{"id":34649,"date":"2012-09-06T21:04:00","date_gmt":"2012-09-07T02:04:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/?p=34649"},"modified":"2021-04-27T21:06:40","modified_gmt":"2021-04-28T02:06:40","slug":"is-having-kids-marriage","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/is-having-kids-marriage\/","title":{"rendered":"Is having kids marriage?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\n\t

Question:<\/h2>\n

Hello,<\/p>\n

Well, I have a question that really bothers my spirit. I am currently attending church weekly and am really trying to devote my life to Him. I am in a dilemma. Before I fully gave my life to God, I was with a woman whom I kind of loved but not all the way. We ended up having two kids out of wedlock. We tried to make it work and have broken up many times over.<\/p>\n

Here’s my question: Does God consider having kids with someone’s marriage? I want to follow His commandments, but I just don’t love her the way I feel like I should. I don’t really enjoy spending time with her. I just don’t feel the mental connection, but as I said I have much love for her and wish her the best. I don’t want to be an adulterer if God considers having kids marriage and if I were to meet another woman and marry her. I just thought you’re supposed to marry someone you love. If God doesn’t consider having kids marriage, would He want me to get married for the kids and stop being selfish with my feelings? I just want to be in a happy relationship, get married, and serve God.<\/p>\n

Thank you for reading. I appreciate any answer you are able to come up with. God bless.<\/p>\n\t

Answer:<\/h2>\n

Marriage is when a man enters into a covenant relationship with a woman. “Yet she is your companion and your wife by covenant<\/em>” (Malachi 2:14).<\/p>\n

Sex is what is allowable to take place\u00a0after<\/em> marriage, but sex and its consequences do not create a marriage. “Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge<\/em>” (Hebrews 13:4).<\/p>\n

What you did with this woman is considered fornication. One of the consequences of your sin is that you produced children who now must grow up in a home with both parents. I’m glad you’ve turned from your sin and I hope that means you have truly become a Christian. (See:\u00a0What Must I Do to Be Saved?<\/a>) But regardless, you are responsible for the children you brought into this world. You are responsible for their upbringing and care because you volunteered for this duty.<\/p>\n

No, there is no requirement that you must marry this woman. I find it sad that a guy can be perfectly happy to have sex and make children with a woman he doesn’t care to live with. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad you’ve changed, but it is a sad commentary on our society that such is somehow acceptable and I feel really sorry for the kids.<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Question: Hello, Well, I have a question that really bothers my spirit. I am currently attending church weekly and am really trying to devote my life to Him. I am in a dilemma. Before I fully gave my life to God, I was with a woman whom I kind of loved but not all the…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_seo_schema_type":"","footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[20],"tags":[64],"class_list":["post-34649","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-marriage"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":41913,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/should-i-marry-the-non-christian-im-living-with\/","url_meta":{"origin":34649,"position":0},"title":"Should I marry the non-Christian I’m living with?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"February 18, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hello, I am having a few issues. I fell in love with a non-Christian and planned to marry her. I fully believed that God would save her and she would become Christian. I love her but after my pastor kept pushing me not to marry her because she was\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":37720,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/am-i-sinning-by-seeing-a-woman-who-still-lives-with-her-husband-though-she-says-they-are-separated\/","url_meta":{"origin":34649,"position":1},"title":"Am I sinning by seeing a woman who still lives with her husband, though she says they are separated?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"March 10, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I'm seeing a woman who lives with her husband but is separating and has no relationship with him. She stays together with him for the kids' sake, but this has been going on for two years. Am I committing a sin? I honestly believe her that they are not\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":44817,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/should-i-marry-the-woman-my-brother-once-slept-with\/","url_meta":{"origin":34649,"position":2},"title":"Should I marry the woman my brother once slept with?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"March 4, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: First of all may God bless you for this site. I committed fornication for the first time when I was at the age of 21 years. Since then I have not been able to control myself from fornication. I always have regretted doing it. I want to stop it,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":31157,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-keep-pulling-out-of-committing-to-marry-even-though-i-want-to-be-married-what-should-i-do\/","url_meta":{"origin":34649,"position":3},"title":"I keep pulling out of committing to marry even though I want to be married. What should I do?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"January 1, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I am a man in my thirties. I wanted to settle down for the past few years now. I find it hard to find the right girl that suits me, though I can say that I am quite popular with girls. I am always finding things that I am\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":44825,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-have-children-with-two-different-women-who-do-i-marry\/","url_meta":{"origin":34649,"position":4},"title":"I have children with two different women. Who do I marry?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"March 5, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hello, I am currently going through a crisis for which I need your advice. I am a man with two kids from two different women. I dated one girl for two years and am engaged to her. But later, because of her decision to stop having sex with me,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":33053,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/do-i-need-to-get-her-parents-permission-before-marrying-my-girlfriend\/","url_meta":{"origin":34649,"position":5},"title":"Do I need to get her parent’s permission before marrying my girlfriend?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"June 1, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I read\u00a0the articles you had concerning \"Fornication\". The woman I am courting is a virgin. I on the other hand am not. I was disciplined by the Lord on behalf of my actions from the flesh when I was indulging in pre-marital sex. 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