I recently left our nearly 50-year marriage, moved to another state, and am starting my life over. He sexually abused me for most of our marriage. It consisted of forcing me to read a pornographic “book” he put together by pasting images on notebook pages with his own captions. The theme was always me and a “boyfriend” enjoying each other and making fun of him at the same time. Then he forced me to masturbate him and sometimes oral sex. Although he didn’t physically abuse me, I was in fear for my life at these times.<\/p>\n
He also had a few month’s affair. It went so far as sitting in a motel room kissing and he fondled her somewhat. He told me he was uncomfortable being there, asked the lady if she wanted to leave, he took her home and never saw her again. I believe him.<\/p>\n
Do I have scriptural grounds to divorce him based on either situation? It seems like a gray area to me. I give you my word all this is true. I haven’t exaggerated anything. In fact, there is more, this is the crucial part. I only had the courage to write you after I read a sexual abuse letter on your web page.<\/p>\n
Thank you for your help.<\/p>\n\t
To divorce him that would allow remarriage? It doesn’t sound like it. Though he was involved in adultery with that woman, it does sound as if it was a one-time thing for which you took him back a while ago. The other things were wrong, but they don’t fall under the category of fornication. The passage that would apply if you chose to divorce him would be I Corinthians 7:10-11.<\/p>\n
This is one of those situations where the problems could have been dealt with years ago if the problems were discussed with a knowledgeable elder. The biggest problem is that it was left to fester for so long. ” “Be angry, and do not sin”: do not let the sun go down on your wrath,\u00a0 nor give place to the devil<\/em>” (Ephesians 4:26-27). My recommendation is for both of you to work the problems out, though I suspect it will take time and effort to accomplish it.<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Question: I recently left our nearly 50-year marriage, moved to another state, and am starting my life over. He sexually abused me for most of our marriage. It consisted of forcing me to read a pornographic “book” he put together by pasting images on notebook pages with his own captions. The theme was always me…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[20],"tags":[167],"class_list":["post-34582","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-divorce"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":68779,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/do-i-have-grounds-for-a-divorce\/","url_meta":{"origin":34582,"position":0},"title":"Do I have grounds for a divorce?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"July 9, 2024","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Greetings from the Philippines! I support your website and have been reading the posts and questions of other readers. I came to you because you answer the questions carefully and evaluate each scenario. I have been a Christian all my life by religion but just recently surrendered my life\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":16947,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/is-phone-sex-grounds-for-a-divorce\/","url_meta":{"origin":34582,"position":1},"title":"Is phone sex grounds for a divorce?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"December 4, 2008","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I\u00a0have recently divorced my husband for sexual immorality and abuse.\u00a0 He watched pornography, read Playboy magazines, is a nudist around other nude men and women, and also paid several times to have phone sex with\u00a0real women.\u00a0These actions have been going on for about ten years or more. I consider\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":17116,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/does-a-divorce-because-of-forced-sex-in-marriage-allow-for-remarriage\/","url_meta":{"origin":34582,"position":2},"title":"Does a divorce because of forced sex in marriage allow for remarriage?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"December 29, 2008","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I just read the article regarding whether\u00a0marital rape is biblical grounds for divorce. This question is brought up at the end: \"Meanwhile, what is the husband supposed to do? I think the answer is \"wait.\" If your wife were deathly ill, you would have no problem foregoing sex during\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":14974,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/my-husband-was-previously-involved-in-a-marriage-scam-is-my-marriage-legitimate\/","url_meta":{"origin":34582,"position":3},"title":"My husband was previously involved in a marriage scam. Is my marriage legitimate?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"November 9, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Thank you for reading and responding. I have found your articles and answers to be very helpful and I\u2019m happy a platform as such exists.\u00a0 I met my husband the same day he filed for divorce and things between us moved fast. We were married in less than a\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":18928,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/my-husband-claims-he-been-seeing-other-women-where-sexual-touching-was-involved-but-no-intercourse-he-thinks-it-is-no-big-deal-do-i-have-grounds-for-a-divorce\/","url_meta":{"origin":34582,"position":4},"title":"My husband claims he been seeing other women where sexual touching was involved but no intercourse. He thinks it is no big deal. Do I have grounds for a divorce?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"June 1, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I recently found some inappropriate emails to my husband (of 15 years) from another woman.\u00a0 He admitted to me that he has been with four other women starting about 5 years ago.\u00a0 He says there was no intercourse only sexual touching.\u00a0 He touched their genitals and they touched his\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":38305,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/what-if-you-dont-have-concrete-evidence-that-your-spouse-is-committing-adultery\/","url_meta":{"origin":34582,"position":5},"title":"What if you don’t have concrete evidence that your spouse is committing adultery?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"April 9, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Thank you for your web site. I have a question that you sort of touched on in a post, but I wanted to confirm. What if a spouse strongly suspects infidelities but has no concrete evidence? (The post I referenced involved a husband who may have been seeing prostitutes.)\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/34582","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=34582"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/34582\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=34582"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=34582"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=34582"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}