a member who no longer lives in the area?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"November 28, 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Dear Sir, I have been reading your articles and learning a lot from your Bible teachings. Thank you for all you do and for your heart to spread the Truth. Here's my question: There's a sister in our Church who was reached out while working as a house helper\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":42635,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/do-i-let-my-daughter-hang-out-with-worldly-people-in-hopes-of-leading-them-to-god\/","url_meta":{"origin":35047,"position":1},"title":"Do I let my daughter hang out with worldly people in hopes of leading them to God?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"April 25, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I was addicted to alcohol and used drugs from the time I was 11 until about 25.\u00a0 I had a baby at 25 and began thinking strongly about how my parents' choices and life of sin had shaped me into the person I had been.\u00a0 After feeling something in\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":20136,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/how-do-i-get-my-parents-to-see-that-they-are-enabling-my-sister-to-be-a-drug-user\/","url_meta":{"origin":35047,"position":2},"title":"How do I get my parents to see that they are enabling my sister to be a drug user?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"September 11, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: This question is about addiction and enabling and how it relates to the Bible. My sister got pregnant in high school and gave birth to my niece when she was 17 years old. My parents raised the child and formally adopted her. So, legally my niece became my sister.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":92523,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/how-do-i-help-a-family-member-who-is-not-helping-herself\/","url_meta":{"origin":35047,"position":3},"title":"How do I help a family member who is not helping herself?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"December 8, 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hello! I would like to know what the biblical approach to this problem is. My husband and I are newly married. We're just about getting by with our bills and debts with both of our incomes. At the same time, we're trying to save for his green card process,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":65196,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/should-this-elder-step-down\/","url_meta":{"origin":35047,"position":4},"title":"Should this elder step down?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"December 29, 2023","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: We have a very difficult situation on our hands. I was hoping to get some advice on this. My husband and I attend the church of Christ and we have two elders at our church. One of them has an adult daughter who left the church. She was married\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":39573,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/how-do-i-handle-someone-making-rude-remarks-in-a-public-forum\/","url_meta":{"origin":35047,"position":5},"title":"How do I handle someone making rude remarks in a public forum?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"July 2, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hi there, I have a question, as much as I hate to even ask it. A sister has set up a church \"group\" on Facebook designed to encourage, update and remind each other of different things. Many members are a part of this group, male and female. The sister,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35047","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=35047"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35047\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=35047"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=35047"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=35047"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}